Mid Life "Crisis"

discuss

New Member
For years, I have been asking myself, what do I want to do with my life but have not found a satisfactorily answer. I only know I want my life on earth to count for something and that in some way, would be remembered after I have gone... but am not sure what I want to do and how to achieve that.

I read motivational help-self books but I still don't know what is my purpose in life... I have general interest in many things, I often take courses to learn new things and attend seminars but I don't really have a "fire in the belly" kind of passion that motivates me to focus on one thing and be really good at it... I must admit, I don't have a "vision" too. Maybe life is comfortable so there is no urgency to work really hard. Yet it feels so wrong, as in, it's sinful to waste time drifting along without a specific direction.

I understand everyone is different and I can only find the answer I want within myself. Nonetheless, I hope wise people in here can share some insights to open my mind or "wake me up"?
 


wat_are_dreamz

New Member
Volunteer work? Or go on a backpacking trip alone to think about wat u wana achieve in life? How old are u to have a mid-life crisis? Will i have 1 too in future?
 

ajumma

New Member
very few people can have a "fire in the belly" kind of passion. that's too high an expectation. being interested in many things is a good start. now u just have narrow down and find the one that u r most interested in.

having a focus is important. u have to decide on one and keep to it. the passion can develop once u really get into it. people rarely feel very passionate about something that they don't know much about. but over time, as u throw urself into something u enjoy, u will start to feel strongly about it.

if life is too comfortable, get urself out of the comfort zone.
 

powder

Active Member
cuss,

when u're not having fire, the best catalyst will always be Death... so u might wanna start by thinking of death instead... and the impact if it comes at any stage of your life...

the regrets u may have upon leaving this world, the words u may wish to have said, the pple u may wish to have loved, the things u might wish u have done, the success u might wish to have achieved...
 

alienwoman

New Member
if life is fairly comfortable and provided for, maybe u can focus on somthing that is not work related. Like me, if i dun have to work hard in my current field, i'll be happily sinking into arts and fashion. i love pretty stuff.
sometimes, its not tt serious. do things periodically, this week surf net more, next week go hunt out for food, keep abreast of any items u like, pick up the pace and habit from there to be occupied. find frens, pack your room?

when play play ad enjoy fills up too much, work will come in too.
 

alienwoman

New Member
not many people live life with big purpose. jus work ordinary to survive and lien anything else. embrace life and enjoy it...
please do not listen to powder...

eh powder, your method can go either way....dangerous
 

cuclainne

New Member
alienwoman, thinking about death is not necessarily a bad thing ... i too think of death occasionally and when that happens, i know that i don't want to live my life just waiting - for what? you have to grab life by the balls!!

i don't want to be greeted by death and then saying i can't go because i've not done this, or that. too late for regrets!
 

discuss

New Member
evon poon, I like your username, "wat_are_dreamz" - that's what I'm asking myself. I love to have a reason which makes me feel excited waking up in the morning, knowing I am a day nearer to my dream. Now I'm in my mid-30s, looking for my "dream", trying to figure out the "success" I hope to achieve. I don't suppose everyone will have mid-life crisis, especially if you know what you really want?

I've tried volunteer work. Am okay with it but it's not something that makes me look forward to put my heart and soul into. Backpacking sounds good at the moment, discussed with spouse about giving ourselves some time to live a "nomad life", going around the globe to gain greater exposure. At this point in time, we are uncertain and hesitant about giving up the current comfort and stability in life.

Agree that "focus" is very important and passion can be developed with more in-depth knowledge. I do have a "problem" with keeping focus on something for long. It's not difficult for me to become enthusiatic about starting a personal project. After sometimes, the committment feel like a chore, then I'd start questioning myself WHY am I doing what I am doing. So even with the sense of satisfaction after completion, I would choose not to pursue further because I cannot justify my actions. That makes me a "jack of all trades and master of none" yet I admire people who knows what they are doing and are really good at it. Ha... full of contradictions. Are they excuses for plain laziness or simply lack of passion?

Actually I think I am "free to go" now but I will not jump down the building because that would upset my families. That's probably the only real reason that will make me say No to death.

