NEED ADVICE !!! ++ ***No Jie Meis' BTB*** sob badly

[booboo1010]

I have big big problem.
My father is superstitious so I can only find jiemeis who are single.

I am getting depress as
1) 60% friends married
2) some claimed they very shy so cant help me gatecrash
3) 2 cannot confirm
4) and worst.. my bestfriend did more than 3 times and I dont want her to involve as I heard not good for her
5) my female cousins not very close with me
6) The rest of my good friends are males

A friend in need is a friend indeed. This doesnt seems to be in my case =(

It seems like i "begging" pple to be my jiemeis and i really hate this feeling..

It seems alot of ppl have no problem finding jie meis..
anyone heard of not having jie meis at all for traditional wedding?
any other solutions?

 

[sgbabydoll]

You don't have sisters?

 

[simpleman]

obviously not.. else she won't be begging..

 

[booboo1010]

ya i dont have sisters..

 

[simpleman]

Get someone to talk to your father lah.. so stubborn for what.. ask him to find for you lor if he is so smart..

 

[booboo1010]

Dad is suggesting 2 cousins..
2 of them in their teens, 14 and 15.. both are very shy girls.. and since we have big age gap , we aint close also

 

[kahlen]

My jiemei all gay.

 

[sgbabydoll]

What about female colleagues?

 

[booboo1010]

i just joined my company for one month.. in my team, 3 married, 1 don't talk (I guess she shy) and 2 guys..

 

[koikoi]

your ex-colleagues leh??
speak to your dad lor...
like my friend, she told her mum and dad, our grp all married except 2 lor...

then they told her married can but cannot have preggies as jiemei...

try to talk to your dad nicely.

 

[simpleman]

talk to your dad.. get some married ones ok lah.. to help out and advise your 2 young cousins that your father suggested..

compromise a bit here and there won't die one.

 

[simpleman]

actually don't really have to play the "jie mei" game..

I find it meaningless anyway.. just ask some relatives/cousins to help out..

If your father think he is so smart.. ask him to organize lah..

 

[miloice]

Just gather whatsoever resources there are and present the case to your dad.

He can insist all he wants but that's all there is loh. Throw the ball to his court. Make it his problem and not yours. Then, he will realze the issue.

 

[yummy_23]

try to do something different then... your side will have "brothers" instead of "jiemie" and your husband side to have "jiemei" instead of "brothers" lor...

 

[booboo1010]

actually i thinking not to have the jie meis tradition.. anyone encounter such thing ?

 

[simpleman]

boo boo,

yes.. no big deal.. but ask your daddy first hor..

 

[ohdarling]

hi boo boo, just dun do it if you dun like, no big deal really.

i dun intend to have that too coz gatecrashing tradition isnt that same old traditions people have way back in Chinese traditions, so it doesn't harm to do ur wedding in another way

 

[booboo1010]

how can i find out the original traditions? Maybe i can use that to convince my dad and my in laws. Both of us happen to be teochew and very traditional.

 

[sunboi80]

As far as i know, there is nothing as "jie meis" or "punishment" in the tradition, correct me if i am wrong... it's something that is coin out for young couples to have fun ( and bully the groom ) on wedding day.

 

[ohdarling]

i think nowadays nobody knows the real chinese traditions anymore, unless they have those old 'manual' book passed down from generations, but so far i know know 1 friend whose family has a 'naming' book passed down from many ancestors ages ago, nothing about wedding

think u can google chinese traditions but jus dun 100% trust these stuff too

well, if anybody who has watched old chinese shows always got brides marry off early in the morning in 'jiao zi' carried by a large group of people with loud music and band... that's a 'tradition' that nobody does liao

and also the bride will sit in the bridal room with her red veil covering her face throughout the WHOLE session of the wedding dinner!!

 

[alcifertoh]

I think the original tradition only one Bestman and one Bridesmaid nia ba. Xiong di and jie meis seems being added in later one.

 

[booboo1010]

lol... i tot the bestman and bridesmaid was during the 80s??

 

[sgbabydoll]

Gate crashing is like a Hong Kong practice haha

 

[booboo1010]

have u guys been to wedding without gate crashing.. how to skip that part ah??

 

[sgbabydoll]

Just open the door for the bridesgroom and brothers to enter when they arrive lor.

 

[booboo1010]

Doll , u encounter that before?

 

[sgbabydoll]

Yes, almost, at my own wedding. However, my sisters and two gfs decided to play a bit of gate crashing in the end. I was inside a bedroom, and didn't even know what went on outside. So, I didn't see any point of this game.

