yongqin, as of your previous 2 posts, it is not very complicated if you simplify the way you think.
1) "personally i feel if u have put in too much of yr feelings/emotions into it,it will be truly hard to remain frds after breaking up. Its not vengeful or hatred its just the kind of emotions/feelings u gotta face yrself thereafter. "
Honestly, i don't think it is very difficult to remain as friends after breaking up. I am now friends with 2 of my ex-es and i even went clubbing with 1 of them (of course witha grouop of our friends). I can get advice on relationship from him and even msn him when both of us are free at work. So where is the difficulty?
2) "Its difficult to completely let go of the feelings after breaking up if u still see the person often,like at wkplace. Or if ur still keep in contact. This will gives u constant hope as in patching back possibility if ur the persistent type. "
I believe my above explanation had provided you with the answer. Though my ex-es and I don't see each other at work, we are still in msn and phone contact. One of them was from my Sec Sch and we meet during gatherings. Even during our clubbing sessions my friends are constantly making fun of us due to the past relationship. Even if we don't meet up, our friends will still bring up the past as jokes.
3) "Unless u can really 'na de qi fang de xia' easily. Too emotional its very dificult to do it lor, u can also but u gonna give it extra more time & do not harbour any hopes. Otherwise its gona be real torture.."
When a relationship end, i believe we should try to put down any extra feelings for each other. One of the ex whom i had mentioned had a very bad break up with me. We broke up because he is seeing a 4th party (i was a 3rd party from his relationship back then). Recently, he married the 4th party and i even congratulated them and gave them my blessing though it turns up that my friends and family hated him instead. His current wife even invited me to their wedding dinner but i cant attend it since i will be going for holidays with my fiance. It really took a long long time to get past the feelings but if i don't move on, i will never be able to go into another relationship.
4) "Then after together with my ex for mths i found that i still misses the other guy which i have been one-sided affections for 1yr +. Although i knew I definitely couldnt end up with the one i love eventually, but i also prefer to end the ex r/s as i realised my true feelings thereafter. "
You are already in love with someone else, why do you still want to patch back? It is very obvious that you will be wasting your time. You have another thread bout your problem with your current bf. Do you still habour feelings for your the guy whom you had the 1 sided affection for 1+ years?