Love <3 Story?

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by MrHonest, Sep 2, 2018.


Marry Her?

  1. Yes

    0 vote(s)
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
  3. None of my business >.< / =.=

    0 vote(s)
  1. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Hi all,
    What is love? Here is my love story relationship > 10 years.
    WARNING: Is SUPER LONG STORY so do not blame if u gonna read finish the whole thing.

    This is a true story. Lets be share with you guys. I am Malaysian guy who born in an average single mum family with average looking. Where as she is born in an average Singapore family with average looking.

    Secondary School:
    One day a friend of mine told me that he meet a girl which is very kind and helpful in an online game which i was playing during that time. Out of curiosity and puberty age who wanted to start looking for girlfriend i somehow go approach her in the game by pm her and after chatting for a while on the same day on that night i request her to be my girlfriend in game, she say let her consider but by forcing i say i must know answer before 12a.m haha that is how she becoming my first girlfriend i ever have. Not to mention at that age of course i am her first boyfriend she ever has too.

    Ever since the day she becoming my girlfriend, we been playing game together. To be able to experience more as a real couple. I found a way to let us communicate by voice instead of just text. Then day by day passes we been playing different kind of online games together. Beside of gaming we also watch dramas, movies and shows together. Even when sleeping we never cut off our call. The conversation of our calls is more than 10 hours per day during our secondary school times.


    We are still together doing over the same stuff, but gaming been reduced as my result just almost fail me into university. So i starting to serious in my study as university school fee is not cheap so i could not afford to fail. After i graduated i been searching job in Singapore in order to be able to start a life with her in Singapore the future.

    Working in Singapore:
    After graduate i started working here and living here all alone for 2 years and i cant not hold myself anymore i wanna meet her in real for just once but she somehow rejected me but i really wanna to move on with her but she still with her study, but i wait too long years by years over 10 year. End up i becoming a jerk requesting break up and i go into flirting online with stranger girls online in order to set up my mind i am going to give up on her and she hurt and went missing for a year. Where as me been flirting with strangers girls online during that 1 year. After almost a year i starting to missing her, flirting does not help me from forgetting her even though it is excited. I been try searching for one which could been better companion other than her but result is none. But do you guys believe in god & ghost? Myself not superstition but i do believe. Last year i go to bugis temple during praying i just wish her still fine and healthy and you know what happen? The nest day i receive a unknown call in a silent way, when i answer it by Hello? Hello? She could not recognize my voice lol and the call cut off? But in my heart i know is her, as i dont social much since me in relationship with her i dont keep in touch with girl and somehow become our habits. Then next day when she call again, immediately i answer and say Dear? Dear?
    She: How you been? How u know is me?
    Me: I know because you the only one i would wanna to keep in touch.
    She: She cried so hard, and my heart breaking hurt.
    And some how we get back together, and our relationship continue again currently been together 10 years, break of 1 year, and batch back 1 year.

    Problem why i break off during that time:
    1. Hiding relationship
    Here come the problem. Which i been constantly wanna give up this relationship. Due to her strict parent we are somehow undergoing underground relationship which can be reveal. So far during this relationship i only see her real self as photo.
    2. Never see her real in person
    Due to her respect toward family, we been putting our relationship on hold. Moreover i never see her in webcam too. Sometime i doubt about her real identity but i trust her photo is truly her.
    3. Smartphone
    During smartphone era, how could she does not have 1 to keep in touch with me? Ever i offer to buy her one.

    Problem currently facing
    Trust between her, she afraid i am still flirting. Where as i afraid one day she would leave me as i just earning average income not yet afford to build family yet. I somehow still feel guilty as what i had done before and i very into horny sex stuff. But ever since we been together again i did really control my self well and never once cheat her.

    Before you guys wanna judge between us please be fair.
    About me:
    No smoke habit , No clubbing, No drinking and still virgin.

    About her:
    Not gold digger
    never ever once request monetary from me out of the 10 years relationship, even i offer gift toward her.
    Never look down on me
    As i come from a poor family, she never ever make me feel i am not suit her.
    Never admire any guy or idol
    Make me feel i am the best man for her, she always admire me as her man.
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2018

  2. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    Wait. You mean you have never met in person? Not even from web cam? 10 years? Are you trolling?
  3. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Yea it is true story of mine and it is up to you, whether do you believe or not.
  4. Climbfreak

    Climbfreak New Member

    How old are the both of you?
    Honestly, i think you yourself will find it weird that after 10 years you have never even met each other? I think you should just ask to meet her up, it is perfectly normal even for friends to see each other in person right? I am not sure if you both are introverts but it seems you have deep feelings towards her so why not meet up and have a proper relationship? She never looked down on you and if you don't look down on yourself, it is time to do justice to all these years don't you think? As for whether to marry, i think it is too far away to think, you need to have proper interaction in person even before thinking about that.
  5. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Both of us between 25 to 30. I would like to meet up with her, but she not ready yet as her parent does not allow her to have bf during her study. So what i could do is just wait.

