Marriage without children.......anyone?

[pasir_ris_beach]

cuclainne
u can be proud to hv own children of your own but please be kinder to TS. PLease see her post.

I wonder how my thread have changed to another topic.........

May I know whether you guys who joined in to share thoughts is childless too? If so, care to share how's your daily life schedule, what you do for leisure time, hobbies etc....

 

[simpleman]

blur,

By not mentioning about the joy of having children is kinder to her?

I don't understand this type of logic..

 

[toyisme]

cuclainne,

hmmm....very hard to explain to you. wait ah....until you experience it hihihi...sorry....my bad

but i am not shooting people here. i just show to you that something like what i say is always occur to human life. i am not in position to pro or con to have kids here.

 

[cuclainne]

huh? i don't understand .. experience what?

 

[cuclainne]

i wonder what exactly have i written that screams 'i am proud of my children'? - though of course, i am.

have i missed that part somewhere?

 

[toyisme]

simpleman,

that's good. as you say that you are looking forward not backward right ? why ? because you know you have make mistake in the past and not looking backward ? then you change your view what have you done then ? no ?...oh..sorry...i missunderstood you.

i am very bad in communication and languagetic.

coco,

i am so sorry to hear that. better not to bring life if you are not able to take care of it. very nice.

 

[its_fate]

Wait wait wait.. I'm getting confused now..

Who is having the problem now? The husband or the wife????

"We just received our fertility result. I am perfectly alright but my hubby is not. I have told my mother-in-law. She is not angry but just concern whether without kids will we feel lonely and no one to look after us when we grow old.
"...

"another obstacles is that I HAVE CHRONIC ILLNESS (auto-immune dieases) since my teens years. I am still on steriods till now. "

1. Perfectly alright or having Health problem???
2. Wants to have child or don't want to have child???

Must get this point clear first........

There is nothing wrong to share joys in here. If the TS really want to have a kid, with such high-tech in the "medication world", I believe docs can help.

 

[simpleman]

black burn,

NO I said.. I never change my view.

What is past is past.. YOu cannot change it even if you want to. I never say I want to change it. The basic principle is still the same. If I live my life all over again, it will still be the same..

 

[toyisme]

HAHAHAHA....

damn. i really have no idea what i am talking about here.

from childless to sperm count, from life to medication. now from the main topic to no where ?

 

[simpleman]

black burn,

Now then you know you have no idea what you are talking about..

 

[alcifertoh]

(Auto-immune dieases) Is it SLE? A cousin of mine also diagnose with that and on steriods. Doctor mentioned that it would be dangerous for her to have a baby in the future as such medical conditions would be place under high risk pregnancy. Apart from that can lead a normal life just avoid too much sun and over exertion.

 

[its_fate]

sm & cuclainne - Juz ignore that "BB".. dun fall into his "trap"... He juz wanna irritate U..

Black burn - Stop making senseless comments..

 

[toyisme]

ok boss...

 

[pasir_ris_beach]

SM,

u look at COco's post.. she said her hubby has some problem + she herself have chronic illness = can have child or not? (will her future baby come out healthy or stillborn or what? this question is quite worrying for her)

Lastly u look at the last post(hei bee hiam) on auto-immune diesase(SLE or nt)

I hv nothing against those who share the pro and cons of hvg children lah.

 

[simpleman]

blur, For medicals you really don't want us amateur to say too much.. you have to talk to the doctors.. I mean you really trust what we wrote here not in the capacity of a medical professionals?

I would think not.. yes, you can read but you still need to consult the doctor.

If you really want and love children, I have suggested adoption.. or you have to learn to accept the reality that you may not have children. It is not the end of the world.

 

[pasir_ris_beach]

u can tell to TS.. she is the one who asked u ppl to share your thoughts on how to live the rest of life, grow old since she cant hv child due to her chronic illness plus her hubby is not ok???? or infertile... i dunno lor.

 

[plan_b]

Isn't it clear that this thread is about Marriage without Children? It is not about how to have kids, or Die Die must have kids, or why TS can't have kids.

Just a simple question from TS. How to lead a married life without kids?

Now see what you people did to this thread?

 

[its_fate]

Okok... break away...

Let the TS decide what she wants in her life..

She may be happy to see us here sharing joys with the children.. On the other hand, she may be sad as she is childless now. She and the hubby can seek docs advise if they really want to have a child.

SLE (as mentioned by HBH), it's not 100% cannot be pregnant. We are not doctors, so please consult them

 

[simpleman]

Basically I have shared.. acceptance .. if can't really have kids.

It is not the end of the world although one may feel sad or depressed not having children..

Life can still be meaningful without kids..

 

[miloice]

Wah... then should I also be very sad? haha.

this is a forum for goodness sake. As long as there are no nasty insults or abuses to fellow forumers, why are we trying to determine what is to be said here??

 

[plan_b]

I wonder how my thread have changed to another topic.........
=================================================

Didn't TS make it clear?

Well, forums have etiquette to observe too.

Show some decency if ppl have nothing constructive to say.

 

[simpleman]

plan B,

Implying?

 

[plan_b]

sm,

Implying?

 

[cuclainne]

umm .. plan B, if you read carefully .. you will realise that blur is not the TS ..

but then again, i realise that you have nothing constructive to say either .. so i'm also wondering what's the point behind your posts?

 

[plan_b]

Please read carefully what TS posted on Friday, June 05, 2009 - 5:16 pm:

*shake head*

 

[plan_b]

And you are right. What I pointed out has nothing to do with the topic. Let's make space for those who has something constructive to say.

 

[miloice]

hi coco,

r u worrying too much??
No one can force u to be parents... unless if accident. You are having so many worries which are somehow uncalled for. You should be finding how you want to live your life instead of speculating all these.

Question : why the sudden worries? Do you feel empty or bored of the childless marriage?

Personally, till now, marriage is wonderful despite no kids. We stay with her mum and we have lots of time to care for both our parents, do hobbies, catch up with friends etc. Apart from travelling, one thing we love to do is eat good food, be it hawker or fine dinning. So, its good to balance with hobbies that burn the extra calories

 

[cocobaby]

Dear all,

The question how our body system works is still a mystery.........

You might have a pair of beautiful eyes but born with 1 arm.

So do I........a perfectly womb with good ovarians to have lots of kids but suffered from long term illness.

By the way, my in-laws is not aware that I have long term illness.

Thank you - blur (pasir ris beach)for your understanding .......and of my thread.
(she is the one who asked u ppl to share your thoughts on how to live the rest of life, grow old since she cant hv child due to her chronic illness plus ...)

 

[pasir_ris_beach]

Coco

dont worry abt how to live your life for the remaining of your life.. Just go with the flow as your life situation will change later on.

I can see some ppl just anyhow sharing abt the pro and cons of hving children without understanding how u feel abt not being able to hv children naturally due to chronic illness or incapabilty(will not say such words like infertile) as I had learnt thru my sister not to say like that cos i have one aunty-my mum's youngest sister also experiencing the same thoughts as u. LUckily she knows she can rely on us, her nieces and newphew which we are only children of my mum's side to help her and her hubby.(my aunty's hubby's side have no other children at all).

I know it is very tough on my aunty who yearned for children of her own but cannot!! so thus now she n her hubby r resigned to their fate after so much griefs over their inablity to hv children for the past 17 yrs. Like u, she and her hubby are moving towards their 40s in another year. Another point is my aunty wont hear of such adoption as she personally feel the adopted child is not the product of their strong love. That is why my aunty's more fortunate as he hubby loves her very deeply despites childless for so many years.