Need advice on splitting wedding costs with my partner

Hi all, would like some advice as none of my close friends are married yet and I'm the first amongst them so don't really have anyone to ask haha.

So my mum is the traditional type and requested for 6 tables and expects my partner to pay. My partner expressed displeasure to me (subtly) and asked if I can negotiate with my mum to which I said I'm not able to. Knowing my mum, she confirm pocket all the angpows..Anyway my partner agreed to give my mum 6 tables but asked me to split the costs with him for the wedding 50-50. My mum keeps the 6 tables angpow but any other angpow we receive, we split 50-50 too.

So just wanted to check with the ladies here, is the splitting of costs between couples usually done before or after deducting the tables given to bride's parents? Am I supposed to pay for half of the 6 tables my mum had requested for? Or can I just pay the (total tables-6 tables) / 2?

Appreciate insights as to what's the norm. Many thanks!
 


buddhabar

Active Member
Wedding is a couple event , unless you marry up ( significantly ) else both of you should share and bear the full cost together.
This includes the entire event from wedding preparation, gown, suits, photoshoot, dinner banquet etc All the angbaos , except those from the 6 tables for your mom's, should be pool to pay the bill. Imo, the 6 tables are from the newly couple to the mother in law and not part of the dowry.
i have a buddy who carried a 3 yr debt because of his wedding expenses which inevitably caused a strain in his marriage.
During my time, my wife and i started a joint account 1 year prior ( till today ) and we contributed monthly to this account equally. This account is used for the entire wedding event and subsequently all future family expenses including buying our matrimonial house, our childbirth, sch , yearly holiday etc.
 
Thanks for your input. Is it a norm to share cost of the 6 tables given to the bride's (my) mother? Or is it supposed to be paid by the groom?
 

hiaohiao

New Member
Hi all, would like some advice as none of my close friends are married yet and I'm the first amongst them so don't really have anyone to ask haha.

So my mum is the traditional type and requested for 6 tables and expects my partner to pay. My partner expressed displeasure to me (subtly) and asked if I can negotiate with my mum to which I said I'm not able to. Knowing my mum, she confirm pocket all the angpows..Anyway my partner agreed to give my mum 6 tables but asked me to split the costs with him for the wedding 50-50. My mum keeps the 6 tables angpow but any other angpow we receive, we split 50-50 too.

So just wanted to check with the ladies here, is the splitting of costs between couples usually done before or after deducting the tables given to bride's parents? Am I supposed to pay for half of the 6 tables my mum had requested for? Or can I just pay the (total tables-6 tables) / 2?

Appreciate insights as to what's the norm. Many thanks!
Everything split 50-50 because we are hosting the event as a couple. I will never let my husband shoulder something on his own because we are a team.
 

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