Lazy BIL

neolq13

New Member
Dear all,

I am abit troubled by my lazy BIL. I have been married for juz 2 mths plus.. he stopped working since cny. since then, he's been staying at home, play games, watch tv, eat, sleep. During cny, while we were busy preparing food for praying and reunion dinner, he simply dont lift his precious fingers to help out. Juz sit there.. watch tv. When dinner was ready, my MIL went to ask him to come n eat.. he juz sit down, eat and go off when finish. NOT even helping to clear the dishes, wash the dishes.

According to my hubby, he's abit slow/low IQ. But not retarded. So.. to me.. its juz plain lazy.. since everybody is doing.. y do I need to do as well???? That's wat I feel on how he think. He's not doing anything, my parents in law/my hubby/me will do it. He doesnt need to do anything.

Then.. 1 thing that I notice was whenever he go toilet.. after he come out.. no water sound.. like the toilet bowl flush/basin water sound.. none at all. And sometimes the toilet really stink of urine smell. And since married, looks like I am the only one washing the toilet. So I told my hubby abt this, but he doesnt smell anything or feel anything wrong. But he will still go and flush and spray the toilet. Last nite.. it happened again. So I asked my hubby to listen.. true enough.. no flush, no water sound. He went to ask him and he said he went to urine. Wat kinda person is that??!! No basic hygenie. He told him off and went to flush and spray the toilet again. haiz.. I am really pissed off with this lazy bum. Dont help to clean up at least dont dirty it. Even my cat (at my mum's place) knows to cover up after done her watever business.

Everybody in the family like treating him as a king.. wat's so great abt him??? I really dont understand. If he's not going to learn, he will nv. And when my PIL are gone, who will look after him? me? no way.. I dont mind looking after the sick. If he is really retarded, I will look after him. But no. He's perfectly normal. Y does a normal person doesnt wanna behave normally?

Even retarded person would learn how to take care of him/her self. We cant depend on other ppl to look after u for the rest of ur life isnt it? Ppl struggle juz to earn that bit to survive.. yet.. he's juz wasting resources. I juz wanted to vent out my anger..
 


tan33a

New Member
neolq13,

wah!! exact same situation here!!! lol. my BIL is simply a very lazy person. even my hubby admits also. but my PILs treat him like a king!! he's also jobless.

the CNY thingy, EXACT same thing happened. he just sits there, watch TV, laugh laugh, even put his legs on the table to talk to his friends on the phone. goodness!

when he's at home.. he doesn't bath. sometimes when i walk past him, i can even smell his BO!! OMG.. and my MIL, who's a stay-home mom, doesn't even seem to be bothered by this. lol.

i didn't know there are ppl with same situation. it's just disgusting sometimes to look at him. urghhhh.. luckily my hubby agrees about this.. sometimes he'll ask him go bath, smelly, then he'll go smell his armpits (YUCKS big time), he say "where got? no lah, siao ah.. i nvr go out wat, where got smelly?" DAMN.. he's VERY fat lor.. hahahaha.. but well, nothing we can do about it la.. hahahaha...
 

tan33a

New Member
haha.. my BIL isn't retarded la.. not low IQ or anything.. everyone looks up to him as a king because he was the smartest during his school days. but now, it's the other way round.. lol. well, he's just plain lazy la..
 

simpleman

Active Member
looks like people here just want to rant and rant..

complaining about lazy & retarded BIL..

ok.. keep on ranting..
 

neolq13

New Member
hi lolliepop,

same lo.. my MIL oso stay home wife.. so is my FIL.. both of them nt working.. den every nite i will hear my MIL ask him to go bath.. a man.. of 30 yrs.. haiz. I know parents dont mind looking after their child.. no matter how old they are.. they will 4ever b their child. But we have to face the fact that at the end, when they are gone, he gotta know how to look after himself.. n nt juz get a china gal to take care of him lo.. its not going to solve the prob
 

tan33a

New Member
hehe.. ur MIL asked him to go bath ah? my MIL dun even do that. and same lah, my BIL also 30 yrs old.. well, nothing we can do right.. hehehe..
 

rain1983

New Member
my BIL even worst!!! Never worked ever since he cpmpleted NS!!! All he does @ home is eat,sleep & play game, & wait for his mum to provide for him!!!

