Sorry this gonna be a lengthy post. I have been with my bf for close to 4 years now and we were even in talks of getting a resale flat, talking about our future etc. Last yr we had a long 2 wks holiday together in october. After coming back to sg for about 1 wk, he went to bkk with his buddy again. Previously i insisted on joining him but he keeps pushing me away saying he's just over there to return his wishes at a temple (还愿) and i have other things to do so i cannot go. We had quarrels over this a few times but eventually i tried to, like he said, give him my trust as he is just going there for holiday and rest.
Okay here's the part, i felt uneasy and i probed into his facebook messenger. I did it a few times last time. I know it's wrong of me but i did it out of curiousity as he chats with girl colleagues quite often. So on the 2nd night of him there, there were notifications of him with another friend so i went to open it. As i read thru the convo it started to get worse and worse. His friend asked him where he went last night and he said soapy massage and soi cowboy (red district). Soapy massage was a foreign term to me so i went to google it, it was a kind of massage whereby prostitutes would glide over the clients' body with soap, which eventually 100% leads to sex. I immediately messaged him and asked he went to get any girls (didn't tell him i saw his fb). He flared up and said why dun i trust him. Said i ruined his holiday even when we are apart and somwthing like "yeah yeah every night 3-4 girls". Seeing how confident ans angry he is, i thought maybe it didnt went to the stage i thought, so i apologised to him for doubting him.
So fast forward this to jan 2017, just when i thought its over, i went into his fb again. I saw a convo with the same friend 2 wks ago and they were talking about thai girls. My bf sent a pic to his friend asking "chio bo?" "Paid 2000baht"
Then i lost it. Throughout the whole 3 years+ i had times where i felt insecure and suspicious of him, but he would sometimes get angry or try to soothe me. I had told him in our quarrel in his 2nd night in bkk, that if he had done anything, if he confessed to him i would try to forgive him. If i found out he had done anything, i would definitely break up with him. I just cannot believe how he could lie his way through all this time and i didnt discover anything.
His family is very good to me and we had so much memories together. I really want to keep this relationship but i dont know how to now i knew about his lies.
Q: How should i approach him about this issue? How could i tell him i found out telling him i probed into his fb? (I know he definitely would hold it against me for hacking into his fb)
Dilemma.. help!!
Okay here's the part, i felt uneasy and i probed into his facebook messenger. I did it a few times last time. I know it's wrong of me but i did it out of curiousity as he chats with girl colleagues quite often. So on the 2nd night of him there, there were notifications of him with another friend so i went to open it. As i read thru the convo it started to get worse and worse. His friend asked him where he went last night and he said soapy massage and soi cowboy (red district). Soapy massage was a foreign term to me so i went to google it, it was a kind of massage whereby prostitutes would glide over the clients' body with soap, which eventually 100% leads to sex. I immediately messaged him and asked he went to get any girls (didn't tell him i saw his fb). He flared up and said why dun i trust him. Said i ruined his holiday even when we are apart and somwthing like "yeah yeah every night 3-4 girls". Seeing how confident ans angry he is, i thought maybe it didnt went to the stage i thought, so i apologised to him for doubting him.
So fast forward this to jan 2017, just when i thought its over, i went into his fb again. I saw a convo with the same friend 2 wks ago and they were talking about thai girls. My bf sent a pic to his friend asking "chio bo?" "Paid 2000baht"
Then i lost it. Throughout the whole 3 years+ i had times where i felt insecure and suspicious of him, but he would sometimes get angry or try to soothe me. I had told him in our quarrel in his 2nd night in bkk, that if he had done anything, if he confessed to him i would try to forgive him. If i found out he had done anything, i would definitely break up with him. I just cannot believe how he could lie his way through all this time and i didnt discover anything.
His family is very good to me and we had so much memories together. I really want to keep this relationship but i dont know how to now i knew about his lies.
Q: How should i approach him about this issue? How could i tell him i found out telling him i probed into his fb? (I know he definitely would hold it against me for hacking into his fb)
Dilemma.. help!!
