my fiancé is second thoughts about marriage

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by pasteldaisy, May 18, 2018.

  1. pasteldaisy

    pasteldaisy New Member

    my fiancé and I have been together for 8 years now and our wedding is 5 months away.

    We broke up once and got back together after a year apart. It’s been 3 years since we got back together.

    However, just this week, we had a heart to heart talk. He’s thinking about a lot about the marriage like “what if the marriage between us doesn’t work out”?

    He asked for 1 week cool off period to think about whether this is really what we want.

    Please advise what should I do?
     


  2. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    Anything you can think of that led to this? A bad argument?

    Fyi how old are you both?
     
  3. pasteldaisy

    pasteldaisy New Member

    I am 26 and he is 27.

    No, we did not quarrel. The reasons that could lead to this could be because he feels that I do not fully trust him which I admitted to (because he cheated on me once) Another thing is that he may not be physically there for me when I need him as his job requires him to be away for a month or two at every one time. Honestly, I do not need him to be physically there all the time as I understand his job nature.
     
  4. sketched kisses

    sketched kisses New Member

    Is he in the navy?

    Oh dear, what are your own thoughts about this ?
     
  5. pasteldaisy

    pasteldaisy New Member

    Not navy, but close.

    My thoughts are that we really need to sit down and talk about it :(
     
  6. sketched kisses

    sketched kisses New Member


    you really should. imo, i feel it would be hard to ever trust him fully again. there's always a possibility of you looking over his shoulder to see who he's texting, being slightly uncertain and uneasy when he's away, etc. to what extent must he go that you would consider him to be cheating? i mean, some girls have 'higher tolerance' as compared to others and interpret the word 'cheating' very differently.

    but i'm not sure if you'd want to go through life and your marriage like that.

    perhaps you should ask him why he is the one being uncertain that the marriage won't work out. what are his concerns?
    afterall, you've been dating him for 8 years which is a pretty long time. do you know him well and vice versa?
     
  7. pasteldaisy

    pasteldaisy New Member

    Thanks babe for this! Would also like to share that we will be calling off the wedding and we will be ending the relationship. The only root cause of this is because I love him more than he loves me that’s why I’m the one who’s more willing to compromise and accommodate. I have decided that I do not want to enter a marriage with an absent Husband.
     
    miloice and newproject like this.

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