Men give love for sex....women give sex for love....true??

[concerned76]

When I was a teenager, I recalled listening Dr Joyce Brothers on Redifusion saying this.
Now almost 40 years later and looking back, I cannot help but think that to a certain extent...this is true...whether we like to call men selfish creatures who are guided by their sex hormones, do they really and genuinely sacrifice for their spouse?
Just wanted to hear your thoughts on this...probably there would always be 2 sides to a story but frankly in this times and age, in a stressful Singapore where cost of cars and houses are high, kids need to go to good schools to succeed, do people really find time to give love to their spouses anymore?

Love to hear from all ladies and men out there. And men...please be honest!

 

[tomasulu]

Why do you want to live your life by sound bites?

 

[momoftwo]

It is naive to equate sex to love and love to sex.

For it is possible for both gender to have sex without love and love without sex.

 

[momoftwo]

If one is capable of loving you unconditionally , are you capable of loving back unconditionally too ?

If unconditional love is what you seek, then you are only capable of giving conditional love.

 

[concerned76]

I have always thought that we women are more emotionally attached compared to men, so it is difficult for us to give in if the feelings are not there...but then again, I may be wrong because no two women are alike. During the days of our parents, they are thought to be submissive, but that was because the men were the bread winners and women tend to the family, but nowadays, women are also in the work force, working equally hard if not harder than the men, and on top of that, they have to tend to the family, contribute to the financials, and end of the day, even if extremely tired, have to succumb to the wants of the spouse....
In an ideal situation, I hope to give unconditionally, but if there comes to a point where I am always giving and not receiving anything at all, I cannot help but think if it is fair for me, especially when the women is the one making all the sacrifices..

 

[momoftwo]

Concerned76, If you are having difficulty BALANCING your marital duties and giving physical/emotional support to your husband. You may want to consider either stepping down or requesting your husband to step up to the plate, or both.

When your marital life is unbalanced, you will always feel drained, exhausted and under appreciated.

Learn to let go of some, so your spouse may have the chance to take over some. You will be surprised at how much more your spouse is actually more capable than you give him credits for. Your growing appreciations and admiration for your spouse can help fuel your want to satisfy him more willingly, instead of the dreaded obligatory "pity sex".. Trust me, most husband don't want pity sex from their wife.

So, instead of you carrying most of the weight in the family, let your spouse carry more weight around the house.

When the queen is happy, the Kingdom is happy.

Women are mostly givers...BUT
When you are empty, you cannot give.
So, take care of your physical and mental health first, before attempting to give others.

Same goes to mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends.

 

[miloice]

Well... if someone writes something positive and good, would you doubt it? You asked to be honest. Frankly, all kinds of folks exist and there are generic traits. Individual use cases are hardly relevant to speak about general. Kind of subjective and gender bashing to discuss about selfishness of a gender. What's important is individuals be realistic and honest about themselves. Much of it has to do with the relationship itself, your decisions, selection and how committed the couples are to understand and work things out.

 

[momoftwo]

I think , how secure a woman is, affects their behavior in a marital setting.

A secure woman tends to be more relaxed and suffer less anxiety.
A insecure woman tends to have more anxiety issues relating to their performance in the marriage.

It will be very helpful if you can find out where you are on security level.

Take this test... it may shed light on some of the issues you may be facing now.

What is your attachment style ? http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

 

[miloice]

"kids need to go to good schools to succeed"

You sure about that?? Paper qualifications do not guarantee success. In this era, why are people still holding on folk tale perception?

 

[mirrorcelcius]

Without sex desire, can anyone give me one reason why i need women ?
guy talk with guy is much better than guy talk with girl.

anyone wonder why women have sexual appeal while man don't have ? the breast, ass, leg, all of them.

 

[denise80]

Men can have sex appeal too - check out the ass, chest, broad shoulders and six packs.