My MIL lagi best ar... BIL asked her to buy a plasma TV for him to play his game, & my MIL really bought for him lor!!

I think he's the worst off than anyone's BIL here lor!!

Let me share with you all..

Everytime, i go to hubby house, ( we have ROM but not customary yet) BIL will lock himself in the room, & never come out @ all until i go home..

Sometimes, i @ his home whole day, like 10am-8pm, i never once seen him come out to pee or shower lor!!! Even his food, MIL cook, deliver, & wash dishes for him!!! Even a cup, also MIL wash lor!!!

Then one day, i really very curious why he never comes out one?? dun he need to pee or shower one meh??

Then Hubby tell me, he pees into plastic bags!!!!! Gosh!!!! Where got ppl like that one??!! Er xin right???

One more thing.. You know, if he wants to drink milo, he'll shout from inside the room to ask MIL bring in for him.. Then if it spills on the floor, he'll just leave it to dry like that!!!!!!!!!! He dun even bother to wipe it lor!!!! Then wait for my MIL to see it then clean...

So, if MIL is working whole day or for 2 days consecutively, she'll only notice the dried milo 2 days later lor!!!

You say kua zhang anot????!!!!

Thats why i hate going to Hubby place!!! Super duper dirty ok!!! Its lizards/cockroaches playground lor!! And i dread those pests!!! I will freak out one lor!!!

FYI, MIL does not do any housework, probably she's tired from working bah.. I dunno!!

I ever went over Hubby's house once (when we're still bf & gf) to clean the whole house once, but MIL complained i do not clean!!!

You say sian not lor???!!!

I did for you, its coz i see u no time & old liao... But you never say thank you, but still complain abt me do not clean!!

Wht is this man??!!!! Ever since then, i NEVER DID any housework for them liao!!!

Probably she didn't know that it was A PRIVILEDGE & NOT OBLIGATION bah..

sigh...
 
PrincessRain,

Since you can't stand the sight of your BIL, your hb's place, then you have the choice not to go to his house and you dun have to force yourself to face all this and you won't need to lament about it here. Anyway, it is THEIR house and if his mother is willing to do all this for him, it is her choice. Of course I understand that you are here to share about lazy BILs.

Btw, I am not sure if your hb is aware of you washing his house's dirty linens here. But I would be pissed if I am him. You may want to spare a thought for his feeling.
 

rain1983

New Member
procrastinator,

hb knows fully well that i'm on this forum, knws my nick here too.. Oh ya, HE IS NOT BLIND & knows whatever posted here too.. & FYI, he doesn't like his brother as well!!

I've spoken to him a zillion times about these problems, but he also cannot do a single thing about it..

Don't gloat here after reading, coz everyone has their own problems, & needs to let it out somewhere.. Or else, he/she will go mad!! Agree??

I just happened to pass by this thread & thought i should share my thoughts too..

I thiink we don't need ppl to come comment on the things posted here, since YOU ARE NOT THE ONE GOING THRU ALL THESE..

Judging from your nick, i'm sure you have your own problems too right??

Just spare a thought for ppl who just needs to rant.. Eveyone rants.. Don't you rant too??

Anyway, thanks for your 'concern' & suggestions!! Much appreciated :D
 

tomasulu

Member
i pity your husband. the family has lived that way forever, isn't it obvious that he can't or he won't do anything about the situation? nagging him 'a zillion times' will only damage your relationship with him. besides, this has absolutely nothing to do with you. 周瑜打黄盖, who are you to intervene?

three words - build a bridge. (i.e., get over it!)
 

laundry_woes

New Member
Ok, if u wanna do it tis way.

