Pregnant 1 year before wedding?

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happycake

Member
Hi all,

I have already gone through my ROM and my customary is in Dec 2009 (just booked the banquet only!).

However I suspect I am pregnant. I have not checked yet though. I intend to wait till another month to see if I miss it again. Currently I do not have any other symptoms of pregnancy except for a missed period.

I am not worried or anything but if I really am pregnant, should I give birth then proceed with my wedding or bring my wedding forward? I am in a dilemma cos if I am pregnant now, most prob will give birth in July or Aug 09. Then need to faster tone down within a 4-5 months for the wedding.

If bring forward things will be very rushed now. Although I have already ROMed but this still sounds like a shotgun marriage. My family members are rather traditional, that's why. Sigh..
 


S

simpleman

Active Member
Firstly, please go see a doctor and have your pregnancy confirmed. Don't wait for another miss period.

Actually the most important thing is whether both you and your hb are happy and prepared for this baby.

Having a baby is a good thing and if you two are prepared, it should be joy rather than trouble.

talk to your family. You already ROM so you are married legally and everyone should be happy if you are pregnant.

My thought is that when you have your wedding is probably not very important. YOu could move it forward or it could be in Dec 2009.
 
S

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Minimally you should find out if you are pregnant first because the earlier you know the more time you have to react and act. Please get a home pregnancy test kit tomorrow at the pharmacy.
 
C

cuclainne

New Member
happycake, you don't have to wait for another month to confirm the pregnancy .. like doll said, please buy a test kit or go to a doctor.

i was 7 weeks' pregnant when i had my AD. but since i had already ROM, no one bat an eyelid .. in fact my aunts even pampered me when i had my cravings. i just hoped that my morning sickness would stay away and it did!
 
V

vallous

New Member
like all said..just go to a doctor to confirm. As for the wedding dinner, it is not a problem nowadays. Some still go through the wedding even though they are in their pregnant state at 6 months or 7 months.

But as a word of caution for those who already ROM and not yet customary..this is an issue to think abt. If you do not want to foil your AD and look best..take precautions.Also preparing for marriage is already quite a hassle..having a baby all at once..can be a struggle. Be careful.

It is rather common to get preggie before customary..for some really traditional parents or in laws or even relatives..its no doubt that they think you have a shotgun. But tat differs from families to families..

like sm said..as long as both of you are happy at the new arrival..then just be happy with it.
 
S

simpleman

Active Member
Even your traditional family.. yes, they may not feel very good cos they think like "shotgun" but after a while the reality will set in.. and they will be happy for you.

Actually it is important to have protection against pregnancy .. not only from your ROM to customary.. but even after that as sometimes you may not be ready for a baby.
 
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findingnemo

New Member
Happycake, congratulations!

If you want to bring it forward, it has to be pretty soon before you show. But preparing a wedding can be very overwhelming. If you have morning sickness, can you cope with it while having to juggle wedding preparations as well?

Or as you said, have your customary after you deliver. In that case, you can "take your time".

When to have the customary is not so important. More important for you to enjoy your pregnancy. Take good care of yourself and prepare for the big D (Delivery) Day!
 
P

pasir_ris_beach

Member
happycake

Wow, so good to hv a double joy, u c.
My youngest sis just got ROMed yesterday and she told me she is now trying for a baby now. Although her planned A.D may be a year or two years away, she still insists on trying for a baby. She is more eager than u in trying for a baby before her planned A.D, i m looking forward to be a aunty than receiving tea from her. hee hee

Hope everything goes smoothly for u no matter the result of your pregnancy test hor. and i agree with u there, do enjoy your pregnancy.
 
H

happycake

Member
hi all, thanks for the advice.
Actually, I have been trying for baby after I ROMed. My initial plan was that if I get pregnant, I will not hold banquet and use the money for my baby instead, since I already had a nice ROM celebration. Just wanted to let things go naturally. But after quite sometime there was no news. So we went to book our banquet last mth. After that I did take precautions. If I am pregnant it might have took place before I booked the banquet. I will get it checked tonight. Have or dont have, I'm fine with it. Feeling very excited though...
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
Yes, Happycake, just run a pregnancy check as soon as possible, but perhaps you should do it with your first morning urine (it contains a higher concentration of the hormone secreted during pregnancy) as it would give a reliable accurate reading.
 
