Pre Wedding Blues


New Member
I've been struggling with wedding stress lately.
My fiance and I signed up for an overseas pre wedding shoot package.
By right, I should be excited about it but I realised I have no energy to deal with it as this matter has escalated to a combine famillies/relatives trip over the months.
My fiance promised that the holiday trip will not hinder the shoot.
However, I was expected to arrange my shoot according to the dates that suit everybody's schedule.
I was also expected to book the same five-star accomodations/ flights/ bus charter as the families.
My overseas shoot budget trip expenses has tripled even before I fly.
It also doesn't help when my fiance has been leaving me to deal with his own family on the trip plannings.
There were so many places I refuse to go... However, I was expected to accomodate right from the start.
It's supposed to be a happy occassion but i just can't bring myself to feel happier.
In addiition, his anger management has been very horrible lately.
I get screamed and yelled at for no reasons/ small little things that werent initially caused by me.
I also get questioned by the family members and relatives about my wedding preparations in all sorts of unpleasant ways.
I am so overwhelmed, I've actually totally lost interest in talking to him.
What makes me even sadder was I was regarded as an Outsider to my fiance's family.
He's not allowed to stay over at my place during CNY as they believe me, an Outsider, will bring him bad luck for the rest of new year.
I thought he would at least put in some effort in making me feel happier by dating me on valentine's day, but it didnt happened.
I feel so devastated... =(


Well-Known Member
These are the realities after all the honeymoon in courtship. How couple deal with differences and pressure. It reflects on the maturity, understanding and expectations of the individuals. Proceed with eyes wide open. No right or wrong here, just need to know what you are getting into and if its what you want and need in a relationship and marriage.


OMG so suay! Sorry for my response but that's my immediate thought. Why must become one huge gathering?

Maybe he is feeling stressful too that's why temper cmi. Try talking to him?


Active Member
U sound very overwhelmed and helpless. Why not get someone to help u out? Like a friend to coordinate and tidy some things for you? Or even a relative (cousin or something) since it involves family in the holiday trip.
I have friends who were in your shoes before and they actually got me and another friend to help out. I've done coordinating for friends before and I know how stressful it can get.
Don't handle and shoulder everything, you will feel exhausted (like how you are right now) and it will break you down eventually.
I don't know about some of the guys out there but I've heard examples from friends that their bf/fiancé/husbands are always very 'chill' when it comes to wedding preps. They are not as enthusiastic or keen as the girls. My mister is also not as keen to start preparing the wedding. Sometimes his 'cold response' towards some of my wedding planning questions and discussions makes me wonder if he really wants to get married (haha). His claim is that I am a planner and I will probably do a better job than him with details and all.....
But try talking to him about it and start with settling smaller errands on the list first?
Wedding preps can be overwhelming and tiring but it should also be enjoyable.
Get help! Jia you!


i think the issue is with her finance's family and relatives, not the fiancé himself not helping out. to manage the fiancé is easy, but to manage the entire family tree kinda sucks. who is paying for the pre wedding? if it is paid by the guy, guess u have to eat humble pie then.

from the way u described the family and his relatives, they see themselves as the higher ups and will behave the same after you enter their family. It could be they favor guys over girls, you sure have a jolly good time living under such culture. only u know better if they r living in such culture.

since its just wedding preparations, you still have time to think over it carefully. marriage is gonna be for the rest of your life, have a good think abt it.


Active Member

the fact that she mentioned she has to book the accommodation and flights for the family on top of her own expenses of the wedding shoot itself doesnt sound very nice already.
my friends who went for overseas wedding shoot all advised me to be prepared cause it will be very tiring (so be prepared to travel and walk a lot).
if the family wants to tag along as an opportunity to have a holiday, maybe discuss that they pay for their share? afterall, the wedding shoot is something that involves only u and the HTB....

hope things get better and settled soon......

hang in there!


New Member
the guy's actions will prompt me to think about the future. as husband as wife, I would expect him to share the burden with me and not leave me alone to handle.
your fiance's family and relatives do not have the rights to treat you that way. you are preparing and organizing the trip for everyone. shouldn't they be appreciating you instead? how they treat you now won't change much after you get married to him.
does your fiancé knows how this family are treating you? did he do something about it?
I did not go ahead with the wedding as I feel my ex do not support me. his mom insulted me and my mom (in a joking manner that only she thinks it's funny) in front of him. I did told him that what his mom said wasn't nice but he just shrugged it off. I'm not asking him to scold his mom but probably just talked to his mom to not say such things that might be offensive to me.


New Member
I agree it gets complicated when it involves multiple parties.. must be really tough on you. Spend some time speaking to him and see how he goes. If he really loves you, he needs to support you and do something about it.