Mils bullying Dils with words!!!


stanzza

New Member
Galileo Girl,

I agree with Milo. You have very low EQ. I'm not trying to degrade you, but raise it as a matter of fact so that you can see that you had created some of the problem (or worsen it).

You fail to detect that your MIL had eat the humble pie first by persuading with you.

You fail to detect that you are creating as much negativity within the family and escalating it.

You fail to realised that relationship is > being right in a family setting.

U r just as wrong and difficult person to live with, as much as how you portray your MIL is.

Would you agree that you r a difficult person to live with also?
 

galileo_girl

New Member
About the chiping in of money to buy a flat for pil, the rest of the siblings never initiate wanting to fork out money, they all expect my husband to foot everything. Pil got some savings but they want my husband to foot everything.

I told my husband that I am prepared to endure the tension rather than he fork out an astronomical sum to buy a house for them. So I told husband that I will complain lesser to him, I am prepared to endure for the sake of money.
Buying a house in Singapore is extremely expensive and with the new housing guidelines imposed, we have too many things to consider.

I concede that I am not a good Dil, but how to be good when Mil keep continuing her battle of words against me? She told me that last time my husband promised her he wont get married. I hear already in high dungeon, that promise was made before I met my husband, its very obvious my Mil dont like Dils, she perceive them as home wreckers, she also has problems with my other sil, but she hates me the most, as we stay together.

She tells me that ever since my husband marrys me, he gives her less money compared to the past he very generous.She say that a son filiality towards parents will depend on if the wife is good or not. Then last time my husband filial to her, she say nothing to do with me as he is filial by nature. Now her son less filial, she put all the blame on me.She said last time her son very generous towards her before he marry me, she say I brainwashed her son give her less money.
Her son good, its not my merit, her son bad, its my fault. She also tell me that the other son generous to her last time, after marriage less generous. Then she blame on dils.
 

simpleman

Active Member
It tough.. but coward to hide while two women fight..

Galileo,

You don't suppose your MIL's behaviour is a reflection of how your HB is behaving? Yes, MIL could be a monster and partly because her son allowed her to be so.

But you chose such a HB, who to blame?
 

galileo_girl

New Member
Who Me

What is wrong with using words like abode, propensity and proliferating?

Abode means home

Propensity meaning tendency

Proliferating means sudden increase.

To me, these words are normal, you see them in Straits Times every now and then.
 

simpleman

Active Member

"About the chiping in of money to buy a flat for pil, the rest of the siblings never initiate wanting to fork out money, they all expect my husband to foot everything. Pil got some savings but they want my husband to foot everything. "


Is your HB such a wimp. He got to influence and force all the other siblings to have a share - unless he is filthy rich which he is obviously not.

Again, you marry such a man whom willingly shoulder everything when he is not capable of doing so..
 

kittenpie

New Member
Galileo,

dont just see the obstacles.

take two steps back and look for the solutions.

you most probably have not looked hard enough and tried hard enough to get the solution.

yes, the process may require labour and additional trouble, but if the sight of MIL spoils your appetite, you got to pay the price to ship her away.
 

matka

Member
SM, you can probably guess that... if what his mother says is true - that he once promised her never to get married. (!!!)

For monkhood, for priesthood or for any other reason that is for himself, I can understand. But a promise for his mother? I simply can't.
 

galileo_girl

New Member
Simpleman,

My husband also allow me to be monster. Got many times i pour grievances to my husband about his mother bully me with words without me antagonizing her,and I kept quiet, never refute, I asked him to interpose, ask his mother stop verbally attack me, he refused. He said it will exacerbate the whole situation as mil already very insecured, she will be heart broken if he interpose.

So I gave him a dressing down, we fought over this, in tears and bruises, he said that he will not interfere, he said next time if his mother verbal attack me again, he asked me to refute, to attack back.

Same Same, he also wont berate me if I verbally attack his mother.He said he is really tired of all these domestic conflicts.
 

simpleman

Active Member
I never see the use of "proliferating" to indicate "sudden increase" in divorce rates..

Divorce rates could be increasing, but they are not "proliferating".

I don't think it is appropriate use of the word.

And another rule - use simpler words if it is possible.
 

simpleman

Active Member
galileo,

Simple. You chose such a husband.

