Looking for fellow females above 30 to form a support group for dating


bedokboy

New Member
good, but cleaning's a bitch! haha.

every few days dusty again one leh!

someone should invent a smart-house. A house that cleans itself.
 

trique

New Member
Agirl,

Recently, one of my close friend attended a singles mingles session with her other girl pal. Halfway through the night, she texted me saying she was bored and all alone. I asked what her friend is doing and was told she was in conversation with some guys. Apparently its every girl for herself! So much so for support group.

Whilst girls night out are great fun, i am just not sure about the all girls dating support group.... there's bound to be competition and jealousy...you end up stressing yourself more esp when one by one, they got attached. Else, you are so happy with a bunch of people to spend your time with, you are complacent about getting yourself out there.
 

powder

Active Member
isn't this precisely why your fren is single?

a singles mingle session and she expects her girl pal to be chatting the nite away with her?

and i read 'girl pal' as one of those frens u're only close with periodically, and not a best fren sort.

women are women. u go to a singles session and u bitch abt your fren mingling...

but u're right abt competition and jealousy. this is the best weapon for me, cos once u understand how it works, u can use it to your advantage.
 

trique

New Member
What l meant is for friends to look out for each other. Certainly, its foolish to join and expecting to just chat with your friend. Mingling is the key. However, if I were to see my friend alone, I would have invited her to join in the conversations. These are social events, is there a need to be so competitive?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
u said so yourself, why need to be so competitive. Then, why feel stressed? It is not a competition to see who gets attached 1st, so, there is absolutely nothing to be stressed with the fact others are getting attached. It boils down to expectation. Your friend expects to be entertained and to have a good time, expects to get hook up before the rest. Expect expect expect.... hence the stress she put on herself.

If she wants something out of the session, she should go get it and not sit there and expect. Nothing will happen, others will not approach her and finds her boring.
 

powder

Active Member
u choose to see it as competitive, your fren too.

if i was mingling in a singles event, it is possible that i am Actually enjoying the conversation with a certain person... it would be silly And Rude to keep looking over my shoulder for my fren or worrying abt my fren. i Dun get it, we're so old, yet we have to worry for a fren in such a session?

what are u expecting here? her fren looks out and sees her alone, and Invites her over to the conversation in a Singles session?

like that both of them will remain single.

your fren lacks EQ, Social Awareness and thinks the world owes her. and she should be told Exactly that... Instead of having u on her side and making her think there's nothing wrong with her.

it was a Specific-Purpose event. it's not a christmas/bday party... it's like going to play tennis and expecting your fren to keep asking u to play... your fren is just Spoilt.

this is how i see it.
 

powder

Active Member
so actually...

tell your fren not to attend anymore singles' events if she's not gonna be proactive nor interested.

the reason she sms u how bored she is, is to let u know wat's happening in her life, and where she's at, and trying to con u into thinking she's putting some effort in dating.

pple like that dun get hooked up becos they are uninitiated and lazy. they go to an event specifically for knowing pple, and they spend their time sitting around and messaging frens like u...

if u wanna be her fren, show her my post.

she's got some waking up to do, and u're probabaly too nice to tell her the truth.
 

sherise

New Member
trique I just got a message from some girl who is a divorcee. She is looking for some support as well, so I am happy she emailed me and now I have support!

I am just looking for more female friends as well. usually females will help each other. not saying all do, but some might, especially if u help them in other issues which are close to matters of the heart.

I never thought of being competitve in social situations. I just attended a gathering and my female friend introduced me to some guys, and i also broght my other single female friend to my other social gathering and introduced her. Typical female behaviour I think, only guys would think of this as competition.

yes and I should put in more effort into my dating. I maybe date once a week, and sometimes the guys I ask out are all so occupied!! its not like i didn't want to go out with them.
 

tomasulu

Member
After all is said and done the pretty (and smile-ly) ones get taken. Your competition is with yourself. Make yourself pretty and the boys will come. And u don't have to attend stupid events like such or worried about frown lines because you're so bored.
 

ariel84

New Member
TriQue, your friend's friend is in conversation with the guys while your friend is sitting all alone and being bored.. simply because her friend has made herself more interesting and attractive to the guys. Perhaps your friend appeared unapproachable or aloof.

Actually, your friend could have just walked up casually to her friend and joined in the conversation. I'm sure her friend would have introduced her to the guys too.
 

sherise

New Member
choco..I wish I can say I have results. but no. I am ok looking, decent but I think I don't stand out though. Too many women like me. The guys I met who were the better ones said they didnt know who to choose and wanted to wait. They also said they had too many women around them.

its true though, all 3 workplaces I worked in, be it some very technical industries etc..all the offices were 90% women.
 

ariel84

New Member
Sherise, there must be something you have that is attractive and unique. I always believe that every individual is special. Maybe you just need to understand and love yourself more.
 

nichie

Member
The guys I met who were the better ones said they didnt know who to choose and wanted to wait. They also said they had too many women around them

wah..sound like sg has surplus of woman....where are all the man?

sometimes the guys I ask out are all so occupied!!

I have not been through your situation but I can imagine how frustrating and stressful for you...dont give up hope...just relax and be yourself but have a positive mindset...may be try to enhance your appearance alittle to first try to attract the attention of those guys...guys are visual animal although appearance is not everything but is an important starting point lor...or make yourself more interesting eg taking up more interest or hobby...join interest groups etc...try to have as diverse knowledge/interest as possible so can have topics with any kind of guys...sense of humour is important too...got to at least first get the guy attention/interest then they can further understand you as a person..although I am ok for a lady to date a man but I would prefer to make it as natural as possible lah....not purposely date them and they tell you they are occupied...personally dont like this single mingling, dating or meeting session....too objective specific...I know some will say just go with an open mind but to me like going for a mission lah...locate the target and capture it...abit stressful lah...
 

simpleman

Active Member
My impression is that SG gals at times tried too hard... just relax lah..

I have been to many casual dates when during first meeting the girls are asking very personal questions - which really put off the guys.

Go make friends with open mindset.

But it is so true.. my life is so occupied and busy and there better be a good reason why I need to go on a date with a particular woman - she better not bore me to death.
 

trique

New Member
Powder, milo, ariel,

My first response to my friend that night was "maybe your friend wants to give you opportunities to meet others?" Its her first such session and the way i see it, for a shy person to take a first step to participate in a singles session is already something... with more exposure, all things will come easier.

Though its foolish and maybe not feasible, having a friend at such events may 'smoothen' things out. Everyone has different comfort level. I get what you guys mean
happy.gif
Its just like those company networking events that i hate. But when i am there, i do what i need to do and speak to as many people as i can...

Agirl,

Its good that you are meeting a good bunch of girls. I am just skeptical about the thought as I used to hang out with a group that turns very competitive..

Just saw your last post, please, when guys said they didnt know who to choose and wanted to wait, please recognize it as a 'HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU' and MOVE ON!!! Fast!! Oh my... why are they telling you they have too many women around them?? What kind of outing/conversation are you all having... aiyoh...
 

Top