Parents in law visit


New Member
My husband and I ROMed in Sept last year but we have been living at our own places until our BTO is ready next m I moved out of my parents place and have been living by myself for a long time. My husband however still lives with his parents
After ROM, he comes and stays over the wkend with me. During week days, he will be at home (working whole day and dinner/luncb with parents)

i am ok with this setup as we are moving into our place soon. However, recently his mom keeps asking me to come over for dinner (2-3times/week) while he tells me not to come too often. I asked him why and he said no need to come too often. But I dont know why his mom is asking me to come over more often? I’d like to think thag maybe she thjnks im lonely since my husband doesnt stay with me the whole week. If thats the case I am happy to drop by any time even when he is not at home for dinner (like going out with friends) but no, the expectation is to come over when he is home as well

im a bit puzzled about whats going on, what I should do


New Member
Well, I think your PIL scare you are lonely, and as you are eating out, usually are those 'outside food' which to them, isn't healthy. So they probably worry about your health too, hence requesting you to go over often to have dinner (at least home cook food).

Instead of going over when your hubby is not home for dinner, it's better to go over when he's around for dinner. They too want you to be part of the family as well, and hope you can go over more often, especially you both have ROM.

It's like my situation in the past after I ROM with my wife. Slightly different is that our flat wasn't ready at that time, and she stayed with her parents while I stayed with my parents. However during weekday (2-3 times per week), either she will come over to my house for dinner, or I will go over to her parents house for dinner. (Unless either she's meeting her friends for dinner or I'm meeting my friends for dinner). Of course during weekend, most of the time, she will come over to stay. But once a month over the weekend, I will still go over her parents house to stay over.

This way sort of can bring the other party into the family better. Also to avoid outside food if possible, especially that time no covid and almost daily, we need to head back to office to work. So definitely outside food is the only choice we have.

In my pov, I think maybe you can tell them you can go over 2-3 times per week for dinner? Or discuss with your hubby on how to go about the arrangement also.
Top of my mind, this is an unusual arrangement albeit a temporary one. Wouldn't a husband want to spend more time with the wife?

Anyhoo, is he the only son in his family and what are the living arrangements once you guys move into your matrimonial home?

I guess the elephant in the room is this - are your in-laws going to move in with you guys? If this has been discussed then life is not so complicated afterall.