My Mother-in-law!!


New Member
She likes to use the excuse of "the skin on my fingers are peeling so much so that it can get very painful" to avoid doing housework. And so, all she does at home is watch TV, eat and sleep.

Fine, I thought in the beginning, if she has a problem with her skin, I can do the housework since I am also staying with them (my father-in-law too, but he's okay), under their roof.

But recently it has come to a point where I think her skin excuse is just one lousy piece of crap.

To start off, she likes to tell me what to do (in terms of keeping the house clean) as if she is actively cleaning, wiping, mopping away everyday whereas I am not doing anything..

No.1 - Ants.
The ants are found crawling about on the kitchen counter and the sink and they are increasing in numbers, so MIL told me:"sweet food or any kind of food for that matter are to be thrown directly into the chute, not into the bin placed near the chute."

I still see her throwing yogurt cup, dabao food, potato chips bag and all sorts of food junk in the bin!

No.2 - Kitchen sink
MIL says to me "kitchen sink has to be wiped dry after using lest the sink surface turns rusty" (theirs is the old type HDB sink used since day one and already there are a few rusty spots)

She always washes up at the kitchen sink in the morning, happily splashing water on her face & in that process, all over the sink & nope, she doesn't wipe the sink dry after that! I strongly believe she expects me to do it because there is this morning when I PURPOSELY did not want to clean up after her and I saw that she walked over to the sink on the excuse (or maybe not) of pouring herself a glass of water and upon seeing the sink surface still wet, her forehead frowned a little.

No.3 - Bathroom hair trap (this is the part which really pisses me off enough to rant in this thread!!!)
"Pick up the hair on the trap when done bathing" says MIL.

She doesn't do it. She will only do so IF she washes her hair. If not, Like it's only when she washes her hair that you will see a cluster of them in the trap, no hair wash, no hair drop. Oh pleeeeeease! Just today after my bathe, I had to pick up a ball of hair that had been left lying on the trap for 3 full bloody days because I just refused to clean on day one, waiting to see who would do it. Why should I? I was the last to bathe and that shit was already there. FIL maybe can't be bothered, MIL didn't clear them, hubby assumed I would do it. And so it was me to clean up that bloody 3 days' shit. So much for the "Pick up hair on the trap when done bathing" rule. Who says skin peel can't pick up hair from trap?! Ever heard of a fantastic invention called gloves? Gloves that can also do wonders such as wash dishes, mop the floor, clean toilet WITHOUT hurting your peeling skin!

And there are other rules.. Now, I have no problem of any sorts doing the housework if she stops picking on me. (yes, only me because it's when hubby is not around that she'll start telling me her "keep the house clean" manual 101.) By telling me what I must do and what I mustn't do but she not doing the same, whatever rules to me, they're all crap. Really? You want to keep your house clean? Crap.

And sometimes the way she tells me things, followed by some make up lame demo, it's as if she's talking to an idiot. She doesn't understand that it is her who is acting like an idiot. Like I need to have a visual to understand what she's saying. How lame is that?

Complained to hubby about MIL. All he says is to bear with it for the time being until we get our flat, then everything will be okay. Alright fine, I don't want a confrontation between son and mother anyway. Really hoping for "then everything will be okay" to happen.

And nope, I don't want PIL to move in with us. Period.


New Member
Actually no point telling yr husband cos he dont see what we see. I think u should act blur or find some excuse to be away. The more u do she will treat it like it naturally your duty and it will be a must for u to do all these chores. I used to help my mil to wash the dishes until my hand now got allergy to the detergent. So rough ans itch until my doc tell me to stop doing the washing. When i told her this she can told me in the face dont leave a single bowl or cup in the sink. I used to help her hang the laundry. Guess what she can washes up to 3 cycle of clothes for me to hang outside. Can u imagine it so heavy and i had an operation before doc advise not to carry to heavy stuff it will affect my womb. Aft i had a child my whole attention is on taking care of my child therefore i dont really help her with chores. Know what when my bro in law came back fr states to stay with mil he can complaint to my husband tat i dont help his mother on chores. If my mil is kind enough she should hv told him i did but she didn't. I so pissed off so now i officially dont want to help her do chores she dont deserve my help cos she dont appreciate and care for me.


New Member
Mrs Tan, you're right.. hubbies won't understand what we all are going through. If their mom nags at them to a point where they can't take it, they can talkback and they'll at least feel better after that. But I (and I believe most of us wives) can't and this makes me feel like I'm a mute. No matter how angry I felt, I can't argue with her. And this makes my blood boil to the highest temp!

I did act blur, re. the hair. It was on the floor for 3 days, can you imagine. I think it would still be there if I didn't clear it. I'm the heroine, hahahaha! Already, she is taking for granted that it is my duty to help out with the chores around the house.

You know, yesterday we were having dinner and again because of her skin problem, she doesn't wash the dishes. So, after she finished eating, I told her to leave the bowl there and that I will wash up when I'm done with mine. She took what I said at face value & left her bowl, cutlery on the dining table and out she went to the living room to watch the tv! What is this? Shouldn't she at least bring them to the sink, no? Even when teaching a small kid table manners, you'll teach them to bring their own fork, spoon, bowl and all the what not to the sink after finished eating so that an adult can wash them, right? Frankly I was stunned by her action. @_@

For yourself, you can definitely ignore your bro in law's complain. He is oblivious to the things that you had done for the house having been away prior to these issues. Your MIL may be a little tricky to handle since you see her everyday. But really, so long as you think you have done your part & you feel good about it, don't bother about the rest. At least you still have your kid to look after & play with.
And of course, taking care of yourself is way more important than minding if there are cups in the sink or clothes are not hung out to dry. How else then to have a playmate for your baby if you don't take care of yourself, right.

