Question for all husband

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Chili Padi, you took nine years to change. It's not a short time. If you really want to see change in your husband (depending on his willingness), you might have to give it more time. But if he is not sincere about rebuilding the marriage, even if you were to give me 100 years it will not make any difference.

It takes two to build a marriage but only one to break it.
 


Hi skylar, i really did that cos the woman ask me to look myself into the mirror n ask y am i holding on to this marriage. she even said time will tell hubby will leave me for her. And also hubby kept telling me left her n even shouted at me for doubting him, in the end.....tats y i lost control when i caught them together!

HBH, u can c through me. i want to be wif my hubby, but he is secretive n reserved n trust is lost. i m trying hard to make myself believe him this time but doubts kept surfacing...i am afraid my doubt will chase him away if this time he is honest, on the other hand i m afraid of being cheated the 4th time.

Doll u r right too!! hubby kept saying we r like strangers sleeping on the same bed but living separate lives. he really need time again to open up to me! but i am getting impatient n overly sensitive cos of all the cheating n rejections for him to get closer....
 

jinnous

Member
Hi HBH,

mark78 already edited his post lah.... he said wat "moron", probably not referring to me lah but just sounds insulting lor....

Like I mentioned, I was referring to the husband in this case, not the general sex.


For TS, basically the trust is not there anymore.... it's so painful to live together like house mates. Like wat the chinese proverb says, 'chang tong bu ru duan tong'. You dun wan to be hurt and get disappointed all over again.

Like my cousin, she was heavily pregnant and her hubby was having affairs. She checked in, gave birth and signed on the bb's birth cert all by herself. No woman should go thru this by herself.

Try to think about it, letting go might be a good thing to do, you might meet someone better along the way. Try to think positive, part amiably than on bitter terms.
 

alcifertoh

New Member
If that is the case, try to come to a consensus on the length of time which you both can work it out on. Otherwise, it would be getting no where. The both of you ain't seeing any destination in this case. And when we mean try, both parties have to try. Not just talking about it.

Have an open mind. The result of this trying period may be what you seek for and not as well. You have to think what's next. Try to focus more on yourself as an individual, if not also for your children.

Like I said, ask yourself. Frankly answer yourself how long you can last through current situation and what will the outcome be? You should know it better than all of us as you had been with your husband for this long. But however it is to be, you must have plans for yourself.

That is also why you wanted to try and form back the family together. But open yourself up for more options and do not force yourself.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
As HBH has rightly pointed out, to try is to take risk, and that includes risking that the outcome may not turn out to be what you desire.

Anyway, sometimes the more you chase after someone the more he wants to flee from you. Why don't you stop working on reconciliation, focus in other aspects of life. You may get a fresh perspective after taking your eyes off him and the marriage for a while.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Iris,

hummm... guess, u really don't get it. You mentioned divorce as the reason why you don't believe in true love. But clearly people do divorce for love too.

In fact, many people let go willingly of those they loved and yet hurt them so much so that they could search new happiness. Because they cannot bear to see how the relationship isn't working and how his/her partner was tied down by responsiblities and social pressures & guilt. They see how he/she can be happier with someone else. This act itself is out of love. Love need not be possessive. Its pretty much an art. Someone else might not appreciate it the same way are you do. But, it doesn't change the value of it to the person that appreciates it at all.

There is no one definition of true love. If my wife is to leave me because she has found happiness with someone else, I can only let her go. Not because my love for her ceases. But simply, its the best for her. There will be the shock and grieving phase that all will go through but life goes on.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Doll,

"Why don't you stop working on reconciliation, focus in other aspects of life. You may get a fresh perspective after taking your eyes off him and the marriage for a while."

fully agree.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
There is no blanket definition of true love lah. Just like how a piece of banana can look so different from one perspective to another.
 

skylar

New Member
TS,

not surprised that u will flip ur top if the 3rd pty said this to you rite in ur face.. guess perhaps that is her aim u know.. to make u pissed off & u will vent ur anger at her rite in front of ur hb & then she will become the victim.. see???

so indirectly u have fallen into her trap. best is if u can control ur own emotions.. i know its not easy but it can be done..

think the only way now is to make ur hb open up to you. ask if he CAN or NOT to open up his mind set to let you enter into his life again, if the ans is yes, then see if his actions prove it.. but if his ans is no.. then sad to say even though u wish to stay on with him in this family, its high time u wake up...
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
"hummm... guess, u really don't get it. You mentioned divorce as the reason why you don't believe in true love. But clearly people do divorce for love too."

