Not sure if BF wants to REALLY marry me.

[cuclainne]

the husband asked my parents permission before proposing to me. then he went home and told his mother he proposed to me. i supposed she must be unprepared because he didn't tell her why he came to singapore in the first place .. first time i met her, i was already engaged to her son and the second time we met was at the wedding

 

[etleen]

wow..! seems like i missed out quite a bit..

yup.. i agree with pinktweet.. after all the preps.. then propose.. it's weird.. it's like you dun have a choice but die-die have to marry him..

it's not that we dun wanna marry our partners.. but it becomes meaningless..

as of now.. so many things are done.. gonna book our venue soon.. BS is also booked since long long ago... getting wedding bands soon..

and proposal ring is bought! but dunno wat's on his mind.. that is stopping him.. =(

 

[love_asa]

So I'm not the only one. We've set the AD, booked the hotel, paid the bridal studio and even booked the date for photoshoot.

Only thing is, he has not proposed

I told him he can forget about the proposal, but he insisted he doesn't want to shortchange me.

I was initially pretty unhappy about it, but I've come to terms. Now, I shall just wait in anticipation for the surprise he's planning and be surprised when he proposed. It's, after all, his effort put in. I'm pretty appreciative of that. Now we even joke that he would propose to me on our wedding day.

My colleagues have said it is weird, but I guess to see it in another light, it is a unique way of doing things?

 

[jefferson_edison]

how about you propose to him, since this proposal thingy is casing u so much of a "trouble"

I remember a recent move the lady proposed to the guy...






but seriously, I won't my girl proposed to me...










and what's holding him up?...

 

[cuclainne]

just because the proposal doesn't come in the correct sequence of things doesn't mean that it's any less special.

 

[thommy]

proposal is insignificant, its how u guys lead your lives after marriage that matters.

 

[miloice]

It is only to feel cloud nine when preparing or going through your wedding. When reality kicks in, that's when you know if it really mean anything at all.

 

[audkit]

Hello! New here.

seems that I have the same problem. My bf thinks there is no need to propose to me. Sigh.. He thinks buying the ring is a waste of money as diamonds are useless for him, but for me, it's a gesture of love. I've told him that but he don't really get it. The only reason he'll buy is cos I told him to buy. Sad. Sometimes I feel he don't really love me. He's older then me by 12year. Both of us dragons! I feel the urge to get married cos of his age but he's still not keen in settling down cos of his change in career.

 

[venussnow]

i also signed for my bridal package way before my bf proposed.to me,we have been talking abt marriage like forever(we've been tog for 10 yrs) and his urging me to sign the bridal package shows his sincerity in our r/s although his proposal ring only came a yr later

 

[musetta]

uhh same here, we are already looking around for flat and he has not even proposed yet! I'm also clueless no sure why he's holding back...I made things so easy for him. I told him don't have to spend a lot on proposal ring, $100 or less is fine with me as the wedding bands are more important and practical. Few months back I even suggested to him that SK jewelry had some closing-down-for-renovation sale and the jewelry might be going at a steal. Of late, he seemed to hint that he has bought a ring. I'm anticipating the moment he pops the question!

 

[mirrorcelcius]

you can tell what kind of person he is, before or during the wedding.

if he does not care about the details of wedding. expect that in the future maybe anything that interest you he just act blur.

if he move after you threat him. also expect that in the future if you want him to do anything, he will make a move after your threat.

if he take care of everything before you know it. expect that in the future you will live with a full control man. even you go to toilet he also have to know.

if he will ask your opinion about any wedding details. expect that in the future he will not know how to make a decision. it will be entirely up to you. so don't expect him to make any decision soon.

 

[opalstar]

Wah...
So this is a case of "do also die" "don't do also die"?

 

[mmei_zi]

贫贱夫妻白事哀

 

[miloice]

mirrorcelcuis, interesting!

So how har? Take the lead, assume is he will dominate and micromanage. Ask for opinion, assume he cannot take decision.

To me, a person making such assumption reflects how quick they are to make judgements to condemn others.

 

[mirrorcelcius]

the only things in marriage life you will really do things together and to pull out everything you both got, is the wedding preparation. after that it is just a routine life.

if you both argue in the beginning and can not get the things done together, how do you live down the road as a couple ? the hardest things for both of them to test their unity is how they settle the wedding. that's simple.

you don't have to live together until you get into the coffin to know your other half.

 

[powder]

so in conclusion, to really do something together - u plan everything and get married...

but after u get married, u dun get to really do something together and get into routine life...

that sounds like one of those great ironies in life...

 

[miloice]

i don't agree. The prep is probably the 1st big thing that many couples start with. But, its no way the only thing. Too much emphasis is placed on the wedding than the relationship and marriage. Life after marriage is no way routine. And definitely can be far more a test than the wedding. The wedding itself is awefully overrated frankly. Sadly, many relationships are just honeymoon during dating and are clueless on the quality of relationship they are having. They need a marriage prep to find out who they are marrying. Its a scary thought that is very real many times.

The expectation for marriage to be routine is a dangerous one. That's why many married couples stopped dating and caring for each other. That only suffocate the relationship. Just as how we continue to care for and spend time with our family, its the same for spouses. The road doesn't end there. Both would have some common understanding and goals to pursue be it having kids, climbing the corporate ladder or other aspirations. Taking the supportive role is just as dynamic. We consciously allow our relationships and marriage to turn cold thinking its normal. When the communication and completely broken, they come to forums looking for clues on how to keep their spouses. Its probably way too late then.