Positives of marriage?

soisuka

New Member
hmmm...Ok sounds blissful enough....but you're right...it doesn't appeal to me at this point...I think I'm having too much fun...oops....don't tell my ex...he'll use it to blame me.

Ok really I gotta sleep....God Bless you and your families! Thanks for being patiently answering.
 


miloice

Well-Known Member
Soisuka, a person's personality cannot be just added or removed. We might be attracted to a person for many of their attributes... but someday resent that same attribute as well.

Things are often double edged. If someday, my wife have changed into someone I cannot live with happily anymore. I will be really depressed. For I know I cannot change her. I'm not even sure when it comes to that day, will I move on or kill myself.

I used to be so sure, as I go through life, it has taught me shades of grey. Things are never as black and white. There were extremely difficult patches in my life, moments that I could have snapped.

Keep an open mind to see beyond.
 

triple

New Member
Looking back, .... had I known wad marriage was.. as defined in the Women's Charter, I would not have gotten married.

I guess 14 yrs ago, it was the societal instinct that drove me to take this path.
 

shavaine

Member
I don't think there is really an aha moment. But at some point in life, you may find someone whom you get along well with, who is tolerant of your faults, and you of his. And if you both are at the stage where you are ready to settle down, then marriage will come up. Soisuka, it sounds like you aren't at that stage yet, so the institution of marriage may not appeal to you. But it is true, that you don't have to get married to a person to be happy to spend the rest of your life with that person, as marriage is an imposed societal norm. But because it is an imposed societal norm, being married grants a couple access to certain things, like in Singapore, the flat. I think one of the many things why gay people fight for same sex marriage to be recognized is also for visitation rights, when the partner is in the hospital, and to be involved in their treatment process etc.
 

powder

Active Member
tat's a pretty good point with reference to same-sex marriages, i think it's very impt n worth advocating.
 

milo_powder

New Member
Hi Soisuka,

"You see People can love each other with or without marriage. I am curious why people choose to be legally married despite that. That must be a reason why that legal piece of paper is sought."

If you want to know the reasons why people chose to get married, then asking for positives of marriage may not be able to give you much insight; I don't think people would place so much weight on the pros and cons of marriage when deciding for it. Hence, most of the answers provided here don't seem to fit into the boundary you are looking at.

How about these questions for your consideration? - "What do I want in life?" , "How does marriage give me what I want in my life?"
 

soisuka

New Member
oooh...who is this pigcahontas(milo_powder)??

Alamak why u force me out of my hibernation...on such a cold lonely nite (ok its not cold...just for theatrical effect).

Actually I wasn't exactly looking to find something that appeals to me. The reason for my question is actually pretty simple and maybe a bit idiotic.

This forum has so many sad stories, affairs, no sex, not enough sex, abuse, neglect, blah blah blah. Since I have a sad story myself, I obviously can't be the one to talk about positives. So I was hoping the happily married ones would paint a happy picture for the ones who perhaps are jaded and cynical.

But obviously it has deviated from its intended purpose as with most things here.....as u have just once again proven....

I am not looking for an answer for myself... I am simply asking people in it a question...don't think too much. *wink*

Stop saying my name or I'll never get out of here....

*soisuka about to get spank.......ahhhhhhhhhhhh*
 

milo_powder

New Member
Think it's a good idea that you continue your hibernation from the forum. This place currently doesnt work well for your healing or self development, especially when suggestions are directed to you.
 

soisuka

New Member
???? Why are u directing it at me?? I'm just asking a general qn. I haven't lost faith in love nor marriage if that's what you mean.
 

soisuka

New Member
What do u mean by healing and self development then?....er has it occurred to you that I have perhaps....er...healed?
 

soisuka

New Member
Uh huh....and then? Ur trying to say what? I can be a bit dense, you might need to be a bit more direct with me.
 

milo_powder

New Member
I'm sorry, I don't know how to be more direct than this, no implications here ->

Think it's a good idea that you continue your hibernation from the forum. This place currently doesnt work well for your healing or self development, especially when suggestions are directed to you.

