My bf broke up with me & asked me to seek opinion on forums

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by Clara Ong, May 22, 2018.

  1. Clara Ong

    Clara Ong New Member

    My bf broke up with me two months ago. The reason he gave was because he does not trust me anymore. He said he doesnt trust me for messaging his family member whenever we he blocked me from contacting him when he had disagreements or angry with me.

    The fact was that I panicked whenever he did the disappearing act or blocked me til I had no way to explain myself. I didnt want to lose him.

    First time i did it tactfully and asked his bro in law whom i knew because of one business transaction. I told him “we were aupposedly to meet somewhere but I have been waiting outside very long and cldnt reach him”. After the incident was over, i did show my bf the actual msg n he wasnt angry. But during breakup, he said it was actually serious and he didnt want to penalise me cos im his first gf.

    Second time was more serious when he stopped contact for a week. I fb msged his mum whom i had not met asking if i cld visit him.

    He said these were the ultimate reasons he absolutely wanted to breakup with me cos of loss of trust and he sweared to all the Gods that he will not let me get close to him to make any amends.

    He then asked me to post in forum to get views if wat I do cant be pardoned. Was I really too much?
     


  2. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    You guys sound childish. How long you two together? I think the question to ask why you two keep blocking each other.
     
  3. Clara Ong

    Clara Ong New Member

    He is the only one blocking me when he wanted to end the relationship. I never block him. Sorry maybe i got some typos.
     
  4. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    How long you two together? He block how many times?
     
  5. miloice

    miloice Well-Known Member

    Blocking happens when one feels harassed. Now, a bf that disappeared without good reason, you should be cool abt it. The more you cling on, the less you will be valued. This is human psychology. Anyway, maybe you can share what is so good abt your bf that you need to hang on the relationship?
     
  6. Rester

    Rester New Member

    Ehh first thing first. Never contact ur bf/gf family members unless you are really close with them liao each an everyone of us is entitled to our private space and unless you have been invited into that space, do not trans pass it. 2nd thing if ur bf blocks u, realize that this relationship can be toxic. It indicates that he does not respect you as a partner i feel.

    but than again this is my own opinion might be wrong but base on my own immature acts before, i have learnt that respect for the other party in terms of how you communicate and treat them is pretty important.
     
    miloice and newproject like this.
  7. iygnix

    iygnix New Member

    Personally, I think contacting his mom, whom you have never met, is likely the triggering factor for him? One thing about guys is they care a lot about their face and ego. So when you contacted his mum in this way, it probably 'bruised' his face and ego.

    However, I think blocking someone just because of an argument is childish. If someone does that, you know that you cannot spend a whole life with this person because communication is important in every r/s. By blocking you off, it just shows he doesn't want to make the effort to make things right. Still, take it as a chance to reflect also. Although you do not want to lose a person, but do know each of us are individuals and different, some don't mind being clingy, while some needed a bit of their own space. Must learn to respect each other's differences.

    Jiayou! :)
     
  8. buddhabar

    buddhabar Active Member

    TS, i think you two are not ready at all for a relationship. Your bf is very childish, he choose to run away from problems. Blocking your call and breaking contact shows it all. He aint reliable, what if you are some kind of trouble and needed him to save you? Where is he? Until he is ready face problems , which exist in every relationship, he is just too inmature to handle relationship. Frankly you come across as a potential stalker, infact you are already one, just harmless at this point in time. There will be times when someone will not be available, that is reality and likely meant to be. Getting a panic attack just because you cant get contact of your bf is abnormal. Its a compulsive behavior. Its best you seek medical advice before it becomes your second nature. I have seen OCD comsumed marriages because a normal person may be able to live with it. Its far too imposing
     
    newproject likes this.
  9. FeelBullied

    FeelBullied New Member

    Do not understand why you still want to make amend. He has dumped you.
    He is not the only guy out there. I guess you should do some self reflection too. Otherwise, I don't see you having successful relationship ahead too.

    The moment a girl bother the bf family members of his actions, you already killed the relationship. Got it.
    For goodness sake, keep your god out of your relationship.
     

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