Pls help a broken man...

[lengthzai]

I got married on Jan 2011. Got my keys to a DBSS flat on Feb 2011. Everything was blissful until recently when my wife decided to walk out of the marriage just like that. The saying goes... when women gets cruel and crazy, they do much better than men...

My question is, (anulment is out of the question due to heavy losses incured by the flat)
1) will signing any separation papers now allow HDB to reposses the flat?
2) Now I'm stuck with the DBSS flat and can only get rid of it after 5 years. I believe I can only get divorce after 3 years. After divorce, what happens to the flat? time lag of 2 years before i can sell it leh...
3) will looking for a lawyer now help in my situation? since another easier option is hold on to it till i sell the flat then divorce. but i will be at risk if i were to meet another gal and my wife accuses me of adultery... sigh...

pls advise. i'm truly grateful for any helpful info given. thanks

 

[susanna_low]

I have a guy friend who is quite similar as u, his ex wife requested for a annulment less than 1yr of marriage.

However, his was a resale flat and he is over 35。He asked for an divorce an not annulment because he could only took over his ex wife's share after 5yrs upon purchase.

It will be the best to check with HDB direct on the procedure first, they do judge on case by case.

 

[simpleman]

For your HDB it is best you check with them and/or their website..

But just curious.. why so worried about being accused of adultery when it is the wife that is walking out of the marriage..

 

[miloice]

Can't wait to hook up with someone new?

 

[jn1234]

Milo
What horrible comment you have when people is already in distress.

You like to ask me "SO WHAT?" So pose the same question back to you, even if TS can't wait to hook up with someone new, SO WHAT?

 

[jn1234]

Please give constructive advice. If you don't have constructive advice, don't go around charging at people's comment.

 

[ajumma]

this person was in s similar situation.

http://www.asiaone.com/Business/News/Story/A1Story20110709-288236.html

call hdb and discuss. take care, lee.

 

[ajumma]

hdb won't repossess the flat unless u default on ur mortgage.

since ur wife has walked out, sign the separation papers now.

 

[powder]

do nothing. just find out some info/facts from hdb first.

let her initiate, then be reluctant before setting your terms... u can protect yourself on the housing and stuff.

if u find out too many things and tell her, u are only screwing yourself.

 

[miloice]

it was in response to sm's comment :

"But just curious.. why so worried about being accused of adultery when it is the wife that is walking out of the marriage.."

I agreed, why the concern? There could be more than meets the eye. Once again, Jenny. You looked at things very much from face value. So worked up, your excitement for the chance to jump on my comments is amazing.

We question on the motives and explore beyond, not simply basing on some yardstick.

"Everything was blissful until recently when my wife decided to walk out of the marriage just like that"

you actually believe that? I don't know for sure. But logically, there would be clues. This statement probably reflects how insensitive and unaware TS could be about his wife emotions all these while. Or, he could be just painting a picture of himself as a victim here. Either way, he isn't as blameless frankly, he could probably pick up some reflections over the painful lesson.

Sorry that you find it so terrible. So what?

 

[miloice]

practice what you preached on August 04, 2011 - 11:07 am.

It is best applied as a mirror. Cheers.

 

[eddie77]

Ya. Just as what powder said, don't take any action first. Find out as much info as possible about flat, separation and divorce. I guess best is from HDB for flat, for separation and divorce,from the lawyers I guess?
Just as what has been mentioned, don't tell ur wife about anything you found out. And don't appear anxious, so that she don't take advantage of you. Think of a win strategy. I think.

 

[lengthzai]

thanks everyone who gave advice... appreciate it

to sm: thats what all my guys friends told me... to be careful during this period. if anything happens, she can accuse me of adultery, get a divorce get mainteniance? since she so cruel walk out of the marriage, why cant i start my life anew? but before signing papers its better be safe then sorry...

to milo: guess more details could be shared so you guys get a better understanding... she walk out of the marriage becus i dun meet her expectations... its up to you to believe it or not... i got better things to settle and to deal with rather then wasting time here cooking up stories for you guys to shoot at me...

 

[miloice]

in other words, it wasn't all blissful all these while as you had initially narrated frankly. If you didn't pick up the clues at all throughout, its probably something you could learn from to be sharper and wiser in future.

Anyway, take care and move on. Find out the housing stuffs from HDB directly. If you feel you have a case to appeal, contact their officer in charge directly to evaluate your case.
On your concern abt her accusing u of adultery, get the separation letter signed.

 

[miloice]

quick search online...
http://www.lawsociety.org.sg/public/you_and_the_law/divorce.aspx

there are plenty others...

for specific details on what you can & cannot do during separation, its best to clarify directly with the lawyer rather than getting unvalidated data online or hearsay from friends & family unless they are practicing divorce lawyers themselves.

 

[simpleman]

lee,

Don't listen to your friends.. even adultery has no bearing on the maintenance.. if she already walk out, divorce is just a matter of time.

You can date while you are in separation. Since she walk out the best is for both of you to agree to separate amicably.. so that both of you can have your life back. No need to spy here and there - you can date!