As of current case, it has already been expressed and acknowledged from parties that the weightage of responsibility is there.
I still maintain that for marriage to succeed, there is responsibility in both party. Responsibility to exist and grow together, identify the common goal, and assist each other towards it.
True on cases where character traits stray a person. However, I would not consider the other party as a so called "victim". The party is responsible for his/her life and future and the role he/she has in this marriage other than crying victim and just pointing the gun and feed themselves with the purpose to go on. End of the day, he/she agreed to married the other party?
However the choice the TS has made, she carries the responsibility to it. To herself, and to the family. She has to know that this is her responsibility to the marriage. I rather not the TS crying fault at what but work on her end to at least secure the future that she wants.
"Let us not forget the individualistic pleasures that the society of today encourages us to indulge in"
I would brand this mentality being stem more from the school of this thought, "it's not mine but other's fault"
In much scenarios apart from marriage, we have too many individuals seek reddress rather than reflecting on themselves, their approach and actions. When problem brews, first thought would be caused by all factors before looking at self.
If I have a straying spouse, first thoughts to me would be, had I fulfill my role? If I did, I still have the responsibility of choosing to marry the person. I take it in stride and carry on my responsibility to myself. That, is the responsibility I am speaking about. Rather than "YOU SCREWED MY LIFE!" and rot on it. Because it's my life, I have to answer to myself.
Before you make decision on such, I would advise you to relook into your reccomendation to your husband. Is the suggestion healthy? Isn;t there better alternative or solution? This is what you want in salvaging the marriage? You are actually giving him the approval to go ahead with the ordeal which you can't bear by accomodating the third party in your initial suggestion.
You need to communicate with him and come down with a resolution on the situation of you both.
Ask yourself are you willing to take him back with a fresh new chance to start everything all over again and if you would wish to make the effort to rebuild this family. You have to be true to yourself. If not wise, like I mentioned earlier you do have your responsibility towards yourself, and your children. The happiness that you deserves.