NEED ADVICE !!! ++ ***No Jie Meis' BTB*** sob badly

booboo1010

New Member
I have big big problem.
My father is superstitious so I can only find jiemeis who are single.

I am getting depress as
1) 60% friends married
2) some claimed they very shy so cant help me gatecrash
3) 2 cannot confirm
4) and worst.. my bestfriend did more than 3 times and I dont want her to involve as I heard not good for her
5) my female cousins not very close with me
6) The rest of my good friends are males

A friend in need is a friend indeed. This doesnt seems to be in my case =(

It seems like i "begging" pple to be my jiemeis and i really hate this feeling..

It seems alot of ppl have no problem finding jie meis..
anyone heard of not having jie meis at all for traditional wedding?
any other solutions?
 


simpleman

Active Member
Get someone to talk to your father lah.. so stubborn for what.. ask him to find for you lor if he is so smart..
 

booboo1010

New Member
Dad is suggesting 2 cousins..
2 of them in their teens, 14 and 15.. both are very shy girls.. and since we have big age gap , we aint close also
 

koikoi

New Member
your ex-colleagues leh??
speak to your dad lor...
like my friend, she told her mum and dad, our grp all married except 2 lor...

then they told her married can but cannot have preggies as jiemei...

try to talk to your dad nicely.
 

simpleman

Active Member
talk to your dad.. get some married ones ok lah.. to help out and advise your 2 young cousins that your father suggested..

compromise a bit here and there won't die one.
 

simpleman

Active Member
actually don't really have to play the "jie mei" game..

I find it meaningless anyway.. just ask some relatives/cousins to help out..

If your father think he is so smart.. ask him to organize lah..
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Just gather whatsoever resources there are and present the case to your dad.

He can insist all he wants but that's all there is loh. Throw the ball to his court. Make it his problem and not yours. Then, he will realze the issue.
 

yummy_23

New Member
try to do something different then... your side will have "brothers" instead of "jiemie" and your husband side to have "jiemei" instead of "brothers" lor...
 

ohdarling

New Member
hi boo boo, just dun do it if you dun like, no big deal really.

i dun intend to have that too coz gatecrashing tradition isnt that same old traditions people have way back in Chinese traditions, so it doesn't harm to do ur wedding in another way
 

booboo1010

New Member
how can i find out the original traditions? Maybe i can use that to convince my dad and my in laws. Both of us happen to be teochew and very traditional.
 

sunboi80

Member
As far as i know, there is nothing as "jie meis" or "punishment" in the tradition, correct me if i am wrong... it's something that is coin out for young couples to have fun ( and bully the groom ) on wedding day.
 

ohdarling

New Member
i think nowadays nobody knows the real chinese traditions anymore, unless they have those old 'manual' book passed down from generations, but so far i know know 1 friend whose family has a 'naming' book passed down from many ancestors ages ago, nothing about wedding

think u can google chinese traditions but jus dun 100% trust these stuff too

well, if anybody who has watched old chinese shows always got brides marry off early in the morning in 'jiao zi' carried by a large group of people with loud music and band... that's a 'tradition' that nobody does liao

and also the bride will sit in the bridal room with her red veil covering her face throughout the WHOLE session of the wedding dinner!!
 

alcifertoh

New Member
I think the original tradition only one Bestman and one Bridesmaid nia ba. Xiong di and jie meis seems being added in later one.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Yes, almost, at my own wedding. However, my sisters and two gfs decided to play a bit of gate crashing in the end. I was inside a bedroom, and didn't even know what went on outside. So, I didn't see any point of this game.
 

ohdarling

New Member
some of my cousins just get whoever available to open door directly no haggle, some friends went straight to church the groom and bride meet at church, a few went overseas small wedding, a few only buffet at home.

so really depends on individual preferences, just be happy and dun think so much, one of my friend seemed so stress and nervous in her own wedding so no point doing all those extras stuff
 

two_piece

Member
my wedding dun have jiemeis n gate crash too. Just my HB came with 1 of his cousin, and my auntie open door for them to come in loh, tat's all... ours was a very simple one, we didnt even bother to have the wedding dinner, save all the trouble :p
 

sunshinepeach

New Member
boo boo>> Maybe I am bad.. but hor.. if u dun tell ur dad ur friends are married, he wont know, right? :p It's ur big day..

