John,
Counselling will continue to NOT work for you as long as you're hoping that the social worker will point out what's wrong (both with your wife and with yourself) and point you to the solutions, simply because that's not what a social worker is supposed to do. The whole point of the social worker sitting with you and chatting, and getting you to speak up without making a value-judgement or conclusion as to who is right or wrong (which you described as giving the "two thumbs up" and "fight on"--which is NOT what they are trying to achieve, really) is simply that recognising a problem and identifying a solution can only come from within. They can only guide you on the way. So of course, if you go in with the wrong mindset, it won't be effective. Try going in without the 'who's right who's wrong' mentality, because as methods for finding solutions go, it's not very effective. Put it this way, Israel and Palestine have yet to find a solution because there are enough people out there wanting the other side to admit that they're wrong first. Hasn't solved the problem for the past 5 decades, no?
With regards to the possibility of your wife suffering from PND, please don't treat it as if it's being used as an excuse. Yes, it does not mean that your wife, if suffering from it, can carry on being unreasonable. But you need to think about when all the problems began, sit down with your wife and discuss the avenues of help that the both of you can pursue. Not for the sake of your marriage, but for both your own sakes. EVEN if she's not suffering from PND, she also should find a different way of relieving stress. You may not end up hanging around long enough to see the results, but at least you should get her on the path to learning how to deal with it properly, through professional help.
One last thing, before I sign off: seriously, all the little things that you listed as 'proof' that you are a good guy, a good catch, a good husband? When I read it, I was quite put-off too. You may not think that it's blowing your own trumpet, but it sure looks like it is and does nothing for your credibility or claims. It's like when the government publishes something that they've done in the papers and the 9.30 news. Yep it's facts, that's what they say, but everybody just rolls their eyes and calls bull5hit, you know what I mean? You might want to lay off those in future.
P/S Just because your ah beng soldier or your norweigan friend wants to meet up with you, doesn't mean that you don't have a communication problem. It just means they remembered you. One swallow does NOT a summer make.
PP/S If I don't reply any further it's probably because I got myself arrested by the ISD tonight for that little comment up there. The one about the government.
Counselling will continue to NOT work for you as long as you're hoping that the social worker will point out what's wrong (both with your wife and with yourself) and point you to the solutions, simply because that's not what a social worker is supposed to do. The whole point of the social worker sitting with you and chatting, and getting you to speak up without making a value-judgement or conclusion as to who is right or wrong (which you described as giving the "two thumbs up" and "fight on"--which is NOT what they are trying to achieve, really) is simply that recognising a problem and identifying a solution can only come from within. They can only guide you on the way. So of course, if you go in with the wrong mindset, it won't be effective. Try going in without the 'who's right who's wrong' mentality, because as methods for finding solutions go, it's not very effective. Put it this way, Israel and Palestine have yet to find a solution because there are enough people out there wanting the other side to admit that they're wrong first. Hasn't solved the problem for the past 5 decades, no?
With regards to the possibility of your wife suffering from PND, please don't treat it as if it's being used as an excuse. Yes, it does not mean that your wife, if suffering from it, can carry on being unreasonable. But you need to think about when all the problems began, sit down with your wife and discuss the avenues of help that the both of you can pursue. Not for the sake of your marriage, but for both your own sakes. EVEN if she's not suffering from PND, she also should find a different way of relieving stress. You may not end up hanging around long enough to see the results, but at least you should get her on the path to learning how to deal with it properly, through professional help.
One last thing, before I sign off: seriously, all the little things that you listed as 'proof' that you are a good guy, a good catch, a good husband? When I read it, I was quite put-off too. You may not think that it's blowing your own trumpet, but it sure looks like it is and does nothing for your credibility or claims. It's like when the government publishes something that they've done in the papers and the 9.30 news. Yep it's facts, that's what they say, but everybody just rolls their eyes and calls bull5hit, you know what I mean? You might want to lay off those in future.
P/S Just because your ah beng soldier or your norweigan friend wants to meet up with you, doesn't mean that you don't have a communication problem. It just means they remembered you. One swallow does NOT a summer make.
PP/S If I don't reply any further it's probably because I got myself arrested by the ISD tonight for that little comment up there. The one about the government.
