Lost and depressed.

[bloomy12]

Thanks doll. indeed, my life has changed for the past 3 years. but, its mainly reactive change. I made up my mind to end my marriage, only to take him back again cos i still feel for him. I was so so close to that last step... BUT he decided to end it with her just in time.

Now tat i found out a second time, a second gal, Im doubly sianz. I am surprisily calm about it, i know i cannot decide on anything yet cos we still hv a ppty to sort out. BUT seeing him juggling my demands n maintaining the other affair, disheartens me, n sometimes make me wish i hadnt peeped into his email.

Anyhow, im jus hanging in there. Mentally prepping myself for the inevitable separation or divorce i hv to face, while trying to focus on other aspects of my life. (i cannot deny tat i still secretly wishes that he ends the affair soon, so tat i can pretend not to know about this 2nd affair. i really dread facing the dreaded decision.)

and yes, i keep telling myself tat, LIFE is bigger than two of us.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Peppermint, if you have to remain status quo for the joint property or whatever other reasons, it's alright. But I still feel that it is better to know it than be in the dark on things. It gives you control over whatever decision you wish to make or not make.

I always remember a quote I picked up from a book I have read - "Love is the wave. Trust is the water". Without trust, a relationship often faces challenges and tests. Even if you didn't find out about Girl #2, you would have smelt a rat because he is someone close to you and it's not hard to pick up any change in behaviour (assuming that you are not unreasonably insecure and distrusting).

Anyway, I like your concluding line, that, "LIFE is bigger than two of us". Indeed it is.

 

[bloomy12]

Hi Doll,
"But I still feel that it is better to know it than be in the dark on things." Wat are u refering to?

Yup, got my inspiration fr powder. He said, "Life is bigger than our marriage and each other... " so i applied it to my case. Helps to realign prorities.

 

[geritan]

Hi Taurus,

I was in an almost similar situation like yours before. It all started when my husband became quite close with a female colleague recently and even went on an overnight tour alone with her when they were outstation overseas. Although he had printed a few pics of them, I saw more pics of them which was saved in the PC with password. I tried "hacking" into his email, FB & MSN then.

The truth hurts when you see things you don't want to find out or read about after you managed to get into the account. I cried many sleepless nights too after that. I thought my husband was having an affair with her.

We managed to clarify the matter after we had a good chat. He says they are just good friends and he is still keeping in contact with her now. Though he sometimes tells me things about his friend now, occassionally I still feel tempted to change the PC settings to find out what they talk about on the MSNs.

But I choose to give him my trust now unless he decides to break it.

 

[sgbabydoll]

"But I still feel that it is better to know it than be in the dark on things." Wat are u refering to?

Peppermint, knowledge empowers us. Any decision made based on knowledge and logic usually turn out to be better decisions.

 

[ichangeforyou]

Hi Taurus.

In a marriage there are 2 key words:

TRUST and RESPECT

When either one is gone, cracks would start to appear and its really up to both to decide if they can mend it and overcome the cracks showing up and make the marriage a stronger one....

 

[denise_0704]

Sigh me too .. going thru annulment..been married for only 5mths and he told me that his feeling is not the same as before.. sigh.. feel v depress too...

 

[texasholdem]

"feelings is not the same as before?" there must be a 3rd party. did u check it out?

 

[danihaw]

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