Either you have to live with the situation or shift out or you divorce your hb.
 

kittenpie

New Member
why are we critiqueing her English? why the lecture on vocabulary?

she has her own style. i find her bombastic style unique and fun to read in a way. much more fun than the flat and dry and uninspired prose most of us write in.
 

kittenpie

New Member
Why are you criticizing us?

=============================

im not criticising. im stating my preference for her interesting writing style.
 

galileo_girl

New Member
YESSS!!!! My husband is indeed a wimp. He is an imbecile who let my in law exploit him. He says he doesnt want to voice out to ask the rest to chip in as it will sour their relationship.

He says he wants harmony.My husband is a very good man, good in everything, no bad habits, an enterprising man who have high dreams, mild to almost no temper man, no philandering, no clubbing, no friends, very homely, and quite nice looking, tall and lanky, and financially stable, although not filthy rich, a promising man
but except that when coming to family matters,
HE IS A WIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats why I contemplate about divorce many times.

There is really no perfect martian in this universe.
 

simpleman

Active Member

why are we critiqueing her English? why the lecture on vocabulary?

oops.. this is not criticizing? OK lor.

I am also stating my preference for writing style. You can have preference, and we can't? You were asking "why?"
 

kittenpie

New Member
financially stable, although not filthy rich, a promising man

````````````````````````````

ask him to make more money so that he can make his parents move out.

"promising"? promising is only as good as what is ultimately delivered.

you contemplate? why be a wimp in limiting yourself "contemplating". tell your husband about your thoughts on divorce. ask for feedback.

if he is spurred to action, you have weight in his heart. if he is unstirred, this "promising man" is utterly worthless to you.

so just do it. dont just think and talk. do something about it.
 

kittenpie

New Member
I don't think it is appropriate use of the word.

And another rule - use simpler words if it is possible.

========================================

in contrast to you, i do not introduce writing RULES to fellow forummers.

i only voice preference.

dont talk your age like a pedantic schoolteacher. i thought you were more youthful and fun than that!
 

goldfishtee

New Member
Hi Galileo, you can continue to point out the bad things about your MIL, we already got the idea, so she is baaad, you're bad DIL cos she's a bad MIL. But this type of rantings will bring you nowhere.

If you really want to get out, consider of buying or renting other place to stay with your husband. You can cut down your IL allowance if necessary. Do not sacrifice your happiness for money. You're very lucky if money can solve your problem.

Lastly, you need to accept your MIL as she is. Be thankful to her, for she's the one who brought your husband to this world, who raised and nurtured him with all the good quality that he has otherwise you wouldn't chose him as your husband. Once you learn to let go, your life will be much happier.
 

galileo_girl

New Member
Haha!!! May, you also got use bombastic words. Thats why I remember you. Thanks for your compliments.

In fact, I have a penchant for using more profound words when coming to writing something, its my protocol for writing, its indeed mundane to read simple English all the times.

By the way, the vocabulary words I used are all found in Straits times or Dan Brown books, its normal words to me. I also enjoy reading people writing with a more intensve high command of Englsih, because languages are beautiful,should make full use of the good vocab words.

And using big words or a more interesting writing style will stimulate one's mind coming to an intellectual conversation.

Simple man, proliferation definition is a sudden increase in amount or something. Albeit you have never seen the word proliferation in using to describe divorce rates, that does not means its wrong to use this word on divorce rates. A vocabulary word can sometimes be very ambiguous on usage. You still have alot to learn.

BY the way, its my prerogative to use my choice of words here, as long as there is no vulgarities, profanities, used on anyone.
I dont see why I have to comply to your demands about using simple english, as nowadays its a norm for netizens to express their words whatsoever bombastic or not.

Cheers May, ignore simpleman request. We continue with our choice of writing style and words.
 

galileo_girl

New Member
By the way, the administrator did not restrict the use of strong vocabulary words here.
Simpleman, you should be magnanimous to embrace people of different educational and intellectual group here, look, I think you got a problem here, if you say I am a bad Dil, it can be we share different perceptives on family values, but if you are here to criticise me of not using simple English, its very easy, dont read my post because it's all Greek to you.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Galileo, there wasn't a sudden spike in divorce rate. It has increased steadily by the year. You feel that it is a sudden increase because you have been contemplating divorce recently and start paying attention to divorce statistics. Anyway, there is no need to pay attention to the rate of divorce. It has nothing to do with you yet.
 

