P.I evidence

[kelvinong16]

I supect my wife is having an affair. If I hire a P.I to trace her, what can be a good evidence to use against her? Can holding hands or kissing be good enough to sue her? And can I sue the man for having an affair with my wife, and what can i ask for? Need good advice urgently, so lost now.

 

[von0910]

Hi Kelvin, you can hire a P.I to trace your wife movement. But as what you say holding hand or kissing is that good enough to sue her? I can tell you she will say just normal friend. Coz am also facing the same problem as you. They will find excuse to cover themself.

 

[kelvinong16]

But how can normal friend hold hand or let say even kiss or behave so intimate in public? The judge will belive or think normal friend can hold hands? somemore she is a married women? But can i trace that man down or even sue him? Please advice thanks.

 

[ckgal]

If they hold hands or kissing., that is consider as unreasonable behaviour which can be use as reason for divorce. My sister use tat kind of evidence for divorce. If you wan to know more details, you can pm me.

 

[dinnielooi]

Yes, my lawyer did told me that can be one of the thing tat you can use to file for divorce

 

[kelvinong16]

But is it good enough to sue them? Or i must catch them red handed on bed? Like what sad guy said, they will find excue to cover themselve. Also can i sue that man for having an affair with my wife?

 

[kelvinong16]

But what if they insist they are just friend, and holding hands just as friend? I also heard from other that must catch them on bed then chances is higher. But I wanna sue that man.

 

[clipperjunk]

i think it's common sense to assume an affair when your wife is behaving intimately even without sex..how to cover? mouth to mouth resuscitation?

 

[von0910]

Good, coz if that really can sue her. But for my case he keep say jus normal friend. My heart break million pieces coz i got no black & white.

 

[kelvinong16]

Will the man be punish for having an affair with a married women?

 

[ckgal]

If they wan to give excuse, even if caught them in bed they will still give excuse. But whether is it valid or not.

 

[dinnielooi]

Having affair is not a criminal offence, so no punish la.

 

[kelvinong16]

I mean punish in the sense of sue him in court then ask him to pay for the price og doing that.

 

[infojunkie]

"But is it good enough to sue them?"
"But I wanna sue that man"
"Will the man be punish for having an affair with a married women?"

kelvin, forget abt punishing them... if they indeed committed adultery, u can use it to file for divorce. the most u can do is name the man as a co-defendant...

u guys hv kids? if u wanna end it, do it amicably...well, at least try...

 

[kelvinong16]

But they are doing something which is wrong, I know there must be some reason for her to do that, may be or I think I'm partly to be blame for her act. Is a lesso for them to learn, I want the man to pay for the price, I know it take 2 hands to clap.

 

[dinnielooi]

They can claim they are normal friends or claim nothing wrong even going for ons, but what we care is the family laws.

 

[infojunkie]

kelvin, dun do that lah... u hv ur life to live, they hv theirs. Life is SHORT so dun waste time doing the bad stuff and miss out on the gd ones.

 

[kelvinong16]

sorry what is family laws? what family laws can do to protect us?

 

[margret]

Hi kelvin i have use photographs of my husband behaving intimately with another woman on a few occasions taken by pi to successfully file for divorce. With the evidence, i didn.t even need to beg him to divorce amicably as he was the one at fault not me,.

 

[kelvinong16]

Hi Margret, thanks for the info, but what is the procedures for that?

 

[dinnielooi]

It is the laws tat govern on family, ie marriage, divorce and others. Do a search in google and you will know. Don.t waste your money to sue tat guy, maybe you can name him as a co-defendant to shame him in court

 

[margret]

send a email to me at [email protected]

 

[wat_are_dreamz]

Hi Kelvin, i believe it must be hard for u now. Do leave the idea of suing the guy aside cos it makes no sense. The guy might not even know tat ur wife is married. Or even if he knows, ur wife could have lied to him saying tat things are bad between her n u n she is v lonely etc, in the midst of divorce etc. I dun mean to make u feel sad but the fault lies more with ur wife than the guy cos the guy might be totally clueless.

If u are certain tat tis is the end of ur marriage, u can hire a PI and use the photos to file for divorce n move on with ur life. There's no need to make things ugly cos the lord has eyes to see n due punishment will be melted out at the right time. Its not up to us to reward or punish. Being bitter n upset over the affair will only make urself miserable, so pls try ur best to let go if ur decision is a divorce.

 

[chrisnil]

hi kelvin, what u need to do first is to contact a reliable pi to discuss your case. after investigating, u will know whether she is having an affair/fling/ons or she is innocent. with evidence, u will naturally know what u want to do next.

 

[pokoyo]

I got PI report with intimate reports, videos and photos but got my divorce for unreasonable grounds. My ex counter file me as unreasonable too. I want to save money so I accept it not because I am.

The judge just accept it when both side consents. Try to talk to her after you got your report. Whether you want this marriage, settle it amicably.

In the end the laws don't care as long as both consent. There is no law in Singapore to protect the innocents.

 

[sgbabydoll]

If they are photographed holding hands or kissing on the way into a hotel or at the airport (taking an overseas holiday together), I think it can be good enough for infidelity evidence. Not too sure if you also need secondary evidences such as email or SMS.

By the way, you can only sue your own spouse for infidelity, not the third party. This is Singapore, not S Korea or Taiwan whereby infidelity is like a moral crime.

 

[kelvinong16]

Thanks for all the advice. Anyone know how much will it cost to hied a P.I per day or more and normally for how long? But can I trace on both my wife and the man? or is not necessary to trace on the man. Thanks.