Judging from ur nick & ur grouse, I'm sure u live in Disneyland. Rain (I refuse to call anyone Princess), there are more things happening in tis world than u can hardly imagine. When ur biggest grouse in life is abt ur lazy bil, dun even broach the topic of divorce. Tat jab at Proc was uncalled for.
 

powder

Active Member
incredible... the existence of such characters thru the ages is scary...

absolutely incredible... Laundee, why isit always the ladies who have this tendency? i mean guys do complain, but there's always this admirable quality in SOME girls whom i can never quite figure out...

they can go to other pple's place, then long enough it becomes like Their place and they suddenly have Rights to make changes or bitch,... oops, ok - rant. it's like the only species (especially spore) whereby they dun have a sense of decorum... they can go to a museum and insist on shifting paintings or moving artifacts simply becos they dun like the current placements.

for some reason, they are like the messiah... before their entrance the world was chaotic. the world Needs them.
 

powder

Active Member
PrincessRant,

pls grow up. there is a difference between seeking for solutions, and just plain bitching...

u have a major problem. u actually think pple are gloating over your problem... it shows that u have BIG ISSUES. and these issues CANNOT be mopped or cleaned away...

to your bfren who may Read - "be ready to be dominated by this lady, and have her dominate your life, your family, your ways of life - for the rest of your life. u brought the virus into the home".
 

laundry_woes

New Member
It's u guys who spoil market trying so hard to be Prince Charming, so naturally some ladies become princesses lor. Dun make me defend my sex! Or worse, change it!

Only in the 20s & they hv the king-of-the-world mentality. Isn't it abt time to grow out of ur childhood & shift ur focus to others for a change? U can't change others but u can change urself. Rant is like the aristocratic version of bitch. Such a convenient excuse.

I thot Proc was already very polite. Wait till Powderful comes along. He'll take her apart bone by bone.

P/s: I always thot the Mona Lisa looks better wif a moustache, but the Lourve staff wouldn't let me near it.
 

simpleman

Active Member
laundry,

Ya you are right.. we guys spoil the market.. I think I am a big culprit.. i spoil the girls very much..
 
PrincessRain,

Not sure if you really understand the definition of the word "gloat". Gloat means: to feel or express great, often malicious, pleasure or self-satisfaction. I am not sure which sentence of mine has given you the impression that I am gloating over your so-called "misfortune". There is no need for me to gloat over what you are facing... I dun even know you to begin with, and there is nothing to gloat about. I have better things to do in life boy! This is a forum, there is freedom of speech. Anyone can post anything they want. Even if you want to spend your entire life ranting, no one is gonna stop you. It is your time and life you are ruining, what has it got to do with others? Other people can choose to ignore you/leave you alone when you are ranting. You can choose to chant and rant all day or choose to rant 10% of your time and spend 90% of your timing trying to do something about it. The choice is entirely yours.

If you read carefully what I have written, based on my understanding of what you have written, I am just trying to tell you the following:
a) Since your BIL's behaviour and your hb's house irk you and I presume you are very bothered by it, the solution is NOT TO GO THERE. If you are not bothered by it, then you probably won't be ranting about it here or complaining to your hb a zillion times.

b) Not sure how your man feels, but I personally would be embarassed if my spouse goes around washing my family's dirty linens in public. If your man is NOT BLIND to what you have posted over here and he is perfectly ok with it, then congratulations! you have found yourself a great man. Just wanna highlight to you to be sensitive to his feelings. If you feel that it is bullshit, then you dun have to bother yourself with it.