Anyway, are you guys planning to move out anytime soon? I think with kids, there will be another set of problem (not just on doing housework) with PIL that will surface.


New Member
I hate my mother in law.
My husband is the eldest in the family (he has only younger bro).
Initially everything was ok and I looked forward into marrying and staying with his mom.
But things changed one week before our weddings. (I just got married in October 2010).
2 major dramas before my wedding:

1) Two of my husband maternal uncles offered to provide wine wholesaler contact no. (I think there was a competition between two of them or they are getting some commission or something).We actually went to the wine wholesalers, but their services were bad. They never provide delivery and pick up of unused wine. No wine tasting and the salesman who was in charge went out for lunch despite that we told him that we will be there during lunch hour. (we even sacrificed our lunch hour so that we can this list strike off from our to do list) So we decided to look for another wine wholesaler. I managed to find one in the internet. Not only he provides delivery, he also very knowledgeable about wines and was able to give us a sound advice during the wine tasting. My MIL is not happy with it, she keeps on insisting us to purchase from the wine wholesaler recommended by his brother.
2) We were looking for flower girls, and our young nieces were the perfect and 1st choice for that role. We asked permission from my husband’s auntie (his mom sister) during the family reunion which she agreed immediately. However when my husband tried to call her one week after the reunion, she was reluctant and gave a ambiguous message and asked whether we want her daughters to be flower girls. Of coz we want them to the flower girls, if we not why we would bother to give u a call and offered to fetch them during the rehearsal.
so my husband asked his auntie to think about it and let him know. However she never called him back. So during the rehearsal when the wedding planner asked for the flower girls, I suggested my young niece instead.

Because of these reasons, my mil scolded me one morning after my then BF (now husband) left for work (I stayed at his house previous night). She even said I didn’t do things properly. I was stunned and very sad, so I asked her for the aunt’s phone no, so I can call his sister and personally asked her again. But she refused and scolded me even more.
I went up to my husband’s room and give him a call with the purpose of telling my husband to get his auntie no from his mom.
My husband called my MIL and they had an argument over that.
This resulted her in hating me more. She screamed at me and asked me to go away and leave. I apologized to her, even though that wasn’t my fault. I still do not think that I am wrong.

My husband rushed back from work and she scolded me even more. My husband was kind enough to protect me. This made her to screamed even louder n shut the door.
Subsequent to that, she has been treating me like a transparent. And didn’t even want to talk to me despite I have been constantly making the effort to talk to her.

Actually I have suffered her verbal abuse long before that, she said my pre wedding pic was ugly, most of my decisions are wrong according to her .Also my actual day gowns are very ugly. She actually said that after my first march in, when were sitting in the bridal table. Can you imagine my feeling at that point of time. Why must u say something so awful during my biggest night. If you don have anything nice thing to say, then just keep quiet.

After I moved in with her, I helped her washed and folded the clothes for her. I accidentally put my younger bro pants together with her clothes (my husband used to sleep at my house and wear my younger bro pants back to his house), she scolded me and said “ THIS PANTS BELONG TO YOUR SIDE.. YOUR SIDE,, WHY PUT IT HEREâ€. I was stunned and speechless. What do you mean by your side ? I thought we are family now ? and please it was just an honest mistake. Why must make a big fuss out of it ?

Every time I talked to her and called her she will just treat me as invisible. She made me lose all my respects towards her. But for my husband’s sake, I still treat her nice.(for e.g. buy her food, when her leg was injured, washed her clothes, cleaned the house and her room, clean the toilet) Coz I want husband to be happy and doesn’t feel trapped between both of us.

I really really want to move out. coz I am really worry that I will not be able to take it anymore and life is short. I do not want to spend my everyday living in fear and sadness.
Thanks for listening.. feel so much relief now.


New Member
hi going crazy ..
I reading what you have mention above..
I begin to feel very worry. I am btb next yr march and after wedding I have to move in to live with My HTB Family... I dun like the feeling of Ji ren li xia feeling ...but I have can't do anything as He is the the only son in the family.. I haven't move in already feel the pressure on me .. everyday I was wondering how am I going to cope with it.. there is so many peoples living in the house .. definately will have conflict ... I really really in a dilema ...


New Member
Don't worry. Not every MIL are like that.

My MIL is my travel buddy these days since both of us are husband-less, we went on 3vacations together to visit our husbands (my FIL and my bf) while they are working.

In Singapore, we spend our weekends together, visiting tile factories, kitchen furniture factories. We dine at restaurants since she taught me how to spend our husband's money (ie her son).

We can both walk around semi-naked in the hotel/apartment together like nobody's biz. We compete with each other with yoghurt drinking contest to see who goes to the toilet first. Sometimes she massage me when i'm naked and i massage her when she's naked too. Anyway nothing much to lose, i have a nicer body than hers.

My take is treat her like a friend with due respect. OH by the way, my bf is only son too. We bought a house and took them in while they rented out their apartments so i don't have the Ji Ren Li Xiang feeling maybe she'll feel that way but i purposely built 2 masterbedrooms of equal size so each of us will have 1 which is fair. There'll be 4 ppl living in our house (MIL FIL bf and me with 4dogs)so i don't know, does this sound congested?


New Member
That's why I feel the strong need to actually have a house with my bf next time.
but he seems to want to stay with his parents.

He's staying in a landed property(2 storey house)
and he told me if he's getting married or what, he would build another level and that makes the 3rd level.

having the 3rd level for us doesn't mean there will not be any mother-in-law kind of issue right!!!