Mixed feelings...

insecure_me

New Member
Hi all,

Was having problems to post but now I can finally post.

I need some guidance as well as I’m having mixed feelings.

Ever since my hub started on this new role, things have changed.

1) He stopped wearing his wedding ring claiming it is too tight - is that really possible? He didn’t put on alot

2) He started doing a lot exercise in abit to lose weight.

3) He started to mind his hair, his face, his clothings.

4) His job requires him to travel - always last min arrangements.

5) His job requires him to build rapport with vendors - sometimes also last min arrangements.

6) He responds to me in an irritable way.

7) He brings his phone into the toilet claiming he is responding to his boss

8) He buys extra set of breakfast claiming that is for his female boss as sometimes she also buy for him.

Although he still does his obligations to send me to work, other than that, I feel very neglected as his whole world now resolved around his job and entertainments.

Because of this, I became insecure and sometimes makes a fuss about his travel and entertainments which sometimes end around 3am and once during weekend.

Finally, he lost it and said he is sick and tired of me ringing him when he is outside (I rang only because he said he will be back at 11pm but 12am he is still not home) He said going forward, he will just inform me and if I am upset, he doesn’t care.

I asked him if he wants a seperation, he replied saying he is ok if I want it. I don’t want it but I will do it if he no longer loves me. I asked if there is 3rd party, he said no.

Fast forward, I busted him on one of his trips to Thailand. He said going with a guy friend. But he refused to show me his phone to proof his innocence. Given that we were at the shaky stage, I let it go. He assured me there is no 3rd party.

However, I planted a gps in the car and can see he has been ferrying someone home before coming to pick me. As a result, I always have to wait till 7pm.

I’m really at a loss. He said he wants this family and will use actions to prove it. But even till now, I can feel the disconnect between us and him lying thru his teeth.

Despite subtle messages that I tell him time will reveal everything, he still do all these. I feel that his heart is no longer here but yet he still constantly assures me that he want his family. Is he just waiting for me to catch him?
 


insecure_me

New Member
Hi all

I’m getting messages that my post cannot be replied. If you would like to give advises, feel free to PM me. I’m still sorting this out with admin.

Thank you for reading my story
 

insecure_me

New Member
Has anyone hired Pi and then confronted and gave a 2nd chance? I have not confronted yet but the images keep replaying in my mind. Is there any health counseling we can go to? I’m going crazy
 
First, don’t over think so much. The truth is already out. Plan your moves. What do you want from this relationship? Do you want to patch up with your husband or you want a divorce?

If you both plan to patch up, you can try marriage counselling, chat on what went wrong with the marriage. Talk out with your husband, the steps on how you both are gonna patch back. Also, you have to be mentally prepared that you might slowly turn into a control freak while trying to gain your husband trust.

If I were you, I won’t tell my husband that I engaged a PI to track him. I’ll just just him that one of your friends saw you with another woman doing blah blah blah (you have the photos, you can say according to the photos you have), let him know that you know there’s a third party. Ask to stop lying if he denies or ask him to prove he is not cheating. If he confess and he want you and the family, you both can talk out what is wrong and find a counsellor. If he continues to deny or he admits but he doesn’t wants the family, you can use those PI photos as prove.

You don’t wanna make a mistake in this, as if he finds out, he will be smarter next time round when he cheats.

Also, are there photos of him kissing/ holding hand with the girl? Or it’s mostly just him and the girl together? Because even with the photos, he might be able to deny.
 

insecure_me

New Member
First, don’t over think so much. The truth is already out. Plan your moves. What do you want from this relationship? Do you want to patch up with your husband or you want a divorce?

If you both plan to patch up, you can try marriage counselling, chat on what went wrong with the marriage. Talk out with your husband, the steps on how you both are gonna patch back. Also, you have to be mentally prepared that you might slowly turn into a control freak while trying to gain your husband trust.

If I were you, I won’t tell my husband that I engaged a PI to track him. I’ll just just him that one of your friends saw you with another woman doing blah blah blah (you have the photos, you can say according to the photos you have), let him know that you know there’s a third party. Ask to stop lying if he denies or ask him to prove he is not cheating. If he confess and he want you and the family, you both can talk out what is wrong and find a counsellor. If he continues to deny or he admits but he doesn’t wants the family, you can use those PI photos as prove.

You don’t wanna make a mistake in this, as if he finds out, he will be smarter next time round when he cheats.

Also, are there photos of him kissing/ holding hand with the girl? Or it’s mostly just him and the girl together? Because even with the photos, he might be able to deny.

The Pi assured me that the photos and videos are good evidence. I want to patch back but it also depends on his attitude. Right now, he is not consistent in his actions. I can feel that his heart and soul is totally not with me. Which is normal. But what I don’t understand is, is he just waiting for me to say the D word?
 

nanastar

New Member
The Pi assured me that the photos and videos are good evidence. I want to patch back but it also depends on his attitude. Right now, he is not consistent in his actions. I can feel that his heart and soul is totally not with me. Which is normal. But what I don’t understand is, is he just waiting for me to say the D word?

As you said, you feel that his heart and soul is not with you. How are you going to make things work if it’s one sided?

Maybe he is not waiting for you to divorce him. He is just trying to see if he can get the best of both world.
 

xoxo1

New Member
Hi insecure_me, sorry to hear your plight. How/What was his attitude towards you before his job/role switch? How long have you been married and do u have any children?
 

insecure_me

New Member
Dear All

Thanks for your kind advises and comfort. Today I finally confronted him. But he showed no signs of remorse. Even said you want to blow Big, let’s do it. Let’s go divo. :(
 

Cath_rina

Member
Dear All

Thanks for your kind advises and comfort. Today I finally confronted him. But he showed no signs of remorse. Even said you want to blow Big, let’s do it. Let’s go divo. :(

These are local men you are talking about. It's time for the women's charter to do its work.
 

insecure_me

New Member
These are local men you are talking about. It's time for the women's charter to do its work.
Woman’s charter does not work in favor for those women who earns more than the husband. Latest update, he has moved out and staying with his parents. They tell me to give him some time. How to give when he is still happily going out with her
 

Dan B

New Member
Woman’s charter does not work in favor for those women who earns more than the husband. Latest update, he has moved out and staying with his parents. They tell me to give him some time. How to give when he is still happily going out with her
You told his parents? Sounds like a divorce or seperation is inevitable
 

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