Powder,

I have found you someone from the male species who rants and that person is none other than SM. I guess both males and females rant. It is just that there may be a greater proportion of females who are doing this on a greater extent. So dun "yi zhu gang da fang yi chuan ren". Though I am also a ranting female, I only spend 5% of my time ranting.
happy.gif


Laundry,

I was trying to sound as polite as possible already. Didn't know that it could trigger such an intense reaction. Maybe I should have just left my msg in its most original form and I don't even need to try to edit it so that it sounds better. Maybe I would be able to pitch my skills against Powderful's then...keke..
 

powder

Active Member
procrastinator,

definitely not an "yi zhu gan" thingie, i put the word 'SOME' in capital letters... i was just amking a remark to laundee, we've got this perpetual gender cross-examination/observation thingie going...

without a doubt both genders are into it, but it's actually the Topic/Subject tat's the key-point for me... it's predominantly 1 gender tat is often obsessed in such issues which should not have been their area to complain in the first place.

it's my observation... look at how quick she jumped on u with a totally Wrong interpretation of your post to her... it's absolutely horrendous and scary.
 

powder

Active Member
laundee ah,

who try to be prince charming? her BIL obviously isn't... he stay in room whole day also wrong. anyway she's even minding whether he comes out, how hee pees etc... i mean Would u actually enter this domain??? most guys just take note, observe and just accept... but PrincessRant won't have it, she's gotta CHANGE him, CHANGE the household, CHANGE the way pple live becos? oops, gotta please her...

whilst i admit that it's an oddity, but every household have their oddities...

and u wonder why sometimes... the biase against maids, prc etc... most guys just go abt making their own lives... whilst your kind wants to make comments and changes and expect the world to revolve around your genderkind.

AWARE... look at the kind of sword-crossing... if it was more male-dominant, it'll certainly be less personal and opiniated with biase. losing focus on the main objectives...
 

powderful07

New Member
Did someone wanna compete against my unrivaled shit-stirring skills?

But then again, I have since learn not to argue with princess-wannabe-with-auntie-attitude...

A bit like arguing with idiots...
They drag you down to their level and they beat you with their experience...
:p
 

powderful07

New Member
My bad...idiots mind their own business...
Is it one of those "bamboo tilt over the whole ship" kinda saying?
Feels like attending the AWARE meeting and encouraging them with chants of "Fight Fight Fight"...

I find it weird that GALS, in general, like to poke their noses into other people's trivial affairs and takes pleasure in saying "yucks this" "yucks that" "Yeeeee this" "Yeeeee that"...

So what if the BIL stays in his room the whole day? Should he come out and keep you accompanied the time that you are in their home (which might lead to more "ranting")? Is that what you expect?

Did he asked you to clear his piss-filled plastic bags (if that's ever the case)?
Did he asked you to make Milo and to clean up what he spilled?
Did the Mum demands that you clean their house?

I can understand you ranting if they made you do the above stuff...
But in actual fact; none of the above happened?
So what was the rant all about?

About other people not living up to your princess-ly standards?

Can't stand people who rants for no apparent reasons...
 
Powder,

Oops... somehow only the 1st sentence "why isit always the ladies who have this tendency" gets stuck in my memory and I have overlooked on your 2nd sentence...paiseh paiseh...I do see alot more females behaving in this manner compared to the male species. Most guys will not care a damn though they may notice. Guess it could be the way females are engineered to be. I am not trying to jump to anyone's defence btw. But to rant about it, and expecting things to be changed to HER way is just a depiction of someone's character. This kind of trait can be found in both the male or female species. It's just that unfortunately or fortunately we see alot of such people congregating in this forum. A male equivalent of this type of character trait would be a guy constantly ranting about how bad female drivers are and how lousy their skills is etc. Some guys are guilty of such acts too.

Powderful,

Dun you get what our princess here is telling me? Our princess here needs to "rant.. Eveyone rants.." whether there is any apparent reasons or not. We can't stand people who rants for no apparent reasons. Likewise, our princess here can't stand people here who are "gloating" over her PROBLEMS. Btw, looks like you have decided to make a comeback to stir shit?
happy.gif
 

rain1983

New Member
i didn't know my post would stir up such a reaction...

I've leant something from here..

Guys & girls have vastly different expectations..

Guys can never understand girls & vice versa.

Thanks for all the advices though..
 

laundry_woes

New Member
U've learnt nothing. Half the people who replied u are females & we dun understand u either. I shld say thank god.

