pineapplepie
New Member
But if he can be aroused by watching porn, is not ED right? He has back prob, issi affecting him?
Marriage not consummated
- Thread starter bride_0909
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shirleypoise
New Member
Then it's psychological problem?
Did he do anything abt it like seeking for professional advice?maybe sex therepy?
Did he do anything abt it like seeking for professional advice?maybe sex therepy?
applepie: I don't think back problem has a link to what you are facing. Hmm.. one thing could be that he used to do hj to release his desire and thus he doesn't face a prob with this but he doesn't know how to sustain it when in a women's body, the texture etc is dufferent... Heard from a radio report that some irrexperience guys faced such issues and one of the reasons is they had already pre-cum prior to the lovemaking. Could ur HB be facing this issue?
bride_0909
New Member
applepie.. is ur problem resolved now?
by the way, I'm havin another prob now.. I still feel intense pain while doin it.. it kinda ruins the mood for me & cant really enjoy.. any idea wad could be causin the pain? thot once the hymen is broken shouldnt be painful anymore right?
by the way, I'm havin another prob now.. I still feel intense pain while doin it.. it kinda ruins the mood for me & cant really enjoy.. any idea wad could be causin the pain? thot once the hymen is broken shouldnt be painful anymore right?
bride_0909
New Member
we haf tried only 1 position so far.. missionary with my legs raised up restin on his shoulders.. only this position seems to work for us so far..
sgbabydoll
Active Member
Troubled, I believe you are still not relaxed and aroused sufficiently. The pain is felt on the vaginal wall which is largely muscles. Try to relax and ensure that you guys spend time seducing each other into the mood.
bride_0909
New Member
he cant seem to enter wen I put my legs down.. as for the dryness we use lubricant..
maybe like wad doLL said, I'm not sufficiently aroused.. he tries all kinds of foreplay which does gives me pleasure & mini-orgasms.. but wen he tries to insert, it'll be painful all over again!
maybe like wad doLL said, I'm not sufficiently aroused.. he tries all kinds of foreplay which does gives me pleasure & mini-orgasms.. but wen he tries to insert, it'll be painful all over again!
bride_0909
New Member
hmm really? I feel sore until now le.. sigh
sgbabydoll
Active Member
It's quite good progress that you have experienced pleasure and mini-orgasms.
moistfaucet
New Member
how can you teach someone to have sex ? i wondered....
bride_0909
New Member
haha lookin at Hunky's post I was caught between laughin out & rollin eyes! yea we juz gotta filter out crappy ones like him..
tingting_86
New Member
troubled: could be due to the size of your husband's penis. Hopefully you will get used to it after some time..since you know our vaginal is stretchable..
bride_0909
New Member
tingting.. i hope ur right.. hope I get used to it soon!
mum_of_2_girls
New Member
Hi troubled,
You can attend those marriage forum chaired by O & G Doctors. I attended one of their public forum once after I just got married.
It had help me a lot since I was a virgin too before marriage. The Doctors advised the ladies to do fingering when we were bathing.
As virgins, we never masterbate or put anything in our virginas, so the virgina is not used to it.
The Docs advised to practice everyday when bathing. Make sure the fingers are clean. Insert the smallest finger into the vargina. Move in and out a few times until you are comfortable. Eg. 20 times.
Then slowly increase the size of the finger to the index finger. If you are comfortable with the index finger, then increase to 2 fingers ( index and middle finger).
The size of the average penise diameter is about 2 finger sizes (Index and middle finger together).
Don't be in a hurry. Take your time to practice. Your hubby can also help to fingered you.
I also took 4 mths before I was fully consumated. Now my hubby and I can do all sorts of positions.
You can attend those marriage forum chaired by O & G Doctors. I attended one of their public forum once after I just got married.
It had help me a lot since I was a virgin too before marriage. The Doctors advised the ladies to do fingering when we were bathing.
As virgins, we never masterbate or put anything in our virginas, so the virgina is not used to it.
The Docs advised to practice everyday when bathing. Make sure the fingers are clean. Insert the smallest finger into the vargina. Move in and out a few times until you are comfortable. Eg. 20 times.
Then slowly increase the size of the finger to the index finger. If you are comfortable with the index finger, then increase to 2 fingers ( index and middle finger).
The size of the average penise diameter is about 2 finger sizes (Index and middle finger together).
Don't be in a hurry. Take your time to practice. Your hubby can also help to fingered you.
