Questions on uncontested divorce

[secretgardenfc]

Dear all,

I intend to file for divorce cos my hubby has an affair. I have got some questions wondering if anyone can help.
I'm married for 12 years+, got a 12 yo kid.

My hubby has agreed to settle this amicably. We discussed and in order not to disrupt my kid's daily life and reduce the impact as much as possible, we are thinking to stay together after filing for divorce for the sake of the child. Everything will be as per normal except for our marriage status.

1. Would anyone know that are we able to stay in the same flat after divorce procedures has completed? If not, what are the options I can use?
2. If were to transfer the ownership of flat to me, I have to pay him what he has paid , otherwise, he has to agree to transfer the flat to me without obligation, am I right?
3. As it will be an uncontested divorce and I want to be as low profile as possible cos don't want to let me parents and child knows. I thought DIY all procedures and paperwork by myself. Would anyone roughly know what are the steps and checklist required?

Sorry to ask such basic questions. Hope anyone can advise me.

 

[MyENV]

Read :
singaporelegaladvice.com
1) Divorce: All you need to know
2) Online Divorce in Singapore: How it Works and Should You Get One?

 

[verysadguy]

1. Yes you can, provided no one reports you. You also need to know that without informing HDB, your ex-hubby cannot buy another flat after divorce
2. HDB won't allow the transfer the ownership without knowing that both of you have divorced. If both of you intend to stay in the house, the status of ownership has to remain status quo.
3. Better to engage a lawyer. If the forms are wrongly filled up, the divorce cannot proceed. There's also a section on ancillary matters on what do you intend to do about the matrimonial flat. How are you going to write if both of you intend to stay in the house? How about custody of the child?

 

[secretgardenfc]

In this case, is it possible for him transfer the flat to me and also help pay for the mortage loan also?

 

[beaverjuice]

In this case, is it possible for him transfer the flat to me and also help pay for the mortage loan also?

As someone mentioned upthread, the transfer in ownership to solely your name is subject to HDB rules after the divorce nisi absolute is granted. This is to prevent couples from gaming the system.

He is paying in cash or using CPF?

 

[secretgardenfc]

Ohh ic.. If can, he wants to pay in CPF.

 

[beaverjuice]

Ohh ic.. If can, he wants to pay in CPF.

I doubt anyone has ever got the approval from CPF to use their CPF monies to pay for a flat that is not in their name.

 

[NewChapter]

If he really want to pay in CPF , he should do it now .
Once divorce completed , ask him inform HDB that he want to transfer HDB flat to you without any monies involved .
Also can ask lawyer to draft this terms if he want

 

[rip_curl]

Dear all,

I intend to file for divorce cos my hubby has an affair. I have got some questions wondering if anyone can help.
I'm married for 12 years+, got a 12 yo kid.

My hubby has agreed to settle this amicably. We discussed and in order not to disrupt my kid's daily life and reduce the impact as much as possible, we are thinking to stay together after filing for divorce for the sake of the child. Everything will be as per normal except for our marriage status.

1. Would anyone know that are we able to stay in the same flat after divorce procedures has completed? If not, what are the options I can use?
2. If were to transfer the ownership of flat to me, I have to pay him what he has paid , otherwise, he has to agree to transfer the flat to me without obligation, am I right?
3. As it will be an uncontested divorce and I want to be as low profile as possible cos don't want to let me parents and child knows. I thought DIY all procedures and paperwork by myself. Would anyone roughly know what are the steps and checklist required?

Sorry to ask such basic questions. Hope anyone can advise me.

Hi,
I have been thru it (my kids were around 10 and 11 respectively then) and will like to share my thoughts hoping that you will really put some thoughts to it. Especially when the D was due to 3rd party. For your sanity at least and to ensure you get on with your life.

When it all started, it is easy to say you want to stay together for the sake of the kids. I understand that part because I had that same idea. But as things dragged, emotions get affected as well. It is not as simple ok we will stay till the kid is teens. Some things to bear in mind:

1) You will delay getting on with life
2) Kids will also realized they are often caught in between living in between the both of you in the same house. They will be able to sense the difference. How do you expect the kid to react? They need their sanity too.
3) Emotions will be a roller coaster. His attitude will change towards you and you cant comment on how he wants to live with his life. even if he does not come home and you know he is freaking fxxking outside. Can you take it?

Just want to share what I been thru. Think sensibly even though its painful. Its never going to be fair to you. Bite the bullet and try to get over it asap is the way to go IMHO

 

[beaverjuice]

On the flip side, we shouldn't underestimate how some kids can be resilient despite a disfunctional family unit (divorced parents or separated/living under the same roof as the case may be).

When we were young, my dad had an affair but my mom stayed because of us. I didn't think we grew up any worse given the circumstances although till this day many years after, my mom did rue that decision to stay.

Sometimes i did wish she had divorced my dad and gave herself a second shot at happiness. But of course those days it would have been different for a divorcee in her position compared with the present day. Still i have often wondered whether a different outcome for her - if she would have been a much happier person today.

I am more inclined to @rip_curl 's reply - that maybe you should give yourself a fresh start