F

freeesia

New Member
happycake, don't worry so much. however traditional a family is, having a baby is really a joy for all! somemore you and you hubby officially husband and wife already, this is double joy! i'm sure your parents and in-laws will be happy too. never heard of parents or in-laws want to delay newly-wed couple having babies. can't help feeling bit excited for you also.
happy.gif
 
H

happycake

Member
hi blur, the result is negative. Anyway, this certainly clears all doubts. Gd also, now i do not have to worry about being fat on AD. haha
 
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fairlady95

New Member
Hi Happycake,

I've just read thru your thread... i'm facing the same problem as what you are having earlier on. My result is positive. I don't wish to keep the baby...
 
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powderful07

New Member
I'm afraid of heights...so I won't go bungee jumping...

But if I were to forced to go bungee jumping; I'll make sure the cord is tightly secured and that all safety precautions were taken....

The last thing I want is to jump off and then realised I wasn't tied up properly
 
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fairlady95

New Member
Hi Powerderful,

I believe you are trying to tell me that i shld have take precaution isit?

Well, that's too late... even though i've ROM... i still feel that in parent's point of view, we are not yet officially married. so what we are legally married?

the only way out is either bring forward the wedding or .....
 
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powderful07

New Member
The moral of the story is...

If you're afraid of something that will happen; Don't Do It.

If you still wanna do it; Take Precaution.

Lat, get it?

And to be honest, I find it horrifying that she's thinking of aborting the baby just cos she wants to look nice and slim for her photo shoot and her wedding dinner...I'm feeling really sorry for those couples who tried countless times to have babies but failed...

I have some opinions on what she should do; but I'll like to hear what she have to say first.
 
S

saggitarian

New Member
powderful . i think u use the wrong analogy .

even you make sure the cord is tightly secured and that all safety precautions were taken....

think there will be a queue of members here with scissors waiting to cut it after you jump hahaa
 
L

latino

New Member
hahaha ok, i got it now. initially i thot you posted on wrong thread... hahah

eh, remember to be nice at this thread hor or else you are going to break some fragile hearts... tsk tsk tsk :p
 
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powderful07

New Member
Wendy.

So in your opinion; your parent's POV is more important than a life?
Have you EVEN checked with your parents yet?

Anyway, I never understand WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL about a wedding dinner!
Does it mean that WITHOUT IT, you're not married OFFICIALLY? What about people who can't afford to have a wedding dinner? Are they any less married than those who have? What sort of logic is THAT?

Wendy...or what? Abort the baby? Just say it out...don't dilly dally on such an important issue.
 
J

janie_wawa

New Member
so its like although u wore a condomn...who noes some1 use a needle to poke holes in it rite?

er....watched too much tv liao....
 
P

powderful07

New Member
qwerty...
Idiot...you hate me rite :p

Anyway, my point is that ...take all precautions; dont complain later when things turn out bad...

And of cos, there are elements where it's out of control...like scissors on the bungee platform...
 
S

saggitarian

New Member
kk . i will be nice in every thread .. -__-|||

latino .. before i register for this forum . i was thinking that the age group of ppl talking in here should make some sense.. cos they have at least eaten 20 years of salt before they will type singaporebrides.com in their IE but ...

Dear wendy ..

seems like at least you only have the tot flashing across only as you dun even dare to type it out in words..

i will not blame you for not supporting durex company in the midst of economic crisis..since what done is done ..

but .. you have type too few words to let me understand you more .. so can you dun mind .. reply . . by giving me a percentage weightage of what option you have come up with before i ans you in one hour ? :p
 
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powderful07

New Member
qwerty...

Exactly. She's thinking about it; but she don't dare to voice it out.

It's this kinda head in the sand attitude that she needs to change now...only then can people help her deal with the situation...
 
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powderful07

New Member
qwerty,

No need to be nice for no apparent reason lah.
If someone's behaving like a moron, just tell them that...Why do we even need to be so politically correct everytime?