U can carry on ur prima donna ways & hopefully, ur hub will be able to tolerate u. Juz like u hv to learn to live wif others. Good luck.
 

laundry_woes

New Member
sm, u muz choose who to spoil. It's ok for gals who hv their feet planted firmly on the ground & appreciative. Not those whose egos are inflating on a daily basis.

Powder, not the bil, the hub. In any case, now u know how to be prince charming.

1) Do NOT pee into plastic bags
2) Make ur own milo & make sure u clean up after tat.

There. Go sweep all the ladies off their feet.
 

powderful07

New Member
Geez...

I'm just glad my BIL didn't rant about me not coming out of my room to accompany him when he's in my house...
I'm glad he didn't rant about the general hygenie standards of my room...

So you're rite...
I really don't understand you...

It's not a gender issue when we don't understand you...
It's more like an "auntie-ness" issue...
You are one...
We're not...
 

powderful07

New Member
*scribbling on notebook*
"Do...not...pee..in...plastic...bag"
*more scribbling*
"Do...not..spill...Milo"...

Anymore advice?
I could do with more of these gems of wisdom when it comes to dealing with gals of these type...
Will acting dumb and giving in their every whims and fancy and spoiling them silly (like a certain husband of a princess) helps?
 

rain1983

New Member
i don't need strangers to understand me.

If you all say i'm a 'auntie' ranting here, why are you all still reading this thread & replying???

Its indeed not a gender issue, because, ONLY aunties & uncles rant..

And worst still, there are aunties & uncles like YOU ALL who continue to read & reply, just like an auntie/uncle...

Pot calling the kettle black..

ridiculous..
 

powder

Active Member
above is a classic display of shallow mindset, character flaw, and inability to even hold a decent rebuttal...

laundee is right abt the prima donna attitude, made even worse when u're an empty head.

sad for the hubby to find out eventually thru the forum...
 

powder

Active Member
laundee,

if u're a natural, u dun need to take notes and scribble in notebooks... u simply are... but thanks for the headsup.

so how? another one rite? geez, i hope this remains a rarity rather than seeing such attitude in even 10% of local ladies... Gone are the days when one can actually hold a more interllectual conversation...

i see the similarity in her last post, and that of those little kids who sit on the floor to cry and whine when u dun buy them the candy they want.

is there still hope?

add-on: see the misguidedness? she actually thinks the pple here have to appreciate her, evident in the "i dun need pple to understand me" mentality when it's empty as a shell... tat itself is an obvious rant, very unconvincing rite? the shallowness is overwhelming... i dun understand why there are pple out there who think the world is stupid, and they're the only smart pple walking the earth... i mean - who are they kidding??

how can an obviously shallow person be condescending? sad part is they dun know and they think they've fooled the world...
 

laundry_woes

New Member
Prata-ed! I wld love some spoiling now. Someone get some teh tarik to my house?

Powderful, u dun pretend. U like the tneh tneh type rite?
(Mwahahah... My spweling knows no bounds.)
 
Powderful,

It is not that you can't pee in plastic bags or spill Milo. You can still do them as long as you make sure that "GALS OF THESE TYPE" do not discover your act. Once such acts are exposed, you know what's gonna happen.

Is anyone ranting over here? I thought some are diligently trying to pick up skills on the types of landmines when dealing with such people while some are trying to learn how to be prince charming.
 

powder

Active Member
laundee, call 1800-tehtarik. they have islandwide delivery... for a limited period and extended to ladies staying in Other pple's house and want to complain abt Other pple's living habits... the delivery man will listen to rants for 5-seconds. best thing is, u're guaranteed he will act dumb and will let u get away with shallow attempts at acting smart.
 

laundry_woes

New Member
Ok lah, I dun really see it as a local trait. There's prob some candy-screaming kid in every developed country. I say developed coz u won't be bitching abt spilt milo in a 3rd world country. U'll prob be wondering wat milo is. But I digress. I wld admit tat S'pore probably has more of tis type though. Sheltered lifestyles are the way to go around here mah. See no evil, hear no evil, speak lotsa evil.
 

powderful07

New Member
Si powder...

