I’m 30 this year and married for 4.5 years to a guy I’m with since 20. I can say I’m a very easy going girl, so I can tahan many things. I don nag, or complain. I am also a very soft hearted and weak person. But life gets very tiring and exhausting. I do everything at home, every single housework and I also work. I coordinate everything like if there’s any repair or installation etc. When I’m sick I still need to do all these. He didn’t ask or instruct me to do it, to be honest. He just don do anything, so eventually I will have to do it. This is like unspoken rule. So when I ask for some help, say mopping floor. I have to prepare the pail etc for him, then he will mop very anyhow, very wet .... and when I commented he will say “that’s how I mop”. So slowly, I just get tired and rather do it myself than to reason with him. This is just one example but there’s many things, that end up I prefer to do it myself than ask him to help. And then, I also feel like there’s no difference if I hv Husband or don have Husband. Becos I can’t think of anything tt I can’t do without him, or if he has did anything for me tt I touches my heart. He has taken me for granted over the years and I really cannot take it anymore. N so I get more tired physically and emotionally, which leads to my health getting worse. My appetite is getting worse and I cry alot. We had a deep talk, and he says he will change, afraid that I will leave. I was hoping he could tell me what I can’t do without him, but sadly he also feel the same way as me. He actually agrees with everything I said. And then he really changes. To the other extreme. He suddenly snatch all the housework to do. I actually appreciate it alot becos I’m really tired n no energy at this moment to do anything. But he is so extreme he will dash to ask me if I need help when I washing my own cup. Like .... why would I be angry with him for washing a simple cup by myself???? N I’m still very emotional, n cried alot. So he is very extreme again. He will follow me ard at home and keep staring at me. I felt like a prisoner being observed at home. I have been thinking of divorce for quite awhile. But to be honest, he didn’t beat me or have adultery or what. So I will think of things like .... those wedding vows, u have to stay tgt be it happy or unhappy etc. And also the long relationship we have been tgt. I also keep asking myself, since he already “changed”, why am I not happier? But I dono is this consider an “emotional torture”. I really feel very horrible everyday, and my mood automatically worsen nowadays, when I’m with him. We still chat alittle bit, but mostly quiet. I also feel very uneasy when he touches me, or hug me, and we stop having sex already. I want to try to reaccept him, but I really can’t do it. I dono if I will be able to do it in the near future .... if I can’t then it’s meaningless to stay on tgt. i really dono what to do ... should I divorce or continue to try. If I try, how long more should I try? It’s really draining and exhaustive now for me.