Which part do you want to know more?
 

powder

Active Member
u are really not as important as u've mistaken yourself to be... not everything is personal and directed at u. sometimes the way u carry yourself, some kind souls just feel they need to share more with u...

but your glass is full... and u're not even bright.
 

clark

New Member
the old gang is back again.

this forum is dead because of pple like doggy powder, fat, ugly and like to stalk pple Milo and stupid SM.

Why can't they leave or shut the hell up ??????
 

denise80

Active Member
I think she has prejudice when she reads milopowder's comments, thinking that is another milo, such that she was not even reading carefully to the advice. Now I understand her selective reading has to do with her usually wrong perception of ppl. This is not uncommon in ppl including myself but hers is really extreme. It's rather kind to say she's a bimbo. At least that means she's gd looking and at least have some value but if I'm a man, I'll kill myself than to marry such a woman with no brains and worse, who never learns.
 

simpleman

Active Member
denise,

There is no purpose. It it apply to you then yes, there is a purpose. If you find it redundant - just ignore it.

It is just for people to "reflect" when they are dismissing people.. of course at the same time, I am in danger as well of "dismissing other people". Actually I want to write a lot more but when I re-read - it is not going to go anywhere.. so I leave it as it is.
 

babystorm

Member
I'm not married but can I share my 2 cents?

Basically the positive aspects I see from marriage are:

1) Stability in terms of relationship (no longer sourcing for "The One")
2) Legal status to have babies and form a family
3) Share joys and sorrows with the love of your life (someone to cuddle to at night)
4) Lifelong companionship
5) Knowing even if the whole world turns on you, you still have him to fall back on (ok this should be God but he cannot provide physical affections/intimacy, that's why he created Eve)
 

babystorm

Member
One more is that you can enjoy sex fully with one and only sex partner without having to worry about condoms, contraception pills, and love diseases. Although some might say what about affairs? But to me, marriage means complete trust that your partner will honour his/her vows.
 

watching

Member
A) Can appeal to Women´s Charter when you divorce and fight for alimony (warning: you may end up with nothing)
If you think A won´t work.......
B) Can insure the life of your spouse, then kill him. If you get away away scott free, not only will you get money from the insurance company but you will legally inherit something.
If you end up in jail, you can reflect in hindsight. That is a <strike>false</strike> positive.
Bwahahaha.....

ps: can also have non-bastard children, maybe tax rebates.

In short, you can look into the bureacratic stuff for some positives.
 

denise80

Active Member
Hee....Denise, being someone who "knows a lot" (more than I), I hope you know what´s coming for you.

I seriously don't know what you're talking about, Ms Watching. As much as you always wanted someone to be clear, pls be clear yourself.
 

watching

Member
This is the part where some people shut up and let you continue your mistakes until you accumulate a whole lot and come back at you. So be a nicer girl and withdraw the fangs.
 

denise80

Active Member
Fighting chick, talking abt urself eh? Not going to stoop as low like u. U can fight all u want here. Childish post without substance. One is a bimbo and now u r the bitch. What accummulate and fight back. Damn childish. Use that with ur childish man or friends in life and not avatars here.
 

denise80

Active Member
I don't see the need for compassion for someone stupid and yet argumentative. Hence I'm not even challenging your notion.
 

simpleman

Active Member

I don't see the need for compassion for someone stupid and yet argumentative


Something I learn today. Stupid people cannot argue? Or stupid people can argue but we don't have to be compassionate to them? But this is puzzling leh.. you mean conversely we have to be compassionate to smart people who argue or to stupid people who can't argue?

I would have imagine that ONLY stupid people will argue endlessly.
 

denise80

Active Member
Yes, sm. u just proved my point in ur last sentence. Anyway I said that's my view. Since when do I represent all?
 

watching

Member
My notion is people coming back at you at some point when you keep being nasty (fangs metaphor).

The other part is about not being compassionate to someone who is no match (fighting wise and intellectually) when she has stopped undertaking you.
 

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