I also took 4 mths before I was fully consumated. Now my hubby and I can do all sorts of positions.
bride_0909
New Member
Albee.. think ur right abt the fingering.. it helped me overcome my mindblock too.. juz the thot of anythin going in there was so scary, dats y I always clammed up wen he tried.. but after fingering myself in the shower for 2 days, it helped me to get over the phobia a bit.. dats how we managed to successfully consummate the first time.. now it's juz that the pain still wont go away.. hopefully over time the vaginal walls will get used to it..
mum_of_2_girls
New Member
Hi troubled,
The pain will go away with more practice.
Try to explore what turns you on. If you like certain motions that your hubby does on you, tell him to do more often, you will find sex more pleasurable than pain.
Even the pain can be a pleasurable pain if you know what turns you on.
The pain will go away with more practice.
Try to explore what turns you on. If you like certain motions that your hubby does on you, tell him to do more often, you will find sex more pleasurable than pain.
Even the pain can be a pleasurable pain if you know what turns you on.
I have read about how sex for the first time can be painful. Is it really extremely painful? Reading about other forumer's experiences here is giving me abit of jitters. I am a virgin and my bf and I are looking at marriage in about 5 years time. I really hope our wedding night would go smoothly without problems that others have faced.
My bf is a divorcee with kids which means he has sexual experience. Would this mean that I will experience lesser pain since he has the experience and knows what to do?
My bf is a divorcee with kids which means he has sexual experience. Would this mean that I will experience lesser pain since he has the experience and knows what to do?
Hello dear fellow forummers, in life take it easy and speak what you want. Why you guys and ladies be so serious and post all the serious answers.
I like to post what i have been posting and i enjoy it.
Honestly, nobody PM me also....... haiz....
Madam Trouble, i guess u must have already done your opening ceromony. Congras! ;-)
I like to post what i have been posting and i enjoy it.
Honestly, nobody PM me also....... haiz....
Madam Trouble, i guess u must have already done your opening ceromony. Congras! ;-)
miloice
Well-Known Member
Eliz,
your partner's experience might or might not help at all. And you might or might not have issues with it either. The pain experienced is a physical one unlike what many would think. Although it could be influenced by psychological fear of pain.
Fingering and exercising will help relax the muscles and prepare your body for penatration. Don't be so hopeful about the wedding night. You are a lifetime together. The wedding night is over-rated. Good sex on first time is no guarantee it will last. Likewise, the more probably one, 2 inexperienced chaps struggling to figure it out for the 1st time doesn't mean diseaster.
Main thing : be patient and have fun. The more tension and stressed u feel, the tougher it is for the both of you.
your partner's experience might or might not help at all. And you might or might not have issues with it either. The pain experienced is a physical one unlike what many would think. Although it could be influenced by psychological fear of pain.
Fingering and exercising will help relax the muscles and prepare your body for penatration. Don't be so hopeful about the wedding night. You are a lifetime together. The wedding night is over-rated. Good sex on first time is no guarantee it will last. Likewise, the more probably one, 2 inexperienced chaps struggling to figure it out for the 1st time doesn't mean diseaster.
Main thing : be patient and have fun. The more tension and stressed u feel, the tougher it is for the both of you.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
Eliz, it would be another five years before you plan to start sex. Why worry about what could happen in five years? Who knows, things may change along the way??
simpleahgal
New Member
Hmmmm i have this feeling hunky is a virgin too ... but juz ass virgin prolly .. or oh well maybe not who knows!
/cheers ^^
/cheers ^^
miloice
Well-Known Member
Eliz, why gross? Women masturbate too. Be it with tools or their fingers. If you want to prepare yourself, then you gotta train your body to be ready. Those muscles needs to be explored to discover for yourself how you like to be touched.
If you find fingering gross, u will probably find sex gross. Most guys be it straight or gay do have some level of sexual fetish. We love blow jobs and panting. Can be anything from uniforms, MasterSlave, anal or cum swap.
If you find fingering gross, u will probably find sex gross. Most guys be it straight or gay do have some level of sexual fetish. We love blow jobs and panting. Can be anything from uniforms, MasterSlave, anal or cum swap.
simpleahgal
New Member
B4 we got married, we bought this book called "Intended Pressure" from a christian book store recommended by a couple pastor of ours.
In the book there is a sections which talk abt doing stretching exercise to the vagina for those who r 1st time doing it, inserting the finger in then pushing it downwards to losen the tight muscles and subseqently 2 fingers and 3 fingers
Which does not sounds appealing to me. To have 2 or 3 fingers inside. So din really try. But after a few trys having sex wif my husband which failed .. as i was too tense and my husband has difficult entering me. I starting trying out what the book teaches.