    Do Singaporean parent really that strict? Any girl in this forum could you answer me this question? How old are you when you start a proper relationship and not secretly?
  6. meiji5

    meiji5 Member

    Eh, I can't really reply on her behalf but if it's in secret I believe there are other factors other than her parents being strict. If a relationship needs to be hidden and you have not met her in person over all these years, it's so suspicious that she could be with someone else.

    From own experience, being in a relationship where you are not introduced to family or friends could mean that the person doesn't expect to be with you for long or they are cheating on you. Mine was a cheater. Different rs, different situation I suppose.
    miloice likes this.
  7. Infernolord

    Infernolord Active Member

    I think another possibility is that she feel inferior, maybe looks, maybe others. (or she had ever show you her true self? )
    She is afraid that end of the day (after so many years), she did not meet your expectations..
    I doubt she is cheating on you or in another rs. Doesnt make sense for one person to have a "unreal" boyfriend for so long.
    Family thing is definity just a excuse. So ask yourself if she really dun look like the photo, are you ok.
    U must also convince her that you love her for her personality not otherwise.
  8. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Hmm, yea when i tell anyone about this all will say so. But love is all about trust, the way of person doing and the feeling will let u figure out. Whether hidden or not if the one who really wan cheat you and wan hide one day u will eventually find out. As what we say paper cant wrap against fire. =) and if really not suit each other just break off no need to be together and cheating against each other this is what i think.
  9. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Hmm she look just fine, i also not super handsome just normal guy. I doubt she will use fake photo. Anyway yea our relationship is all about companion and deep feeling. Really love to have her aside.

    K back to question, girls of singapore how old you start bring boyfriend to your parent?
  10. ing1

    ing1 Member

    Its not about how old, its about how comfortable she is to intro boyfriend to parents, at least to me. I guess she is not comfortable with you as yet.

    I find it amazing that you guys never ever meet in real life and yet associate yourselves as bf/gf. maybe i am too old school. :)
  11. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    It depend? I got 1 friend the gf first day bring him go see parent already. We all also found curious.

    Can anyone answer my question? If not about how old then i change it this way. Do u guys introduce bf to parent during or after finishing your study.
  12. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    The amazing thing is 10 years never even meet each other much less parents.

    Even web cam also don't have. This must be a troll lah. Or someone so dumb getting cat fished
  13. miloice

    miloice Well-Known Member

    there are no one size fits all. Frankly, its quite foolish to be in a virtual relationship for 10 yrs. We live only once. Clock is ticking, don't waste your time.
  14. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Hello, u always tio scam sibo? If this beloved sweet girl so free to troll me for 10 years i must be lucky haha.
  15. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    I cant deny what you say, i ever think this way too. Yea she graduating soon, everything will come to the end. After so many years lets see it is really as i expected or everything is just troll.
  16. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    Lol. You just unmasked yourself as a troll then.
  17. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Whatever ? I have no right to make u believe. Anyway i met her 12 years ago in a online mmorpg that every Singaporean should familiar with. Which just launch in mobile platform and currently the top 1 grossing game among the mobile game in Singapore.
  18. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    And you never met her in person after that? Talked on phone only once?

    How well do you know her ?
  19. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    hmmm, may be my English not good enough or you are too lazy to read through the story. So do not anyhow judge if you could give me such answer.
  20. meiji5

    meiji5 Member

    I can see that you are genuine about the relationship and yes, trust plays an important part. It really is hard for us outsiders to understand the situation and only both of you know your true feelings.
    All I can say is, we always want to trust that everything is good but even sometimes we do get played out because of how much we are willing to trust someone.
    In your case, I do hope that you will get your happy ending. It would be nice to hear after all these years that your love and trust has prevailed.
    MrHonest likes this.
  21. coldjade

    coldjade Member

    Firstly, maybe even before asking if you should marry her, you should aim to meet her first. If she don't want to meet you, nothing else will happen.
    Actually this shows a lot about your personality, that you tend to think too much, read too much into things. Planning marriage, think about meeting parents and building family when you haven't even meet. Hurtful but to be honest your relationship with her might not be as deep as you thought. You might be putting your 100% into it but for her it might be just 30%.

