Premarital check up???

[izzit]

my dear suggest that we shld go for premarital checkup. According to him, tis is one of the checklist. But the problem is, he has not yet confirmed the details of our marriage.

sorry to say but i kind of felt insulted and interpret it as "so if there is anything wrong wif me, and the wedding is off izzit?"

What do you ladies think abt tis?

 

[mrslim80]

Hi dawn,
I don't think he meant anything wrong with you or anything. Some checks are to see whether there would be any complications for giving birth due to blood or whatever. I don't really know how to explain but two of you should go together.

 

[arsenal_84]

from another pov, if there is anything wrong with him, is not too late to dump him.

 

[denise80]

Checklist is one thing...is this indicative of his 'calculative' (negative trait) nature or is he just being 'meticulous' (positive trait)?

Have you told him how you feel? Did he explain why this is very important? To some people, having babies ranks high in a marriage when it comes to setting up a family and indeed, it does matter. It rules out any HIV diseases also (maybe this is the part you're not happy abt?). There are many things in life you two will go through in a marriage. This is another phase which you'll learn even more about one another...not necessarily the 'ugly' but rather, the reality.

Instead of asking ppl here, I suggest that you speak to him. It's of no point for us to tell you how we feel. If you feel insulted, then ask him nicely why it's an important item on his checklist. Then should you feel insulted still, tell him how you feel. If both of you are considering marriage, there needs to be such open channels of communication and not leave to 'guess work'.

 

[nameless83]

it is important to check some blood traits that both partners possess..one common inherited trait is thalessemia..heard that there are many of us who are thalessemia minor, so if your partner is also minor, there is a risk of 25% having a kid which is thalessemia major. And this kid will suffer the disease which likely requires blood transfusion in his/her lifetime and shorter lifespan.

For those who wants to read up more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalassemia

I am thalessemia minor myself. Luckily I asked my partner and she did blood test b4 and confirmed she is not. Else big problem to face in future.

 

[tomasulu]

I never want to know what I can't do anything about. If its something serious I don't wanna know. Otherwise, I don't need to know. And you shouldn't need a blood test to be sure of the one you're marrying. IMO you should be more concerned you can't raise your concerns with him or can't agree on something this minor.

 

[arsenal_84]

some couples actually go for blood test before they have sex...no one can be 100% sure the other party is not inflected.
even he/she has a small amount of partners, safety policy still applies.

think with the logical brain, not from the heart.

 

[izzit]

-_-"

sigh.... we've a good talk.... and decided to go through together tis premarital checkup...

but deep within me, can't help still feeling stress up, insecure and upset @.@

what if the result is not he want to see? will he still keep his promise and the wedding goes on?
or we've buried ourselves another time-bomb?
-_-"

*stressed*

 

[izzit]

dear all,

sincerely appreciate for all the remarks given, thanks

 

[denise80]

Izzit, better to stress now than later.

 

[cococherry]

he's real pratical person. if he calls off the wedding after knowing you have an illness , hope he won't leave you one day when you fall sick?

 

[scopefun]

You already doubt him...

Are you sure you love him?

It doesn't matter if he loves you or not... but you should think again. Because after marriage, you'd face more of such issues living together.

Sorry to say... Face it. LOL~

 

[luvoink]

Hi Izzit, just some suggestions to start with.. You can casually bring up your concerns to him and see what his response is. On another note, you can treat this as a normal checkup to better understand your health condition too?