Hi guys, i am planning for a wedding end of next yr but even before all the crazy planning and venue hunting happen, i already have quite a weird mindset abt the purpose of weddings and im not sure if this is normal and hope to get advice here. With my current bf for 4years now and wedding seems to be the next step (also due to my parents' pressure). 2 years ago i was rly keen on getting married soon, buy a house, spend some time alone before having kids. But now I am starting to have second thoughts abt it. Due to some last minute out of control issues with finances, both of us are tight on cash currently. Not poor but can still afford decent meals at restaurants (max $20/pax approx) sometimes. Also because of the above, I started to feel the below points: - I didn't want any banquet at first. Those are pointless as it's just a waste of cash which you're not guaranteed to recoup. (We still had to go with it because bf's side) - Wedding dinners do not guarantee how well your marriage will turn out. You can have the best wedding dinner, ring, proposal or the entire experience, trying to make it look as perfect as possible, but ultimately if your marriage ends up in ashes, so does all of the money you spent on that wedding dinner. - I didn't want engagement ring /diamond ring anymore as it is, again, money.... maybe maximum just a cheap wedding band if we really have to for the solemnisation. - Also do not need any proposal since we already bought our house and there's literally no way of backing out from that "unspoken" proposal since we signed the house (unless want to pay that penalty) lol. - whats the purpose of a proposal and a banquet? I don't see why girls / couples get so excited/dreamy and some even unrealistic expectations about it. - why bother going through all the hassle of the Guo Da Li or the traditions that follows? - why do people even get married? - why do people do all these just for a marriage that you have no guarantee how if it is really gg to be as how you imagined it to be and it's gonna be so much more hard work than whatever the heck you're putting in now. all of those things need money so why bother? I told my bf, save the money for the mortgage loan payments, and save those effort to help me out with our home & children in future. Before this, to me, a wedding banquet & a proposal is a must for me. I want to experience what friends / people on facebook posted. I wanted a wedding diamond ring & wedding bands. I was excited for the day to come when we start planning. I imagined how my proposal would be. Now that it is abt time, but with no luxury of spending much, i ended up thinking deeper and more abt the purpose of weddings and i became really disinterested in the whole thing. All these seems so negative and like I have no assurance / i have some serious trust issues?? But I'm a girl lah, so i will still envision and expect a bit but that's abt it. I eventually felt that being more practical (as per points above) would be a more sensible thing to do. But at the same time, i do qn myself if i will ever regret this. Lol. A decent $40k budget for the entire wedding is possible in our limits. But whether isit $40k or $20k, regardless, it still doesn't change my mentality. Is this normal ? Do I have trust issues w marriage in general? Is it because he's not the one? Im not sure how to tell that apart either. Thank you.