simpleman

Active Member
Don't also just dance around your words.

I don't think it is appropriate use of the word.

And another rule - use simpler words if it is possible.


You could have stated the above in the first instance.. but instead you use "Why?" And then said that you are only voicing your preferences. If you are ONLY voicing your preferences, why the need for the "whys?".

I don't care much about how people are writing.. some write atrocious English and I don't normally comment..

But I do believe that English is for communication.. that is the main purpose here.. and if you can communicate better with better choice of words.. why not?

In this instance, as tomasulu has pointed out on the choice of words. Normally I wouldn't even comment.

But she was defending the choice of words.. and that was why I responded because I don't think it was appropriate to use at least one of the words (proliferating).

If someone is prepared to discuss about the choice of words.. surely you can't expect us to sit quietly and not respond..

I am definitely not an English teacher. I am not even good in my English but at least I can share what I think is good and appropriate in the right situation.
 

simpleman

Active Member
galileo,

I am not criticizing your English. Someone made a point about some words you used. And then you "defended". If you defend your choice of words then you can' expect us to sit and not comment?

There are many more people writing much much worse - but I never comment about their English. Because they are probably struggling to "communicate with us" - we try to make do with whatever.

However, if you case, apparently you know the meaning of those words.. I am just saying that "proliferating" is not appropriate because there is "no sudden increase" in the divorces.. yes, it is rising.. but more at a steady rate.. so the use of the word is inappropriate.. that is all.

If you can't take comments.. then well, there is your choice.. But you can't stop other people from commenting when we have good reasons to comment
 

galileo_girl

New Member
By the way, Simpleman

You said you ask for a preference, but dont you think its weird asking for such preference?

I also never ask for a preference for you to not write simple english.

I think you should read up the book written by John Gray Mars versus Venus.Man and woman are different, Man seek for solutions, women seek for solace when facing problems.

I am here to rant, not here to pick a fight with you and Milo.
 

simpleman

Active Member
Galileo,

You are talking more and more crap. It is ok to use whatever words you want.. but at least have the capability to write it properly.

I am not an English teacher but some of your choice of words.. are plainly wrong. If you want to write flowering English, at least have the decency to write grammatically correct English and with the correct spelling.

Last time, I was very gullible and naive,my mil have the propensity

My advise to all is never stay with in laws.

What is "Last time" ? P6 students won't even use such a term as "Last time".

And "advise".. it is a verb.. Should be "advice" if you want to use as noun.
 

galileo_girl

New Member
Simpleman,

So what if proliferation is not meant for divorce rates? But what I meant is sudden increase, indeed in recent years there is a sudden increase in divorce rates, and what is wrong with abode and propensity? These are all norm words, you can see them on mediacorp drama subtitle.
 

simpleman

Active Member
Who wants to fight with you. Only your MIL wants to fight with you.

But you can rant. You have a right. We also have a right to comment.

You are so self-centred to think that you are the only one in this universe?

And for goodness-sake, if you want to quote authors or books, quote correctly

The book is:
"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"

and not "Mars versus Venus"
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
sm, as he wrote a series of books, i'm giving her the benefit of the doubt its one of his other books that I'm not aware of.

But the selective reading is blaringly clear.

btw, the author himself is divorced. Divorce doesn't indicate a success or failure. People just need to make the right decisions to be happy. Even if it means divorce.
 

simpleman

Active Member
gallileo,

So, you have the stats for sudden increase in divorce rates? Show us.

OK.. if you really mean to use "sudden increase" - then you are right.. I am Wrong.

But show me the stats that there is sudden increase..

I did not comment on abode and propensity.. I would not use such words but again it is your perogative.. I have no comments.

And don't get me on mediacorp subtitle.. there are many craps there..
 

kittenpie

New Member
it doesnt matter who understands who or who is good or bad or who is right or wrong.

it matters who is happy in the end.

get happy!
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Galileo, OK, so what if divorce rate has proliferated or increased suddenly? How do you interpret the statistics? Does it mean that you should divorce too?
 

kittenpie

New Member
Ms Galileo,

do you have children or do you intend to have children?

if childcare chores are of concern to you, you could keep your PIL around earmarking them as caregivers.

dont write them off just yet, they could redeem themselves in future
 