Natural at what? Getting to know prima donnas?
Excuse me when I say I pride myself on not associating myself with such kind of women...

Rain...
Why can't we reply to you when you're expressing your traits as an auntie?
Basically what we are doing here is disecting what you have posted and commenting on your personlity and the social implications it does to our society's perception of Singapore Woman...
I find it highly intellectual...

PS : Damn...it was hard to keep a straight face when I was typing that...
 

powderful07

New Member
Laundreeee...

I like the tneh tneh type...preferably looking like Lim Chi Ling or sounds like her...
What the heck, make it Lim Chi Ling then...

But it seriously needs to be accompanied by intellect, great personality and EQ...
Something which is seriously lacking in some local female species here...

Rain...
If you're still reading this...
Can you let us know why does the brother's behaviour disturbs you to such an extent that you need to write a long rant here?
I will really like to understand the psychological reason behind that rant?
What was the deep underlying reason?
 

powder

Active Member
Hey powderful,

i just noticed it's a perfect score! 6 out of 6! look at the reply in slow motion replay...

1) typical small-gas Rant - "i don't need strangers to understand me."

2) typical small-gas Rant with fuzzy "duh!" logic - "If you all say i'm a 'auntie' ranting here, why are you all still reading this thread & replying???"

3) typical small-gas Rant with no meaning -
"Its indeed not a gender issue, because, ONLY aunties & uncles rant.."

4) typical small-gas Rant aka 'i dun fren u all already' - "And worst still, there are aunties & uncles like YOU ALL who continue to read & reply, just like an auntie/uncle..."

5) typical small-gas Rant tat attempts to sound remotely deep - "Pot calling the kettle black.."

6) typical small-gas exit condescending statement from imaginary mountain top. - "ridiculous.."

yup, 6 out of 6. not a single sentence actually made for genuine rebutt. all 100% rants... solid rite?
 

powder

Active Member
laundee, it simply means u dun get the 5seconds to rant... u still got the teh tarik, what more u want???

SEE! - demanding trait is showing...
 

rain1983

New Member
i'm getting out of here...

i think uncles & aunties like you all should thank me for posting something that can keep you all entertained for awhile!!!(i didn't know i'm wo powderful..hehe)

its very entertaining!! keep it going!!!

out of here for good & i shall just silent read from now on...

Guys can bitch alot too..

I DIDN'T know that!!
 

laundry_woes

New Member
U're still going on abt Lin Chiling? Isn't she getting married soon? U wanna be 3rd party ah? Careful of the witch hunters leh.

Piang. Powder, GP essay ah?
 

laundry_woes

New Member
U din make it clear!
SEE! - ambiguous men...

*muffled hysterics* We gotta thank her leh. Beat hasty retreat liao. But toilet paper still trailing from her uppity Ferragamo shoe.
 

powder

Active Member
PrincessRant,

your presence did nothing but discredit the perception of local women... so dun flatter yourself. (the more u say, the dumber u look, dun u understand?? u're gonna lose your husband if he reads thread)

life was pretty fine without u so dun go thinking u deserve a nobel prize... but i must admit it was as entertaining as picking one's nose and trying to shoot ants with pee-sai...
 


powderful07

New Member
Rain...

How many times must we reiterate to you...
Not just guys here...
There are gals here who disagree with you as well...so don't give me that "guys are dumb" theory...

Powder...
You might wanna add another score...

"i think uncles & aunties like you all should thank me for posting something that can keep you all entertained for awhile!!!(i didn't know i'm wo powderful..hehe)

its very entertaining!! keep it going!!! "

Now she think she's just "entertaining" us like some retards who don't "understand" her when she couldn't rebutt us ...and adopting that "holier than thou" attitude in a vain attempt to retreat with some remains of her dignity intact...

Typical...
 

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