Maybe u dun call the married friends as "jie mei" lor.. call them helpers instead ba.. I believe in the traditions, there is nothing wrong with friends helping up with the gate crashing or helping up with a friend's wedding?
 

powder

Active Member
simple solution...

just get 1 or 2 of those old aunties of your mum's generation to make things difficult.

of cos for your hubby side, not so fun cos no pretty girls... but wat the heck... it's stil ok mah... in the past i have attended this type and it's totally ok. of cos the aunties should be married as well... but your dad more likely to agree...

then after he agree, wait 3 days and ask your dad how come aunties married can be 'jie-mei' but your frens cannot? then suggest to let your frens join in... and on the actual day ask the aunties to step one side and let your jie-meis perform.
 

koikoi

New Member
wow powder like that also can ah??

but my aunties they all join in the fun leh...
ahhahhaa.... my cousin in laws all buay tahan...
hhehehe
 

powder

Active Member
can always ask the married frens to come but call them 'helpers' instead of jie-mei... it's just a technicality.

end of the day if your 'helpers' chup chee kar and make the noise... i doubt dad is gonna notice... cos they are just helpers making noise... just dun call them jie-mei and u're fine.
 

kahlen

New Member
What about pay to hire professional 'jiemei'?
Get help from your bridal studios, wedding planner, make up, hair artist?
 

kahlen

New Member
Haha...

ps there are prof young mourners willing to take up the tasks. Send jiemei invitation cards out to your former school for help. =)
 

kessie83

New Member
boo boo, how much are u willing to pay to hire professional jiemeis..maybe alot of eligible girls who is dying to be ur jiemeis. keke
 

koikoi

New Member
boo boo,
wat powder said is correct...
when your helper chup chee kah, your dad wont say anything lor... he can't be telling them off...

fyi, i was a sister for more 8 times and I'm still happily married and continuing to be others jiemei if they dun mind...
if your bestie dun mind being your jm that day, dun keep her away... it will make your wedding more memorable to have your bestie with you...

happy.gif
 

booboo1010

New Member
haha.. i dont know there are "professional jiemeis" around.. i tot jiemeis suppose to be your cousins ,sisters or bofs.

out of curious.. anyone engage professional jiemeis before??

honestly, i was really very sad and down for few days..tears almost drop while i'm working.. but after reading u guys' responses, i perk up abit..
 

powder

Active Member
for jie-meis dun need professional lah... it's an inborn thing... keke, making it hard for the guys... u just need anyone can liao...
biggrin.gif
 

momiji

New Member
boo boo,

its perfectly fine without any jiemeis or brothers for traditional chinese wedding. i told my friends and cousins that i do not want any jiemeis for my chinese wedding. my hubby also told his buddies that there will be no brothers for gate-crashing ceremony. this is not uncommon as most of my cousins also do not have gate-crashing when they married.

so on the actual day, my hubby came to my parents' house alone and my mum opened the door for him. its quite hassle-free. those aunties relatives all think that its good that there is no gate-crashing as they feel its a meaningless thing.
 

alcifertoh

New Member
I'll likely hope to do a Troy. Or hold the little boy that open the car door for me as hostage during the gate crash session.
 

powderful07

New Member
Err...how about my recommendation?

Just don't tell your dad that your jie-meis are married...
Simple right? What he don't know can't hurt him...

And even if he found out on that day, what the heck can he do about it? Be a spoilsport and forbid it?

At the most, kick your dad out into the "siong di" side and get him to join in the "torture" session. That should teach him a lesson!!!
 

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