I agree with Milo that divorce does not mean you hate your spouse or that you don't love him/her anymore. It can be an act of love.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
I wouldn't call it selfless. Rather, the rational thing to do. If the parties are rational enough and not bring blame and emotions into the breakup, it can be done peacefully.
 

seckpin

New Member
"...not bring blame and emotions into the breakup"

Hmm, couldn't help but pick this one up... i'm not starting another flaming session but just my thought ok...
happy.gif


When it comes to the matters of the heart, to not blame is possible but to not bring in emotions, especially when one party is still in love with another, i'd think it's extremely difficult.

Theoretically it's possible, but in reality love is irrational. That's why sometimes even the party having the affair can't explain WHY he/she falls for a 3rd party when rationally his brain may tell him that he should not break up his happy family for the outside woman, but his heart tells him otherwise.

Well, at least that's what what i've heard from the men...
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
IMHO, emotions is only one aspect of the love we have. As u see, the definition of love differs drastically for everyone.

And no one says its easy. Its possible not just in theory. But just not for everyone. We all make difficult decisions in our lives. When u realize dragging on isn't helping, one would let go. Think about it, most of us experience extreme pain over deaths of our loved ones, but its something we will go through. Its extremely difficult but someday, we need to accept reality. Similarly, when a marriage or relationship is gone. There is no way we can hold on. What's left are really only memories.

Do we choose to destroy what's left or cherish them? The choice is ours.

Be careful of the trap we set for ourselves. Excusing ourselves to indulge longer than required in self torture and misery. Saying how difficult it is doesn't make it any easier. Only facing and accepting it, will we take steps to move on from it. In everything, practice helps. The more we refuse to control our emotions and excuse that behavior, the more we encourage the emotional outburst.

And, being rational, isn't becoming unfeeling. We may cry, shout and scream and be really heart broken, get drunk etc. There is always a shock and grieving period. But, beyond that, do we dwell in hatred? That's something many does even though its a very painful and tiring thing to hold on.
 

mypellia

New Member
Hi all,

After reading so many posts and discussions over individual's issues and heart matters.

I would love to share an interesting blog which may be helpful to read. Of course, we can read and read. How much it will change one mindset is another question. But I guess, it's worth giving yourself a chance to try. At least serve as a good reminder or supplements to your well being and mind.

Hope this is useful to all.

http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk/blog/life/how-to-distinguish-between-love-and-emotional-dependence/
 

seckpin

New Member
Yes, yes, of course i know it takes time. I wasn't talking about the letting go and moving on part, but the part about the "breakup" (i.e. divorce). I meant at the point of the "breakup", i doubt it is easy to not bring in emotions. But after that, to slowly let go and move on is of course can be done if we want to.

I guess i took the sentence "...not bring blame and emotions into the breakup" too literary. :p
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
It's not easy not to bring in emotions but bringing in the emotions makes it many times more difficult to settle the differences. Of course I naturally took the "easy" way out.
 

powder

Active Member
chilli padi,

to your question...

i'd continue to date gfren with no marital commitments but just as companions.

will start the proceedings to divorce u and continue to be a great father. u and the kids dun come in a package so i can take u out of the equation. Best if we can be frens, having lived a good part of our lives together and in union, but it's time to say goodbye as husband and wife.

what makes u unattractive now, to me as a guy, is the line of questions and reasonings... i see that u Think that i as a husband have only 2 choices. and what i despise most in pple - is to appeal to the black and whites like what's right, what's wrong - in order to retain me as a husband.

if i was your husband, i know i wanna leave u becos u make me feel like one of the possessions and achievements which u, as a capable woman, has achieved and dun wanna lose. Life offers more than the 2 options and if u dun realise there's option 3, 4, ,5.

to u it's just the lady and you. u sure abt that? whilst u go asking around what pple will choose, whilst u go reason to husbands and 3rd parties... u would have already lost me if i was your husband.
 

flow

New Member
Marriage is for a lifetime through good and bad times. Of course, it is easier said than done, as we can see from the increasing divorce rates. Marriage is not the end of our love/ learning journey for our spouse, instead we should continue to learn and understand and love them so that our relationship will be a positive one, not one that is built on negative remarks or degrading treatment of each other. We all want acceptance from our loved ones at the end of the day. What you see in your marriage now is the result of what you put in your marriage previously. But its never too late to change. May God bless you and give you peace.