 

[ohdarling]

some of my cousins just get whoever available to open door directly no haggle, some friends went straight to church the groom and bride meet at church, a few went overseas small wedding, a few only buffet at home.

so really depends on individual preferences, just be happy and dun think so much, one of my friend seemed so stress and nervous in her own wedding so no point doing all those extras stuff

 

[two_piece]

my wedding dun have jiemeis n gate crash too. Just my HB came with 1 of his cousin, and my auntie open door for them to come in loh, tat's all... ours was a very simple one, we didnt even bother to have the wedding dinner, save all the trouble

 

[booboo1010]

maybe i end up opening the door myself

 

[sunshinepeach]

boo boo>> Maybe I am bad.. but hor.. if u dun tell ur dad ur friends are married, he wont know, right? It's ur big day..

Maybe u dun call the married friends as "jie mei" lor.. call them helpers instead ba.. I believe in the traditions, there is nothing wrong with friends helping up with the gate crashing or helping up with a friend's wedding?

 

[powder]

simple solution...

just get 1 or 2 of those old aunties of your mum's generation to make things difficult.

of cos for your hubby side, not so fun cos no pretty girls... but wat the heck... it's stil ok mah... in the past i have attended this type and it's totally ok. of cos the aunties should be married as well... but your dad more likely to agree...

then after he agree, wait 3 days and ask your dad how come aunties married can be 'jie-mei' but your frens cannot? then suggest to let your frens join in... and on the actual day ask the aunties to step one side and let your jie-meis perform.

 

[koikoi]

wow powder like that also can ah??

but my aunties they all join in the fun leh...
ahhahhaa.... my cousin in laws all buay tahan...
hhehehe

 

[powder]

can always ask the married frens to come but call them 'helpers' instead of jie-mei... it's just a technicality.

end of the day if your 'helpers' chup chee kar and make the noise... i doubt dad is gonna notice... cos they are just helpers making noise... just dun call them jie-mei and u're fine.

 

[kahlen]

What about pay to hire professional 'jiemei'?
Get help from your bridal studios, wedding planner, make up, hair artist?

 

[booboo1010]

is there professional "jie mei"?

 

[alcifertoh]

Hire me lah professional Gate Crasher. I will tear down the door for you.

 

[kahlen]

Haha...

ps there are prof young mourners willing to take up the tasks. Send jiemei invitation cards out to your former school for help. =)

 

[kessie83]

boo boo, how much are u willing to pay to hire professional jiemeis..maybe alot of eligible girls who is dying to be ur jiemeis. keke

 

[koikoi]

boo boo,
wat powder said is correct...
when your helper chup chee kah, your dad wont say anything lor... he can't be telling them off...

fyi, i was a sister for more 8 times and I'm still happily married and continuing to be others jiemei if they dun mind...
if your bestie dun mind being your jm that day, dun keep her away... it will make your wedding more memorable to have your bestie with you...

 

[booboo1010]

haha.. i dont know there are "professional jiemeis" around.. i tot jiemeis suppose to be your cousins ,sisters or bofs.

out of curious.. anyone engage professional jiemeis before??

honestly, i was really very sad and down for few days..tears almost drop while i'm working.. but after reading u guys' responses, i perk up abit..

 

[powder]

for jie-meis dun need professional lah... it's an inborn thing... keke, making it hard for the guys... u just need anyone can liao...

 

[laundry_woes]

Ya, & guys willingly get hard too...

 

[powder]

guys LL, becos of brudderhood end up play the fool... wat to do?

 

[momiji]

boo boo,

its perfectly fine without any jiemeis or brothers for traditional chinese wedding. i told my friends and cousins that i do not want any jiemeis for my chinese wedding. my hubby also told his buddies that there will be no brothers for gate-crashing ceremony. this is not uncommon as most of my cousins also do not have gate-crashing when they married.

so on the actual day, my hubby came to my parents' house alone and my mum opened the door for him. its quite hassle-free. those aunties relatives all think that its good that there is no gate-crashing as they feel its a meaningless thing.

 

[alcifertoh]

I'll likely hope to do a Troy. Or hold the little boy that open the car door for me as hostage during the gate crash session.

 

[booboo1010]

Momiji, do you have any "helper"? if yes, its relative or friend?

 

[koikoi]

HBH,

how young is the boy?
wat if you scare him off?

 

[alcifertoh]

7-8 ba. Wouldn't lah. I'll silence him with ang pow. Now I am looking for ppl to bribe.

 

[powderful07]

Err...how about my recommendation?

Just don't tell your dad that your jie-meis are married...
Simple right? What he don't know can't hurt him...

And even if he found out on that day, what the heck can he do about it? Be a spoilsport and forbid it?

At the most, kick your dad out into the "siong di" side and get him to join in the "torture" session. That should teach him a lesson!!!