Faith, thanks for the recomendation. Is that book very religion-inclined? Sorry, no offence, I have resistance in "being a disciple of Christ".

alienwoman, I know what you mean. That is what I am doing now... Taking things easy and going with the flow, simple life, simple joy. Somehow, living day by day makes one feel kind of "empty" sometimes?
 

alienwoman

New Member
empty no...
one day 24 hrs,

wake up, make up, travel & read, settle in office, msg my bf, start crazy work, suddenlly (LUNCH TIME)!! eat well, have a good walk ard, go back offcie, work, knock off, go home, eat dinner with family, do a bit of housework to take off load on mummy, watch tv and talk wif family. pack room, draw up grocery list, read, iron clothes of next day, surf net, get sleepy, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz
empty meh...sometimes, i watch movie and laugh very very loud. some times, i take a day off, sleep vvery long
sometimes, i go shop for things that my parents might need.
sundays, i clean window mop floor

my 24/7 not enough to use.
 

alienwoman

New Member
i nvr have time to think abt death. for goodness sake, go exercise or go sit by riverside cafe and eat a good meal...
hahahha, u should feel blessed...unless we are james bond or supermodel, otherwise, we cannot be tt kind of happening one lah.
i secretly hope i have happening life too, now working very hard to climb corporate ladder to have tt kind of money
 

powder

Active Member
hi evon,

yup it's in the works, took me abt 2mths to source and go thru every single car that i fancy... and finally found one that resembles the car on the poster i used to have as a kid (yeah i have posters/pin-ups of cars, not girls), hopefully before christmas... due to the expenditure i am taking abt 2-3wks of proper check to ensure everything is right first. so yes, i should hopefully be zooming soon...

sadly, i sold my cars prematurely n functioning on 1 now. good thing is that i got very good prices.
 

powder

Active Member
alien,

death is a great catalyst for life. there will come a time where u will see it differently. i have not stopped thinking abt death since i was like 4... and becos of death, i made everyday count as best i can, becos i dun know when death wants me to join him.

there's many books with similar themes... they help us realise life early, instead of waiting til our deathbed to realise.
 

faith23

New Member
Cuss,
Keep a open mind to read after reading it you might have some idea toward what you are looking for in life. Yes it is a christian book.
 

ajumma

New Member
the passion doesn't come to u or drop down from the sky. u have to create ur own passion and purpose in life.

u seem to be seeking inspiration from an external source, but what u should look at is to focus on understanding urself more.

if ur wife is ok with leading a nomad life with u, go for it with no regrets. don't hesitate. u r already mid 30s, when the window of opportunity has gone, it's gone for good.

inertia is easy when u have a comfortable life. like what powder said, think about urself on ur deathbed. what r the things that u will regret not doing before u pass on? focus on those die die must do things, and do them now when u still have the chance.
 

alienwoman

New Member
Cuss,
we are very blessed to be alive and kicking. see the charity shows with disabled and terribly sick people. u can walk can jump, go get yourself ocuppied you'll be fine. dun't dwell on unnecessary problem le..

Cheer up..
 

renerene

New Member
"I only know I want my life on earth to count for something and that in some way, would be remembered after I have gone..."

--> How to leave a legacy?
happy.gif
 

wat_are_dreamz

New Member
powder: Tats great to hear. Hee. => Have a blast of a xmas w ur new car!

cuss: Powder has a point. If u are comfortable w life now, then u shdnt be feeling tat there's smthg lacking. If u do feel tat u want to seek smthg more, then u shd think about getting out of ur comfort zone for awhile. Powder said smthg about death being a catalyst for life. How about tis - if u were to die tml, is there anything u wld regret? If yes, then maybe u shd go do it cos life is too short for regrets. We shd all try to live life to the fullest, so long as it doesnt involve anything bad or result in us neglecting our responsibilities to those we love.
 

dracano

New Member
Cuss,
Maybe parenting and raising lively children could be one of our hidden passions too?
Discuss it with your spouse and maybe she is as passionate too?

On and off, I do have some symptoms of 'mid-life crisis' too so hopefully with some initiatives I'm currently taking, things will change soon and take me out of my comfort zone.
 

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