Meaning of friends

[pipipinky]

I know my this galfrd for the past 16years. I went thru a bad breakup and she saw how i went thru it. She was with me thru out then.

I appreciate her friendship and told myself, i would be there for her too if she needs me too. However, I feel very disappointed in the way she treats me.

1) I have never gone overseas with her before. Asked her to go batam for a 2D1N short getaway, ans is yes yes yes. Never plan date nor put into action. When i ask again. Ans is save $.

2) We got a common friend who was posted to Indonesia to work last yr. Invited us to visit her. Only have to pay for airfare coz there is room for us to stay. After check air tkt... Expensive for 2D1N trip... So ans is save $.

3) However, she has a closed galfrd whom she has known for a very long time, being posted to Malaysia to work recently. She can go and visit her in Malaysia, without thinking of saving $.

Beside, can also go for europe and expensive asia trips without thinking of 'save $' issue.

Am I too sensitive in the above issues?

 

[cuclainne]

yes, you are!

first of all, if you ask someone else to do something with you, then you're kind of expected to do the planning ..

and you really read too much into things .. she's leading her own life and you need to live your own life.

 

[kellyy84]

Well, perhaps maybe you should do things in the mind because you want nothing in return and you will feel better. Whats important is that you do it because it makes you happy.

 

[michimichichan]

Since she's your good friend you can always ask her about it. Don't brood over it, you're probably thinking too much.

 

[mrs_chew]

Sunshine

Since she is your good friend, why don't you pay for her batam trip. It's not very expensive to go batam usually.

If she still turns you down, it's definitely not the money issue.

However, if I were you, I will respect her decision not to travel with you without further questions asked. Why lose a friend over such matter? Not worth it.

 

[clearskies]

Maybe she just doesn't want to go to Batam or Indonesia? Maybe she is not close to the friend who was posted to Indonesia, and so did not see the need to visit her? I think that when resources are tight, people would only save their money for the holidays that they really want to take, and not go for a holiday just for the sake of going for a holiday. Why don't you ask your friend if there are any countries that she wants to visit?

 

[pipipinky]

She was interested in Batam and is also closer to the friend posted to Indonesia.

 

[denise80]

Sunshine, I think you're too sensitive.

Even the bestest of friends need not do the same hobby or thing together. I have friends whom I'll ask along for ktv, I have friends who are gd travel buddies and I have those who would lend me a shoulder to cry on. Do you need an all-in-one friend? You sound a little insecure and possessive here, especially with those comparisons about how she treated other friends and you. The very fact that she helped you out when you feel down already showed her sincerity as a friend. Come to think of it, what have you done for this friend other than 'suggesting' instead of planning for an overseas trip?

Finally, you must understand that she is a human being too with preferences. Perhaps comparing batam and other places, she simply prefers other places? Or between you and another travelling buddy, she prefers the other? It's not that complicated right?

 

[watching]

Sunshine,

Tell a bit more eg. the friend dynamics, whether she is feeling short-changed, the things she did for you, vice versa. Are you just normal buddies, have you `overvalued` her ?

 

[clearskies]

Did your friend go to Batam or Indonesia without you? I think you can only take it as a personal slight if she chose to go there with another friend, but not you.

Otherwise, I think she was probably just not interested in Batam, but was too polite to tell you "no".