Pin Jin Issue (Dowry Issue)

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whitewindy

Member
Normally how much would your parents ask for Pin Jin? Just like to check and survey as I'm going to be BTB in Dec 2009.

Perhaps you can give me some pointers or your point of view.

What other things is needed???
Like Long Feng Candles (Dragon & Phoenix Candles) basket?? Roast Pigs??
How about Xi Bing and Cakes? (Any information on where to buy - good lobangs =P)
 


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shingirl

New Member
hi,
pin jin depends on individual...... some parents just yishi yishi can alrready... for eg.... $188... then return ur husband $100.

some people $1888, $8888 etc..... ut depends la

for me, i give my parents 10 tables..... which cost around $15000, so i will sugest to mummy pin jin there yishi yishi only..... should be $1888..... then mother will return husband maybe $1688.... hopefully she agree...haha
 
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lovie_dovie

New Member
Hi Jocelyn,

I'm also a Hokkien marrying Teochew!!! My parents met my future in-laws juz last month and they have talk about this GDL prob. My mil is fine with any arrangement and that the only request she has is that my parents gave her 2 bottles of orange juice and cans of pig trotters.
Also, she wants to order the "teochew cake" or so and give to my relatives. Feel free to share any opinions with me!!! ;)
 
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orangestar

New Member
hi ladies.. i'm a teochew marrying a hokkien.. 1 question I have here:

My mum told me that after the tea ceremony at my hse, i will need to give red pkts to my elder sister (who's not yet married), my grandmother and the all the children..

Q1: What is the rationale behind this (giving red pkt to my sis & grandma)?? My thinking is that we will be considered married and so irregardless of age or seniority, I will have to give those who are present there red pkt as long as he/she is still single.. Am I right?
Apparently hubby doesnt accept this as he hasnt seen this being practised in other weddings which he attended..

Q2: Is this a teochew tradition or its up to individuals?

Thanks!
 
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yeahogrin

New Member
hi cassafina,

did anyone send u the list of GDL items? could i have a copy of it too?
happy.gif


thank you!
 
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sillycouple

New Member
Orangestar.. my mum did tell me abt the ang pow thingy too n i tot its absurb... ive not heard of.. oppps... but i told my mum the wedding day i oredi hv a lot of ang pows to give... still hv to give those singles n kids i will pok gai!!! then she nv say anything liao she oso nv tell me the significance
 
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bluereign79

New Member
hi, i've actually asked this in another thread, but there seems to be so many threads on the same topic :D

is the pin4 jin1 to be in a single red packet or in a number of separate red packets (for the bride's parents to choose amount and return some)? cos in my parents' time, there should be 24 red packets (though i'm unsure of the significance). but well, times have changed...

can anyone help? thanks alot.

btw, me and my WTB are teochew.
 
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lovie_dovie

New Member
Hi Alan,

My pin jin was in 3 red packets.
1. Pin Jin
2. Nappy Money
3. "Shit" Money

My mum took no.2 and no.3 without returning. for no.1, she took some from there and return back the exact same angbao. Hope it helps! (My in-laws was teo chew too)
 
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sillycouple

New Member
lovie dovie: may i know what is nappy money and what is shit money?? omg i dunno all theses haha

i know PJ is up to groom... then nappy and shit money must put how much?
 
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lovie_dovie

New Member
Hi Paradise,

Nappy Money = Clean u up when u urine..
"Shit" Money = Clean u up when u...
happy.gif


For both nappy & shit, doesn't need to be returned!!! For hw much, let me explain..

Example 1 : If ur in-laws bao $9888 for pin jin, they will bao $280 for each nappy and shit. And u take a token of $6000 together with the nappy and shit money.

Example 2 : Ur in-laws bao $9888 for pin jin BUT ur mum only take $888 as a token and return all to them. They will bao more nappy & shit money to her as a show of appreciation coz she took lesser pin jin and for this case, might bao $1000 each for nappy & shit.

There are instances where GDL Day, all 3 ang baos are taken along OR only pin is given. In this case, on ur AD, the nappy money and shit money will be brought along on ur AD!!!!
 
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bluereign79

New Member
lovie dovie: thanks for the replies
happy.gif


btw, has anyone come across presenting of 24 red packets (pin jin) and their significance? my parents did that in their time, but they're unsure of its significance (cos they're also following traditional customs etc. )

as for nappy and 'shit' money, this is really the first time i've heard these terms. woah. so there must be 3 red packets? anyone came across other types of pin jin 'presentation'?

Thanks!
 
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kittykelly

New Member
Hi Lovie Dovie,

So the "Nappy Money" & "Shit Money" must be presented during the GDL?

I though the "Shit Money" for Hokkien is a pcs of drumstick meat with the upper parts and must chose a big big one wow.. Tats wat my mum say..
 
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lovie_dovie

New Member
Hi Kelly,

Some ppl didn't bring along the nappy & shi money during GDL. Instead, present on AD instead.

If mummy dearest said that shit money is pcs of drumstick meat wif the upper parts, then follow hers bah. Afterall, not all traditions are follow closely nowadays and tat monetary was given as replacement.
happy.gif


* Sorry for the long reply! Been bz lately.. *
 
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coxi07

New Member
haha.. loveie dovie.. the terms are so cute... I actually LOL'd.

