Priority in relationship

[pinkfairy08]

Hi all,

Want to hear your opinions on this. If my partner mentioned that i am his prioirity and when i asked him to accompany me let say on a day for some event and he said yea but nearer to date when i asked whether he could make it (as in reconfirm the timing), he said he got to check with his dad as he need to fetch his dad to somewhere blah blah.. so most likely cant accompany me in morning .

My principles is if is something not urgent and if i am the one asking first, shouldnt he be letting his dad know and see if can find ways to suit both etc, but he chilled and said that since i ask if he want to accompany me, he said he has the right to say yes or no since i give him the choice. But question is i already asked him if he ok to acc me for some event on a specific day and he did not say he cant make it.


He even mentioned his prioirity and my definition of priority is different and we are not align. Isn"t priority about respecting and puting the person first? There is no principles in his basis. Well i can be wrong thats why want to hear your humble views.

 

[Lilly1232]

Hi

In my view it would also have to depend on the situation.

I am my partner’s main priority however I know that in the event his mum called and needed help then whatever we might have planned would need to be changed. This of course depends on what his mum needs.

Did you speak to your partner about why he needed to fetch his dad? Was he the only person who could have done it? If the answer is yes then you need to give and take.

We are all our partners main priority but we need to know that sometimes something might come up that will involve changing of plans and a bit of give and take

 

[pinkfairy08]

Hi

In my view it would also have to depend on the situation.

I am my partner’s main priority however I know that in the event his mum called and needed help then whatever we might have planned would need to be changed. This of course depends on what his mum needs.

Did you speak to your partner about why he needed to fetch his dad? Was he the only person who could have done it? If the answer is yes then you need to give and take.

We are all our partners main priority but we need to know that sometimes something might come up that will involve changing of plans and a bit of give and take

Thanks for your reply actually is just to have lunch with his brother in law his dad and nephew. I did talk to him, he denied that thought my event is in afternoon and chilled me for being not understanding as in whats wrong with only going with me in afternoon. That upsets me alot as i am the bad person and he can run away from it.

 

[miloice]

Hi all,

Want to hear your opinions on this. If my partner mentioned that i am his prioirity and when i asked him to accompany me let say on a day for some event and he said yea but nearer to date when i asked whether he could make it (as in reconfirm the timing), he said he got to check with his dad as he need to fetch his dad to somewhere blah blah.. so most likely cant accompany me in morning .

My principles is if is something not urgent and if i am the one asking first, shouldnt he be letting his dad know and see if can find ways to suit both etc, but he chilled and said that since i ask if he want to accompany me, he said he has the right to say yes or no since i give him the choice. But question is i already asked him if he ok to acc me for some event on a specific day and he did not say he cant make it.


He even mentioned his prioirity and my definition of priority is different and we are not align. Isn"t priority about respecting and puting the person first? There is no principles in his basis. Well i can be wrong thats why want to hear your humble views.

Hi, if the event is important to you, remind him. People don't just remember dates. If it is impt, request that he set it in his calendar with reminders. That's what I do, because I know I will forget. It has nothing to do with priority, its about self discipline to put in place a way to ensure we do not forget. Setting up good practice is necessary to respect schedules and appointments.

 

[miloice]

Here is an example.....
A very tragic but very real and common thing that could happen to anyone.

To almost all parents, we cherish our kids more than our lives. Yet, you will always read about parents forgetting and left by accident their sitting child in the backseat.

It almost happened to me as well. My son had to be brought to infant care after MIL fell and fractured her hip. So, helper was fulltime caring for her. It was a infant care near my office. On one of the stressful day, the traffic was so bad, I made several detours and finally reaching office with my mind on all the tasks I must complete within the day. I parked at my office feeling strange, as if i had overlooked something. It kept bothering me but i couldn't figure what. The discomfort made me stop my way up and really think hard. Then, I realised, my baby son was still in the backseat.

People will forget even the most impt things in life. Grooms have forgotten to bring the rings on wedding day, my wife had accidentally disposed entire bag of family jewels that were taken out of the safe deposit. The only solution to avoid this, is not question how important or much a priority it is. Rather, take the necessary precaution to ensure systematically, we minimize the risk. Since that incident, I place my office bag beside my son. So, I will never forget to grab the bag and see him there.

 

[Derfaith]

Hi all,

Want to hear your opinions on this. If my partner mentioned that i am his prioirity and when i asked him to accompany me let say on a day for some event and he said yea but nearer to date when i asked whether he could make it (as in reconfirm the timing), he said he got to check with his dad as he need to fetch his dad to somewhere blah blah.. so most likely cant accompany me in morning .

My principles is if is something not urgent and if i am the one asking first, shouldnt he be letting his dad know and see if can find ways to suit both etc, but he chilled and said that since i ask if he want to accompany me, he said he has the right to say yes or no since i give him the choice. But question is i already asked him if he ok to acc me for some event on a specific day and he did not say he cant make it.


He even mentioned his prioirity and my definition of priority is different and we are not align. Isn"t priority about respecting and puting the person first? There is no principles in his basis. Well i can be wrong thats why want to hear your humble views.

My HTB and I used to have similar issues of him forgetting dates and having me getting upset with him for last min surprises.

So I did what most office people do. Send calendar invites. I synced his g-cal to his calendar on his phone, then I would send calendar invite and track if he accepted it.

Haha, so far so good. No excuse that I did not remind him, he’s an adult. Should always be responsible for his own calendar. I’m his WTB, not his PA.