don't tell me what i believe or do not believe because i think *I* know best what i believe in.
my view is simply that "a marriage is sacred and one should at least try to salvage it"; how is it not "suitable" or "relevant"? in any case, our advice here is by default personal, and therefore is certainly influenced by our beliefs. isn't your advice due to your personal belief that "love does not require possession" etc? and my advice was certainly not "cluttered" solely by my beliefs. i believe advice should be doled out "case by case" as well. but of course! i certainly showed an "understanding of circumstances" when i observed that
1) they seem to still love each other
2) they seem to be playing mind games with each other, no honesty and communication between each other
3) it seems potatochip hasn't tried at all to save the marriage
4) it has been a month or so since the cracks surfaced. it seems too easy for an 8-year relationship to be engulfed by such a sma
just because you were able to "PREDICT" the "outcome" of this situation certainly does not make you a better "reader" of the situation! it's just the way things unfolded!
erm i disagree about my words being "nice and dandy and politically-correct" (HAHA. what POLITICS is involved here?) 'cos if i wanted to be all fairy-godmother about this, i'd tell potatochip, don't worry everything will be FINE! but of course, i can agree to disagree with you..
thank you jadeite. i really appreciate the effort! i have to say though, i'm not so much miffed because we have differing views (certainly not!), but because of the obnoxious assumptions and baseless comments that have been made, particularly at something as serious as someone else's impending failure in marriage. i could quote till the cows come home..but shan't.
i stand by my view that advice ought not be dished out in a laissez-faire manner, as seen here. and given that we do not personally know/understand the people and their problems here, we should always err on the side of caution and encourage reconciliation, unless it has certainly reached the point of impossibility, which in my view has not. (even you believe that the marriage "hasn't broken down irrevocably"!) that's all i'm trying to say here. i don't think anyone wants to, or should, carry the burden of being the devil's advocate to a stranger's failed marriage.
after all that's said, i concede that we indeed speak very different langauges.
my view is simply that "a marriage is sacred and one should at least try to salvage it"; how is it not "suitable" or "relevant"? in any case, our advice here is by default personal, and therefore is certainly influenced by our beliefs. isn't your advice due to your personal belief that "love does not require possession" etc? and my advice was certainly not "cluttered" solely by my beliefs. i believe advice should be doled out "case by case" as well. but of course! i certainly showed an "understanding of circumstances" when i observed that
1) they seem to still love each other
2) they seem to be playing mind games with each other, no honesty and communication between each other
3) it seems potatochip hasn't tried at all to save the marriage
4) it has been a month or so since the cracks surfaced. it seems too easy for an 8-year relationship to be engulfed by such a sma
just because you were able to "PREDICT" the "outcome" of this situation certainly does not make you a better "reader" of the situation! it's just the way things unfolded!
erm i disagree about my words being "nice and dandy and politically-correct" (HAHA. what POLITICS is involved here?) 'cos if i wanted to be all fairy-godmother about this, i'd tell potatochip, don't worry everything will be FINE! but of course, i can agree to disagree with you..
thank you jadeite. i really appreciate the effort! i have to say though, i'm not so much miffed because we have differing views (certainly not!), but because of the obnoxious assumptions and baseless comments that have been made, particularly at something as serious as someone else's impending failure in marriage. i could quote till the cows come home..but shan't.
i stand by my view that advice ought not be dished out in a laissez-faire manner, as seen here. and given that we do not personally know/understand the people and their problems here, we should always err on the side of caution and encourage reconciliation, unless it has certainly reached the point of impossibility, which in my view has not. (even you believe that the marriage "hasn't broken down irrevocably"!) that's all i'm trying to say here. i don't think anyone wants to, or should, carry the burden of being the devil's advocate to a stranger's failed marriage.
after all that's said, i concede that we indeed speak very different langauges.