And hor...Wisdom does not necessary comes with Age...
It's Life Experience and WHAT you been through in life (not protected lifestyle!) that molds your life experience and your wisdom...

And also...Intellect is NOT EQUAL to Wisdom...
There are plenty of people who have studied degrees, double degrees or even MBAs...but their views on life and their POV are still stuck at the infant stage....
 
L

latino

New Member
qwerty, generally the ppl here are ok la. ppl are deemed to be mean cos there will always be disagreements and misunderstandings.

you think powder, milo, sm and powderful agree with each other all the time??? no. they argue like mad, then each bring out their facts. at the end of the day, each agrees to disagree. i am usually the bystander, and i learn from each of them. it's always enriching to read of diff views. dont be defensive cos there are so called terms like newbies and regulars. i dont take these terms seriously.

hang around more often and you will notice that many friendships are formed in the midst of all these discussions. there are many friendly threads like chatters, ladies, singles... etc. all having friendly banters la. we are here to learn from each other. some may view them negatively.. we cant control how others thinks.

anyway since you always say you are a newbie.. a warm welcome to you !! take that term out and have fun with the discussion...
happy.gif


sorry TS.. over you..
 
J

janie_wawa

New Member
looks like we might be having a 2nd powderful here in tis forum.... :p

powderful, eh....dun tink i duno hor...u wan some1 to join yr arsehole gang rite....poor qwerty....kekekeke
 
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fairlady95

New Member
hi all,

thanks for all your concern.... you guys are rite... i'm only afraid of ppls' gossip.... but my hubby are supportive for keeping the baby...
 
P

powderful07

New Member
Wendy...

What about you? Are you keen to keep the baby as well?

Are you mentally prepared to be a mum at this stage?

Forget about the photoshoot or the AD. It's insignificant...
Putting aside your parents' views, your hubby's views...
What's important now is DO YOU WANT THE BABY?
 
J

janie_wawa

New Member
wendy, u r so lucky u noe? at least yr hubby is very supportive...if its mi...i wun tink so much le...i will keep the baby.....& i did! no regrets man...

actually wats the big issue here then? coz u scared u wun look gd on yr wedding? den bring it forward? or..juz 4get abt the wedding? u guys already ROM liao mah...save tat $ for baby's use isnt it better? so u rather have the wedding than to keep the baby?

share wif us more...
 
S

simpleman

Active Member
Keeping or aborting a baby is a very personal decision that I don't think anyone can give any "good" advice.

If you are not ready for the baby mentally and you may resent this baby.. then for goodness sake, don't bring someone to this world reluctantly. Sure, foetus is technically not a baby yet in the initial stages.. but if you continue to delay, it will start to have a life of its own..

And if it is just because of the photoshoot or the wedding.. well, they are not that important.

The important question is: are you ready and happy to have this baby coming into your life. If your hb is supportive and you are ok with the baby, the weddings and whatever can be re-arranged.
 
S

saggitarian

New Member
"hi all, thanks for all your concern.... you guys are rite..."

eh u 3 .. u all preparing to be the godparents for the baby or what ?

ppl dun like your post.. you all fire half a monitor screen size post.. ppl say you all right . also got so many things to advice ..
 


G

green_tranquility

New Member
Wendy,
Even if you have a grand wedding dinner and you are not pregnant, I doubt you will please all your relatives and friends.

I'm having my wedding dinner next month. For an example, there were a few relatives & friends criticising why I hold my banquet on a weekday and why I inconvenience them. Haha I was thinking 'hey i only inconvenience you once in my entire lifetime'. I chose not to get too affected on their comments.

Live for yourself & family, and not for others. Make a decision based on whether you want the baby yourself instead of whether other people can accept the baby. Don't get too affected by how others will view your pregnancy. You are already officially married now. Remember we won't be able to please everyone in this world
happy.gif


For looking good in wedding gowns, you don't have to worry lah. There are gowns that are flared widely out, starting from below our boobs. This cutting will hide the tummy well. I'm speaking from my own experience because I'm bigger size than other average brides and have a tummy haha. You may consider to bring forward the wedding dinner, just inform your banquet coordinator.
 
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