Maintenance of Parent


New Member
My mother has always been a manipulative, arrogant and a money minded person.

I've been living with her for all my life. My father had a family on his own so I was sort of a bastard child when she gave birth to me. He was still kind of living with us, staying overnight during odd days and provide for the family until I turned 18, and then my mum started seeing other people, and one day, my father came back home and caught them in the room. Since then he has never came back home anymore. Eventually she got married to that guy, and divorced a few years later.

After serving NS, when I was still in my early 20s and started working for a few years, because she wasn't working and has been owing HDB loan so much money, that she was forced to sell the house at a loss, because of that we had to stay in a relative's house. Eventually the relative kicked us out after an argument with my mother, and we ended up staying in a 1 room flat that her friend rented. My salary was still low during that time and hence couldn't afford to buy a new house.

Eventually after a few years in my late 20s, I got married, and me and my wife bought a house. My mother ended up moving in with us.

I have always been giving my mother allowance ever since I started working, and for the past few years, I've been giving her $500 per month. She doesn't pay any bills, or even need to buy any groceries, and she doesn't even need to pay for her own handphone bills.
However she's a heavy smoker and a gambler. Smoking a pack or 2 everyday, spending on 4D and toto, and going out to certain clubs regularly for her mahjong sessions. I supposed most of the money I gave her went to those bad habits of hers. Because of her smoking habit, she started coughing alot, and ended up diagnosed with lung issues. And even so, she refused to quit smoking and still smoke everyday despite coughing non stop at the same time.

For almost 2 years now she has been pestering me for an increment, as apparently $500 isn't enough to fund her cigarettes and mahjong games. She has been giving lame excuse like she need extra money to buy Cordyceps which she claimed can make her lungs better, and those will usually cost like at least $100 per month. I had always been upset about that since she brought it upon herself, hence has rejected her request and has always been firm about it. I was getting so annoyed that I have been trying to ignore her and not talk to her for the past year.

She started acting more aggressively, and complain about how much housework she has to do in this house, and I've been an unfilial son to not even give her that additional allowance that she rightfully deserve. Just a few hours ago, I locked myself in the room to avoid her nagging, but she has been banging the door and trying to kick it open.

May I have some advice on whether I should like kind of "disown" her or something, and even just let the court decide on how much I should be providing for her instead, and if so, usually how much should a son be paying for his mother's maintenance, and will it be more than the amount I'm providing now?