galileo_girl

New Member
Its normal to make some grammatical mistakes or spelling errors, and those errors I made is not like really big blunders. Its just very minor errors, why are you picking such a big fuss over it?

I also did not even correct your english, why dont you give tuition in English to students since you like correcting? I think I write almost properly except for some typo error, by the way, I am not writing for the press now, and stop portraying yourself as an editor,to give me this dumb english lesson.
 

simpleman

Active Member
But how to be happy when you are fighting silly battles everyday?

It is OK. She wants to rant.. then rant.

She is entitled to it. The only thing is that if she cannot take our comments, just ignore us.. what so difficult?
 

simpleman

Active Member
Like I said, I don't normally correct other people.. but you chose to "defend your English" - mean you think you are damn super-duper.. to be able to use flowery words.

Actually it is not simple blunders you are making. Your sentences construction are full of errors and your English teacher will have a field day. I am not even highlighting those.

Obviously, you don't know where you stand.. how good is your English.. you have very little self-awareness.

I am picking a big fuss because you think you are good in writing the way you are writing - but obviously you are not. If you did not pretend to be able to write well, I don't even bother..
 

galileo_girl

New Member
I am here to rant and not give sm baby doll what statistics. Seriously, both of you are extremely infantile,maturity level worse than my precocious niece. I am here to rant on in law problems, I am not interested to prove to you any statistics.

I am not interested to stoop to your level of insanity, and you two speak as you are so matured, chastise me being self centred, but now you both are showing animosity to a complete stranger here, ridiculous and absurd.

If you dont like reading my post, dont read, dont respond, this is my thread. I am not responding to your post, simple man baby doll, and perhaps milo, as it is tantamount to insulting my intelligence communicating with you people.Period.
 

simpleman

Active Member
Keep on ranting..

Sorry, no such thing as "your thread".. Yes, you started it but it is not exclusive to you alone.

We don't spout profanity or anything to that effect.

We have very right to post here.

Talking about infantile behaviour.. aiyo.. "my thread" you cannot play with it..
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
"I am here to rant and not give sm baby doll what statistics."

Didn't I say earlier that Galileo isn't here for a solution.

Thanks for proving me right, Galileo, that you do not need any solution!!! You have finally done something right, so, my heartfelt congratulations.

But let me remind you that for goodness sake, statistics without the right interpretation, means nothing. Stop borrowing the strength of statistics to make your posts look meaningful. It doesn't work.

For goodness sake, this is a public forum. You start a thread but the thread doesn't belong to you. If you want to own something you write, blog it but block it from the public eyes. Why do you even need something as simple as ABC to be highlighted for you so blatantly, dear modern woman?
 

stanzza

New Member
Galileo Girl,

do you realised that you have problems on your side as well? Quite serious problem from what I read in your post? I agree that u r self-centered and egoistic. At least, that's the impression I had.

We seek to improve ourselves first before demanding from others...

Say, let's talk about siblings demanding you and your hubby to fork out all the money to buy a house for IL.

Put it this way, if I am one of the sibling, and I know you cannot get along with the IL and plotted to get rid of them, do you think I would have good feelings about you?

Most importantly, do you think I would chip in money so that you can chase the elderly out?

Could it be this way?

It would be a totally separate topic if it was a amicable decision by urself or the IL. Say, if they prefer some privacy and wish to move out...
 

stanzza

New Member
And if it die die come to 1 outta 2. Rest of family vs Wife, as they simply cannot get along and want a all out war...

I would keep quiet and bo chap like ur hubby (since there's nothing much I can do when both side are so headstrong).

Then when the time really comes, I would dump... the wife LOL~

Of course cannot reveal the slightest hint of such plan before reaching critical point.

Don't assume your hubby is a wimp ah... U may be in for a big surprise hehe...
 

simpleman

Active Member
stanzza,

Good post!

But she just want to rant and not looking for a solution. She is unable to see beyond herself.. so mostly your "good words" are not going to help much.
 

simpleman

Active Member
stanzza,

I agree.. I think her hb may dump her when it comes to the crunch..

Not that I am in agreement with the decision to dump.
 


sgbabydoll

Active Member
I have just re-read Galileo's initial entry. She had "sincerely" and "naively" meant for it to be a word of advice or caution to other women in antagonism with the in-laws!!!

If I were in loggerheads with my in-laws, would I seek the wisdom of someone who have estranged in-law relationship? Hell not a chance.
 

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