    Secondly, I think you are suspicious about this too but yes it's unlikely a millennial in Singapore does not own a smart phone. Most probably she just don't want you to know. You might think "but I know her phone number which is the most important info". No. Because she can choose when to pick up your call or not. But if you are on her social media, you can see her actual private life. Including her relationship, if any, and that she is actually enjoying life, without you. Which is what she don't need you to know. I'm trying to imply that she is most probably keeping you as a spare tyre, that she can call and cry to when things are not going well in her life. And if her relationship does not work well, she can feel comfort in thinking that hey, there is still that guy online who is so loyal to me. I'm a woman, a Singaporean woman, trust me brother, I know.

    Lastly, I have dated a guy I met on online game before. And back then I was already 20 over, and that guy is in his late 20s, just like you guys, mature enough. Everything went very well in the game and in our daily communication etc. But after we started officially dating, meeting often for dates etc, things became different. And I wished I stayed as online friend with him because now we are not even friends anymore. He was a great guy when we were just online friends. Not saying he is a bad guy or what but meeting and dating changed everything. So maybe this is how God is trying to save your relationship with her, that you can continue to be friends but you should not push it too much. I stopped trying to meet people online after that and really, best decision in my life. Things are soooo different.

    Sorry to say hurtful things but 'm coming from 2 POV, one as a Guo Lai Ren and one as a woman. I feel that if she still rejects meet up and there is no progress, really lah, move on brother. Don't waste time anymore. Go and meet real people out there. Attend events and activities. If you're around your early 30s, now should be your peak. Better make good use of this time.
    newproject, miloice and MrHonest like this.
  22. MrHonest

    MrHonest New Member

    Thanks for your neutral and sincere comment. This is the type of answer i am looking for. Nah, i trust her. To be honest i trusted her not to have smartphone is possible. Since all the time beside study she was with her family. She from ordinary family as her parent paying theirs tuition fee is not easy just my personal opinion. Even i did offer to purchase her smartphone but over these year she never request a single cent from me.

    Yea, i really wanna try to date her for real and wanna try it out. After all this is a 10 years relationship i not giving up yet. I know everyone would call me dumb for it but life just like this. Just let me be stubborn for 1 more year that she going to graduate soon. I just wanna try to meet up with her, i just wanna find out is our feeling all these year is really as what expected. This is the last chance i giving for this relationship. If she does not keep up her promise then i would end this up.

    Anyway as a man nothing to lose? May be i starting to grow old 30s still little away from me, and i started exercise to keep myself fit so i think i am fine. But i not woman therefore nothing too much to lose to pursue my true love. If thinking what i lost for keeping this relationship? May be the chances to date other girls? If so i think is fine ? After all relationship is a test and trial dont you agree? If i seek for relationship, i also had to look into all kind of criteria like looks? bodyfigure? interest? personality? and bla bla.
  23. coldjade

    coldjade Member

    You really have great faith in her. Salute you brother. Btw I'm also speaking from a point of view of an educator who deals with teenagers and young adults. I see around a thousand of them everyday, that's why I was confident about my point on smartphone. Even the poorest student on financial assistant schemes holds a smartphone in Singapore. And most tertiary education requires technology devices. So it's kind of unlikely she doesn't have one.

    A lot of men think you are a man so nothing to lose unlike women. But actually ah, it still matters. Especially if you are not a work maniac career man. Many people are able to understand why a work maniac who is very successful in his career is single and couldn't find a partner. But if you are just a simple and normal man, women will analyse "How come this guy all these years cannot get a girlfriend? Must be got reason...". Also, I wouldn't want my children's father to be too old to support or take care of them. But since you say you aren't that old yet that's fine but just be careful about this.

    So she promised you she would meet up? If you decide on 1 year then better stick to it. If not you will sink deeper and deeper and can't get out. Men tend to fall in love with women they invested on. In your case you invested time and emotions. On top of that, many people tend to "beautify", draw untrue conclusion and find excuse for the person they like, then they fall in love with this "beautiful" person deeper. This is how people forgive the person they love even if they are hurt by them. It's normal. But just be mindful and don't sink too deep brother. All the best.
    miloice likes this.
  24. miloice

    miloice Well-Known Member

    opening up via chat and online isn't the same as face to face interpersonal engagement. Before you guys really meet and make the relationship beyond a virtual one, one should have no expectations from it.
    coldjade and newproject like this.
  25. miloice

    miloice Well-Known Member

    Elaborating more.... if your gf background is as strict as you portray, it is going to be an important challenge for your relationship moving forward. Firstly, she must be so introvert that she is comfortable not engaging people, she is probably OK with you guys remaining remote, her comfort level personally with you is a huge uncertainty. Then, her overly strict protective folks probably isn't going to be so easy to be with. While, she obviously is still under the huge influence of her parents. There are many issues that one needs to face in a relationship and marriage. Being remote all these while, you guys haven't deal with it. When its no longer remote, these issues will creep up. I'm not being pessimistic but realistic here.

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