In the previous threads, I read we give out a lot of ang baos... gosh... going bankrupt man with all these giving of ang baos.

can i check with you ladies...

1. What are the ang baos to give on AD?

2. What are the ang baos to give on GDL?

3. How much to give to younger siblings during tea ceremony?

4. What's a good dowry amount to give my parents? They are not asking for table money - we are keeping cos they said we pay for them. And, they are not asking for any GDL stuffs... said leave to male side. My Fiance is as lost as I am. His mom too cos we are all very modern!! Haha.. My MIL's said probably give 4-dian jin, cake (vouchers) & the dowry money.... So.. what else should we give my parents?

5. All those nappy & "shit" money, dowry etc give on GDL day? AD no need to give parents any more money?'


Thanks!
 
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pringirl

Member
im a hokkien marrying hokkien.
gg to have my GDL this sat
happy.gif


groom to give:
2 pairs of dragon/phoenix candles
dowry $2,888
2 bottles of martell
8 oranges
6 boxes of cakes (from Kyo)
8 cans of pig trotters
4 pcs jewellery gold set (si dian jin)

my mom will return:
2 phoenix candles
part of dowry (i tink is $1680)
2 bottles of orange juice
2 oranges
2 boxes of cakes
2 cans of pig trotters
1 bedsheet set (got from Aussino)
needle & thread
 
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princesspanda

New Member
Oh gosh! What is with all the nappy and shit money??!!! *panic*

My ROM & AD in Jan 2010 which is three months away. I'm basically freaking out a bit about the whole "pinjin" thing.

How much to give? What's the market rate? My FH is clueless!
 
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yallo

New Member
I just had this GDL conversation with my mother and she is quite clueless, she only remembers vaguely that there should be roast pig.

Both me and my HTB are Teochew, btw.

So some questions here:
1) When should the parents meet for the first time?
2) When should the GDL be?
3) Is there a "market rate" for how much people request for the pin jin?

Rawrrrr chinese traditions are just so complicated.
sad.gif
 
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princesspanda

New Member
The lady in one of those Chinese wedding shops in People's Park said the nappy money is supposed to be given on AD when the groom picks you up. She says, "He can't just take you away without giving your parents (mom) a token! So the 'angpow' given is like a 'thank you for bringing up my wife and for the milk and diapers when she was a baby!' And she sold me a special angpow with the right words on it, which was to be given on that day.

I think this makes it easier than giving a whole bunch of money on GDL, and then having to sort out what's what. I'll just leave the PinJin for GDL, and then have FH bring the nappy money when he picks me up. Nice gesture also, to give a 'lai see' to my parents before taking me away.


Hope that helps!
 
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gingoh

New Member
Hi, I'm a Hokkien marrying a Hainanese..

FH's family is rather modern and not into traditions so I actually spoke to my parents and my nanny and wrote down everything that they need and then communicated to FH about it. It was quite a tough journey as my parents kept questioning why they do not know anything when my FH's sister is married and many other cousins are also married etc. Parents actually felt that his family is rather insincere and doesn't make the effort to plan the wedding. sigh. But I'm just glad this is settled.

With regards to Pin Jin, FH and I decided to put on an act for his parents. FH will ask them how much he should put and pretend that he is putting in that amount but in actual fact, it is more. We do not want his parents, especially his mother to feel heart pain.

My parents also mentioned abt the nappy angbao that will be given to my mom on the AD. It is also an amount that we will decide. At the end of the day, I think the important is for both parents to be happy. Know your parents well and then work around it. Doesnt mean everything has to tell them the truth..
happy.gif
 
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smileybride09

New Member
Hi Gin,

Congrats and I am same as u, married to a Hainanese hubby.

When is your big day? Enjoy the process of your marriage preparations.

Cheers!
 
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xiaomau

Member
dear all,

for the nappy money and the shit money- wat traditions is tat for? or is it mainly for most?
im hokkien and my mum asked frm my htb who is teochew.. is it weird?
 
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plue

New Member
Hi Gin Goh, yr situation is same as mine where my parents are also questioning why his family do not know anything after 2 of FH's sisters got married.. Yup they also felt they are insincere.. Haiz.. it is sure a tough journey.. Hopefully everything turns out alright..
 
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katielin

New Member
i'm getting married in less than 1 month's time! Every parents have their own standards.. what i've learnt is, ask them what they want, give them what they want, and don't ask why. haha... a problem that can be settled by money is not a big problem. =p
 
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candycandy001

Active Member
Luckly my parent is ok. A lot of time I discuss with my mum only. I kept on saying my hubby is not rich. Ha^^ I didnt ask for any pingjin. But requested 10tables (mean 10tables for my parent and they will keep all Angbao) from hubby side only. Initially I wanna to save my own in case difficult from my hubby/his parent. But since they offer to pay, I just kept lo. Ha... Hope everything will go smoothly.

My SIL told me last time she married, elderly also can 'shui bian shui bian'. End up on AD, both parent kept on asking why you do this? why never do tat, etc... hope this will not happen to me.
 
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