is there a need to label the folks? Would it help to stereo-type them? Be completely flexible rather than stick to 'principles'.
Clark, obviously you don't understand what is happening in the kitchen at all. It would be meaningless to just be physically helping in the kitchen. All these activities are only daily stuffs the folks do. When helping them out, the purpose is really to make both parties feel comfortable. Focusing on the chore would be stupid.
Change the perspective a bit. What do you do when you want to sell to your customer? Do you focus on selling your product or exploring how you can value add to them? Then why when 'networking' with your inlaws, it somehow become something so terrible and unthinkable?
You guys are telling me must do this and that and I am telling you no need. Like Evon, she said if rejects the housekeys means can be misinterpreted as unappreciative of bf mom's kindness and trust. Who is worrying too much here?
doll, referring it as slogging.
And clark's description as well. He focused on the chores than the objective frankly. Its the bonding that makes the experience enjoyable. Not the heat and sweat. Nor the chopping of onions blah blah blah.
In everything in life, you can focus on the shit and dig. That's what Clark is doing. Digging shit.
just cos there's a kitchen doesn't mean u can cook... kitchen is a very personal thing... the exact knife, bowl, wok, pan, oil, salt... to me is Crucial. i dun think i can cook in other pple's kitchen... food won't taste as good... but it's a very personal thing for me lah...
"You guys are telling me must do this and that and I am telling you no need."
to clarify, I didn't tell you that you must do anything at all. I'm just disagreeing with all the stupid digging at others. We have all agreed its just one of the method that one can bond. In some situations, its more appropriate, in others, it may not.
The Feng Shui SOLUTION
Those having this unhappy problem should start by first transforming their attitudes. Feng shui can help but unless there is also a reversal of expectations, it is less likely that feng shui can change much.
If your mother-in-law is staying with you remember that she is probably feeling less comfortable than you realize. Because underlying her external bravado is the thought that she is probably not very welcome, so do make an effort to really make her feel welcome.
FIRST: Light up the SW corner of your living room with a bright light and put a lovely picture of the two of you - wife and mother-in-law - smiling happily in the SW corner. Make the picture quite big so both of you can see it and be reminded of how close you are or can be! This little Taoist tip works wonders.
NEXT: Place two crystal balls on a table also in the SW corner. This creates excellent Earth energy that will cause both of you to bond really well.
The presence of grandchildren is itself the most powerful cure. The energy of children is pure and very yang and this helps dissolve conflict and disharmony. It also helps to paint a wall red if there continues to be tensions. Fire element energy is always effective for burning up feelings of hostility and tension.
If you are staying with your in-laws and your mother-in-law rules the roost, the situation is more difficult. Here it will be you feeling that neither you nor your husband is the power in the house and it is likely that the mother-in-law here will exert a great deal of authority.
As the wife feeling stifled by the situation, the best solution is to wear a powerful amulet that will help to reduce any feelings of hostility. The rooster with amethyst and fan amulet here is excellent. Carry it with you always and you will find that any hostility between you and your mother-in-law will dissolve. You can also place two crystal balls on the table where you can both see it. This is powerful in helping to ameliorate any tension or left over anger.