If you are a Christian you might want to to find out more about this movie called "Fireproof my marriage" at any christian bookstores. The bookshop should also sell a book titled "Love dare" it contains a program that last for 40days. It is a material for married couples to improve their relationship/ repair broken relationships. Hope this helps. :)
http://fireproofmymarriage.com/
 
Hi power, i still love hubby even being cheated 3 times over the same 3rd pty. i told hubby i hve no courage to let him go or ask him to. i have been living in the dark everyday, not knowing wat he does or where he goes or wats happening....till recently about 3 weeks ago, hubby said suddenly 1 2 be wif me but give him time n claim no more wif 3rd pty. i m so glad but cos hs refused intimacy, refused to put on wedding ring, refused to go holiday, hide his car key & hp.......1 m confused n fearful. confused y he said 1 2 be together but still kept everything to himself, fearful this is just another lie waiting to be exposed!!! but i dun 1 2 chase him away with my own hands if this is gonna be true. on the other hand, i cannot imagine going thru another betrayal! he often answer me wif "nothing much", "like that lor", "ok", we 'll try"......i can never get him to open up. thats y i post this thread to try to understand from other people.
 

powder

Active Member
chilli,

he has already closed his door on u as a partner. it's obvious that he's withdrawn from u and not letting u partake in his life other than the current role of the mother of his children.

he's with another girl now, the thing is - if he makes love to her 10 times, does that mean he cheated on u 10 times? the equation doesn't go that way, he's emotionally involved with another girl and even if she's not there i dun think u'd have a chance of gaining any entry.

cheating on u is if he goes visit prostitutes and has casual sex all over the place, but if it's with one person, i dun find it admissible as cheating, but rather - he's having an affair.

at this point of time, it's still gonna be u, u, and u. trying to make him part of a lost equation will only make things worse... if u wanna repair things, then u have to woo him back, but if that's not happening - u've gotta decide if u're ok with having a husband but not being a couple who will hold hands and grow old together. it's like having a house but not a home... some pple are fine with it, some are not.

if he sleeps with the girl again, it's not "going thru another betrayal"... it;s technically the same person and the same affair.

at the start of the thread u were challenging basis "Who's better" or "Who's a better choice". pls dun succumb to forum pressure to be politically correct, just say what u feel from the innermost and the extent of your anger/hatred etc... your post doesn't sound desperate for the marriage to work, but for the husband to simply stay and let u apply your remedial actions...

Unless u get a chance with the doors Open, there's not much point desperately trying to rationalise why he should stay. what's most crucial now is to get the door open, and getting it open isn;t thru rationalising, comparing, expecting merits for past efforts... the world doesn't work that way even if we want it to. it simply doesn't...

since u think u can't get him to open up, then watever u do now remains futile and u're just scoring brownie points like a boss desperately trying to convince his employee to stay. some bosses think it's abt the pay... some will ask what's so good abt the other company... end of the day it's all the WRONG questions and focus...

It's not what will make your husband stay, but rather - what will make him not wanna leave u and love u all over again.

but i'll be honest, emotionally he has left. it is evident becos he doesn't feel any guilt nor need to feel guilt having another girl... whilst u're here saying u can't go thru another betrayal... You're on the wrong page.
 

powder

Active Member
thing to note...

alot of pple in spore, who underwent the spore education system, have poor ability in problem-solving when it comes to a 2-party thingie... if it's something that stays constant - no problem, we excel. but dealing with everchanging environment - we excel at Appealing... and that's what u're doing now - appealing.

jobs we appeal and question foreign workers...
HDBs we appeal, Summons we appeal, Studies we appeal, Getting into schools we appeal...

in the first place why dun we just Anticipate and work harder for the results? instead of taking things for granted for a large part then Appeal...

i can pretty much assure u that nothing u try can work, until u search yourself and change your approach from Mindset, not be rationale nor right&wrongs.
 