Well good to say it does works. after doing tat for 2-3 days. We finally manage to do it well wif some helps of lub, it was still pain at 1st 1-2 time but after tat was ok.
I guess now my body had got used to it and no longer feels the pain and we dun even need to use lub now ^^.
In the book there is a sections which talk abt doing stretching exercise to the vagina for those who r 1st time doing it, inserting the finger in then pushing it downwards to losen the tight muscles and subseqently 2 fingers and 3 fingers
Which does not sounds appealing to me. To have 2 or 3 fingers inside. So din really try. But after a few trys having sex wif my husband which failed .. as i was too tense and my husband has difficult entering me. I starting trying out what the book teaches.
Well good to say it does works. after doing tat for 2-3 days. We finally manage to do it well wif some helps of lub, it was still pain at 1st 1-2 time but after tat was ok.
I guess now my body had got used to it and no longer feels the pain and we dun even need to use lub now ^^.
susanna_low
New Member
How about adding some "tools" for fun? I've seen edible flavours like chocolate or strawberry etc *wink wink* and also vibrators too!
susanna_low
New Member
Can use a vibrator for the G spot and probably after a few orgasms, can go straight for the "main course".
miloice
Well-Known Member
The simulation probably helps moisturizes the inner walls but probably not prepare the muscles to be stretched still.
Muscles involved in penetration differs. So, I'm skeptical that it would help fully. The fingering the most direct manner of allowing the body adapt for the penetration itself.
Muscles involved in penetration differs. So, I'm skeptical that it would help fully. The fingering the most direct manner of allowing the body adapt for the penetration itself.
susanna_low
New Member
TS can practise all 3 at the same time~
mum_of_2_girls
New Member
Hi Eliz,
I think it's better to follow the advice of the qualified Professionals.
O & G Doctors recommend fingering. You can attend the O & G Public Forum. There is a Question and Answer Session at the end of the session.
If you are shy to speak out in Public, after the event, you can politely "corner" the Doctors with your questions. The Doctors are very friendly and will try their best to help you.
O & G Specialist's consultation fees are not cheap but you can have the advice for free in a public forum.
My hubby and I attended the forum when we just got married. We found it very useful and we felt safer with the Doctors' advice. We definitely don't want end up with painful penis or tearing vaginas.
Some of the Doctors were quite romantic with their spouses and would give you some great tips on a happy marriage.
I think it's better to follow the advice of the qualified Professionals.
O & G Doctors recommend fingering. You can attend the O & G Public Forum. There is a Question and Answer Session at the end of the session.
If you are shy to speak out in Public, after the event, you can politely "corner" the Doctors with your questions. The Doctors are very friendly and will try their best to help you.
O & G Specialist's consultation fees are not cheap but you can have the advice for free in a public forum.
My hubby and I attended the forum when we just got married. We found it very useful and we felt safer with the Doctors' advice. We definitely don't want end up with painful penis or tearing vaginas.
Some of the Doctors were quite romantic with their spouses and would give you some great tips on a happy marriage.
susanna_low
New Member
animal abuse leh 
Hi Milo,
Responding to ur concern, no, I do not find sex itself gross. If my future hubby does the fingering on me, or if I touch his private parts, I will find it very pleasurable. but the thought of doing the fingering on my own body just feels abit gross. Maybe cos I am not used to the idea of me touching my own body in that manner.
Responding to ur concern, no, I do not find sex itself gross. If my future hubby does the fingering on me, or if I touch his private parts, I will find it very pleasurable. but the thought of doing the fingering on my own body just feels abit gross. Maybe cos I am not used to the idea of me touching my own body in that manner.
Hi Albee,
my bf and I had a good discussion about marriage and life after marriage and we spoke about our wedding night too. haha. Thanks for the info. How do I go about finding more info abt this forum?
And ,will fingering tear the hymen? I have seen forumers writing about blowjobs and panting. What are these? and how to find out infor about all these? Tho I am in my early 30s I am still so ignorant about sex and related stuff.
I asked my bf these qns and he juz smiled and said I will find out in due course.
my bf and I had a good discussion about marriage and life after marriage and we spoke about our wedding night too. haha. Thanks for the info. How do I go about finding more info abt this forum?
And ,will fingering tear the hymen? I have seen forumers writing about blowjobs and panting. What are these? and how to find out infor about all these? Tho I am in my early 30s I am still so ignorant about sex and related stuff.
I asked my bf these qns and he juz smiled and said I will find out in due course.