 

[ckgal]

hi kelvin, I have engage a PI for some investigation last time. He is quite reliable and efficent. If u want to his contact, pm me

 

[clipperjunk]

why track the man for? your intent should be to catch the wife, you might dig up other surprises..get your proof, divorce if you want and move on...count it a blessing that you've got no kids, i presume...

 

[kelvinong16]

Dear all, after so long i finally engage a P.I and have pic of them kissing and holding hands in the public. Now i m going to file for divorce soon. Just want to ask can i claim my P.I cost from that man, cos i know my "wife" wont be able to afford it as it is not cheap. Can I claim from him and if he refuse to pay what can i do? I have not look for any lawyer yet. just need some advice before i proceed further. Thanks.

 

[texasholdem]

kelvin,

did u do a thorough check on the man background? is he married? are they colleagues? or ?
if u want to make life difficult for them, go all the way. don't be soft hearted

 

[kelvinong16]

yes, the P.I have check his back ground, he is married but divorce. I just want to claim my P.I money back from the man, as i know my "wife" cant afford. and after that end the whole things and move on. I need to know if i can sue him and claim my money, and he cant afford to pay or refuse to pay, then can the court do anything?

 

[texasholdem]

this is between you and your wife. i doubt the court will order the man to pay.

sue him for what purpose? u mention u going to file for divorce. you are the one who initiate. why does your wife need to pay the PI fees?

 

[texasholdem]

mayb you on your PM
i can email u.

 

[simpleman]

kelvinong,

Don't be a cheapo. Your wife cheated on you. You want to find the evidence to divorce her.. and you want to claim from that man? OMG.

Be a man. Get a divorce if you can't stomach the infidelity. Get on with your life.

 

[powder]

kelvin,

u're not very wise nor very entreprenial...

1stly, No u cannot claim back.

2ndly, u should get PI to obtain better picts and sell them over the internet or on some voyeur websites... it will allow u to hire 3 PIs!

but seriously, now that u know, just do what u have to. if it hurts badly, just buy a green hat and u'll feel better thaat at least u're wearing it yourself.

btw, if u make that man pay... u'll feel like a Pimp.

 

[bedokboy]

i like your last line powder.

very very very true.

 

[powder]

sadly, pple dun think anymore... the world is getting myopic n self-serving my fren... we are an educated nation of mentally-incapable pple.

 

[miloice]

the pimp thing... very true but humorous line. haha.

 

[giantemu]

I believe he is just too emotional for the moment, must be terribly hurt by the incident.

Don't waste unnecessary money on legal fees and such, if possible get amicable resolution to cut the whole issue short.

THere are other things that need resolution - HDB and alimony...these are also costs...don't let rage blind you....

 

[robo]

just pay from ur own pocket.

treat it like a movie ticket wadeva..

y drag on the thing.

just divorce her and move on.

 

[denise80]

I hate to say this but TS may be the main cause for his wife's infidelity from the way he 'behaves' and 'thinks' throughout all these PI thingy.

 

[simpleman]

Saying that TS is the "cause" of wife's infidelity is a little too much. He may have contributed to it (although no evidence so far) but a cause for his wife's infidelity?

 

[denise80]

sm, this is because he sounded calculative and focused his hatred on the other man than his own wife. Anyway I said 'maybe the main cause' because i had a similar experience with a super calculative man who's highly suspicious and controlling of my behaviour. From a person who had never strayed, in the end I did because he was driving me crazy and I needed solace from someone else.

After all, throughout the thread, TS did not show any signs of sadness but vengence and hatred. Either that's how men deal with their unhappiness or he is 'special', if you get it. If it's the latter, then why the misplaced sympathy?

 

[moistfaucet]

i don't know about others, but i hate the most when people like to prob, check, re-check or spy on everything what i say and i do.

if you don't believe in me, why be with me ? if you spy on me, it means you try to be hostile with me. so you wanna fight and end it ? why not just say it.

 

[simpleman]

Blaming our straying on our spouse for being suspicious is really too much I can stomach. Blame yourself first. You strayed. Yes, spouse may push you to it.. but no can force you..

I don't have any sympathy for the TS. Not at all. I find him petty and cheapo but that does not equate to him being the main cause of his wife straying.

Don't mix the 2 things together. And don't shift the blame. two wrongs don't make a right.

 

[niwota]

Wow, simpleman.. agree with you. don't just simply blame your wife without thinking the real reasons behind her going astray.

 

[whereto]

if you want to punish them, go the the newspaper, publish their photos and stories. u get $50.
for commiting adultery only 1 day jail or fine, if the judge find them guilty.

 

[moistfaucet]

sometimes, it is very hard to see the REAL FEELING of the TS, maybe many unspoken word he hasn't type yet, or he just use the simple / modest wording.

 

[heartbrokenb4]

I sympathize with TS, and also find it totally and disgustingly unacceptable when others say that it's the victim's fault that the spouse strayed.
C'mon, if he is so difficult to live with, in the first place why commit to be his wife then simply change her mind when someone else better comes along? Can she accept it if he does that to her? Even if she realises that she has made a mistake after being married to him, or that he has become very much less of her expectation over time, does it justify her to betray him like this?

If you really can't tahan your spouse anymore and issues can't be ironed out, then it's only proper that firstly a divorce/separation based on irreconcilable differences happens. After that is settled, then each can go on to look for another partner. Like that nobody's dignity gets compromised mah.

Straying while you haven't sorted out relationship issues with your spouse is just plain disrespectful to the other person (no mater how lousy you find him/her to be) and a lame excuse for one's own weakness!!!!