Power, u really make me open my eyes & understand now is not "CHEATING" anymore. Can u help me again! U make me realise n understand all his behaviour now. [HIS DOOR IS CLOSED TO ME AS A PARTNER] thats y he have all his mails to another address, never help me financially since late last year due to economic crisis, not able to say loving things or share intimacy nor go holidays& so much more.....cos for the past 9yrs, we have really grown so far apart & i m too engrossed in my work & kids to realise it. The bell only rang when the affair was discovered.

Power, i have discovered the affair for coming to a year. Discovered he still wif the woman even he denied 3 times. After i slapped the woman, he mention separation the 1st time in April. But he stayed after giving in to my plea.From April to May, he mentioned it twice again, saying problem doesnt lies wif me but him cos he has no more feelings. Said he believe i have really change but is too late as feelings r gone. I just beg him not to leave n wil agree to let him see the woman n he kept quiet from there. 2 weeks ago, i told him i cant live on like this cos love is selfish & possessive. Its unbearable to imagine wat he doing outside with the woman. he soften and said he 1 2 be wif me but give him time. From then he do simple hug n light kissess, come home more ofen (as in earlier) n stay at home longer. he promised to transfer the mails back but have yet to see it in the letter box.....

however i still have doubt &.......

Power, should i give him the benefit of trust?? the past 11 months 1 have lived in hell cos i cannot get over. When i finally stopped crying on a daily, start to eat my meals n talk to my kids again n thought i have to move on, he said 1 2 be wif me but give him time.... of cos i am happy to have a complete family, more impt i still love him cos deep down in my heart, i blame my unreasonable behaviour that drove him to the woman. I have not done my job well. but i really dun 1 2 visit "hell" again!!! i may not survive this time.

Can me.....teach me.....enlighten me......
 

powder

Active Member
hi chilli,

what makes u think u dun have the strength to live without him? other than him being a hard habit to break, u have to ask yourself if u're just losing a housemate or are u really in love with him that u wanna spend the rest of your life with him? in your competitive nature, could it be possible that u just dun wanna lose him to another girl?

many years ago when my gfren was out with another guy on a trip, it was unbearable so i 'm not gonna make light of your feelings... but what made me get over it is that everything i have done and not done, led her to make a decision to go on that trip. i really felt angry at that point, but it soon gave way to Realization - that her heart is no longer with me, else even the little things i do would move her...

Life is such... if a person loves u, even buying breakfast for them touches them... if the person no longer loves u, moving mountains is gonna make them feel that u're being pathetic and trying too hard, or even making them go on a guilt trip.

i hope he still see glimpses of u trying, yet i think it'll take much more for u to move him than any other person in this world right now... call it contempt, call it years of builtup dissatisfaction... what must u do to change things and win back his heart? and when should u stop trying?

i'll be honest - u're holding him too much to his 'promises' that it's driving him away again. u might be trying to keep your end of the bargain, but u're harping on some events when u should just be quiet and go into self-reflection... he is Not right to be wrong, but u are not right to be right either... The world does not function on right and wrong - sporeans function on right and wrong, our education system makes us function on right and wrong, success and failure. perhaps it's inherent and conditioned in us....

u are living in hell becos u hold on to his words but not to his tone... u hear the words but u do not listen to the explantion... u talk rationale but not speak your heart... u're beating yourself up becos u feel that u're a failure in some aspects of this whole episode.

be kind to yourself, u could have changed things Now, but u might not have changed things Then... u are who u are and u will be who u'll be. If u could give yourself advice on what to do now, what would u tell yourself? that would be the conversation u need to begin with... the conversation u owe with yourself.

i had a good conversation with myself that nite and felt lighter... being lighter made me more attractive. u're too heavy now... lose some of that weight off your mind first, lose some of that intensity and fear... pple often win becos they are not afraid to lose, and not becos they are afraid to lose... Your fear of losing him makes u more likely to lose him...
 

powder

Active Member
i dun really wanna post future things now, cos it's supposed to be the next step after u've had a series of conversation with yourself... so let me just say that it's not entirely hopeless, the chances are low but it's likely to increase once u've gotten honest with your life.

remember that nobody hurts from your story more than u, and nobody gets happier from your encounters more than u... so pls, dun be bothered abt what colleagues, frens, family, forummers think. u should care more for your own happiness than to please pple. u're not at that stage yet...

why u need to be at that stage is becos your husband is already at that stage... u dun see what he sees, even though u might think he doesn't see what u see...

pple can say all they want, but your husband has gone beyond Society's views of what's right/what's wrong to find His Happiness... 90% of the forummers here are still finding their perceived happiness living by society's rules of right/wrongs... as for u, u're in the middle but closer to the 90%... once u've crossed over, u will know what i mean.

He's happy with that lady, he's not feeling guilty, the only negative feel is probably regret towards u and kids... REGRETS, NOT GUILT. regrets means he knows what he wants to do, and he will regrettably do it against all of society's Idea that it's Wrong... becos he feels RIght in doing so... it comes from within, it comes from the spirit, ungoverned by laws and education.

this is perhaps the best i can do to help u crossover...

as u can see, 90% of pple will be hung up on the meaning of marriage, talk abt wedding vows, talk abt true love, talk abt how pple can change... That's society talking, that's education talking... it is totally devoid of the Human Soul, devoid of the Pursuit of Happiness. it's just obedience talking... if u're there, u can never understand nor solve the problem...
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
There is something I don't understand, that why you can take your spouse for granted for a number of years without realising that you are well on the road of losing you spouse. Then all of a sudden you realise that you still love your spouse when a third party is involved or when your spouse throws in the towel on the marriage. After years of neglect, do you think your spouse would dare hope that you still love him/her or simply because you can't afford to lose what you have?
 
thanks Powder, u open me up to another world but i have yet to fully comprehend. cos i am probably too "shallow"....

Hi Doll, i have been working almost 7 days a week for 7years as i m in retail line. i place cust more impt than family....when i come back from work at night, i teach my kids spelling, revise with them homework with my uniform on, dinner not taken...... i change job 2 years ago, same industry, but this time i learnt to let go cos i m comfortable with wat i have achieve financially. then i start to realise i have miss out on family bonding n marriage! but it seems too late. I m grateful hubby is not heartless to walk away, like wat powder said, his door is closed to me as a partner, i hust hope now i can fully understand n able to pass thru the current state of my negative mind. And hope there will be rainbow at the end of the road.
 

powder

Active Member
it takes time so dun beat yourself over it... may be hard to find time but u might like to pick up a book on Life, and maybe Death... understanding living and dying can unlock the spirits in us, and make what "Was" important - Was and no longer an "Is".

it's really really not easy to break out of society's expectations of us, and Not Need society's approval for the things we do... of cos that does not mean we turn rebels... there are values which we align with society, and there are those we really shouldn't. the way i see it, u are already quite capable of certain things, so this should not be a toughie...

no i dun think u're shallow, just caught up for now...
 

serene_yam

New Member
Hi Chilli padi, would u like to PM me? I'm facing similar situation like urs, and I hope we can see how we can move on in our lives....thank you.
 

wjchiang

Member
chilli padi,

i've been clapping my feet since reading powder's posts from Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 10:57 am onwards (no, i'm not mad, nor handicapped, but as u can see, my hands are occupied since my fingers are busy typing on this thread). Agree with Powder, his opinions are indeed "yi zhen jian xue" (one needle see blood).

Stop rationalizing, reasoning, comparing and searching for answers to the wrong questions. Start focusing on what you need, what you want, what u can have and what way to to best achieve it. Learn to be emotionally independent, sometimes it's ourselves and not the events/people that we tend to blame that put us on emotional rollercoasters. Stop having expectations, powder is probably right in saying that u're holding him too much to his promises. When he fails to keep his promise, u feel angry and let down becoz your expectations are not adequately met. That is, however, the wrong focus.

don't beat yourself up just because it seems like u're in a "despearte" state now. I believe u're not shallow since u're willing to open up to others' not-so-pleasant-to-the-ears opinions and really trying to reflect on them. U're capable of seeing and admitting your own mistakes so give yourself some credit for that. "I m grateful hubby is not heartless to walk away" - at least u know how to be grateful even in a situation like this and that's a beautiful quality. U're financially independent and i assume u're rather capable and doing quite well at work, u're a good mum who tend to your kids even before taking off your uniform when u get home...see? there are many good things in u to keep u moving on in life, with or without him, so don't feel so hopeless.

"I m confused n fearful. confused y he said 1 2 be together but still kept everything to himself, fearful this is just another lie waiting to be exposed!!!" -
U're in a state of being "fearful of losing, but also fearful of losing out". Let me give u an analogy:
U buy a share on the stock market, u're afraid if u sell it, it goes shooting right up in price after ("but i dun 1 2 chase him away with my own hands if this is gonna be true.") but u're also afraid that if u don't, u might lose money ("on the other hand, i cannot imagine going thru another betrayal!")
Hanging on to anything with so much fear and hesitation will only likely cause u to do all the wrong things, make all the wrong decisions at the wrong time. If u wish to give the marriage a chance and try to work things out, perhaps u should first learn to let go of some of that fear - i'm not saying it's not justified, but it doesn't help in any way. Suggest u revisit the few posts that powder has made. The first second third time u read it, u may understand it only superficially, the 4th 5th 6th, u may appreciate a little more, perhaps by the 10th time, u'll start to have a grip on the context and not focus on the details of it....I wish u all the best, take care
 

shirleypoise

New Member
He has waited for a long 9 years for you to love him. Just think, he has suffer 8x more than you did! Think just by gg soft on him now it's gonna make him turn ard, forget abt what u did and love you all over again? It's not a v fair equation, if you ask me.

Esp so when you are so un-confident about yourself n not trusting him, and otoh the gal that he's seeing is prob saying to him "do what you want, I'll be here when you need me"... What guy wouldn't run away from you?

I totally agree with powder that you have to woo him back again. Not as a wife to a husband, but as a girl to a guy. Be the mistress instead.
Forget that you were ever married and go after him again.

But you do have to understand that he can still decide not to love you, ever again. When that happens, respect that.
 
Hi Wjchiang, I have been reading Powder's post again & again & again to constantly remind myself when doubts crept in. It is really not easy but we r still together. Powder seems to be real right on where my i stand in this marriage n what is going thru hubby's mind. Just tat it takes lots of positive mind to accept till now hubby still wont initiate or welcome intimacy, go on short trips etc etc. All the NO NO NO and NO is drying me up. We r still together, he claim he no longer wif mistress......we have just sold our place. Shifting to a new place in OCt to try to have a new start. The house we just sold is bought by me, choose by me...........i told him the next house we gonna choose together, do it together....It will be the first "project" we doing it together officially after 10 years of marriage. Hope it will help to bring us together.

Thanks for all your positive encouragement, esp Powder & Wjchiang, breaKingfRee too!

Btw Serene, I have responsed to u. But I hope u r not the mistress who find this story familiar & trying to do wat i dun know. If u r not, lets talk n encourage n motivate each other oki
happy.gif
 

powder

Active Member
i think changing homes is a good move... i was just pondering after u've posted, and i think it's a good move, dun know why though... it's just one of those things that feels Right.

reno the home comfy, tell your designer u want it to be a place that your husband wants to return home to, and really chill out, read a magazine and listen to soft music... i hope things go well for u, but never forget to appreciate his returning home... avoid questioning his moves and instead make him feel great everytime he comes home... it could sometimes mean just turning on his pc for him to load up, and preparing his afterbath clothes and saying nothing... all these little actions are quietly appreciated... (it's not a formula, just an example).

take good care and dun be too harsh on yourself if u know u've done your best.
 

wjchiang

Member
chili padi, u're welcome.

being intimate doesn't mean too much sometimes, if he's not ready for it, let him be and give him some space. I understand that the feeling of rejection probably sucks, but u don't have to put so much emphasis on that. Afterall, u didn't treat him all that well for years, can't expect him to just put all negative feelings behind at the snap of your fingers right? What is "intimacy" to u? ever thought about a pat on the shoulder/head/hand showing encouragement and appreciation, a look with loving and smiling eyes or a praise on how good he looks when playing with your children happily can be more "intimate" between husband and wife?

u were hoping for a chance and it seems u've got that now, make the best of it and make life happy for both him and you. The annoying and disappointing "no, no, no, no, no"s could be around to stay for longer than u'd like, but slowly lah, everything takes time. Too much time to think then think about how to renovate the new place loh....Jia1 You2
happy.gif
 

shirleypoise

New Member
We always think that things will b alrite once we become intimate. But I've learnt that if they dun want to be intimate there's no way we can make them..

Rather than focusing on getting the initimacy n getting nowhere, but keep getting rejected, turn your focus to b a better person for yourself n ur kid.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
I think you need to give your husband more time to believe in love and that you love him, again. Be patient, you guys might fall in love all over again.
 

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