KTV girls n songs

crazy9

New Member
Would girls allow their bf or hb to go ktv (those with girls) regularly.

If guys go there just for singing and enjoy the feeling of being king and nothing else, would you allow?
 


miloice

Well-Known Member
if its for singing song, why with gals? Normally, its because of job. If its just for fun, then would your partner allow you to club the same as well?

There are those that are even okie with relationship, swinging and ONS... is not your cup of tea or not?
 

triple

New Member
I noticed the word "allowed" was used.

Is that the basis of the relationship?
If so, perhaps should discuss with the significant other about such "allowance". We don't enter a relationship to be dominated.
 

denise80

Active Member
I think if I'm the man, I'm more likely to go ktv with girls as compared to my hubby. There are men who don't like such entertainment, not because they are not men and don't feel horny but generally such women (thick make up, seductive, foxy) can come across as 'cheap', too 'aggressive' and turn them off. My hubby is one example who is totally turned off by such women. I think some men are just more likely to be turned on by women in more 'natural settings'.
 

nichie

Member
I think not all KTV girls are cheap, foxy or seductive, its just part and parcel of their job.

For me, No, if they want to sing song, then sing lah, why should they want to have girls to accompany?? The starting intention is already not right....but neither me or my bf has gone to this type of KTV....
 

powder

Active Member
better to lie in such case... and show disdain for ktv girls... hehe. i didn't realise it was down to 'allowance' levels.

by the way, it wasn't til like 10yrs ago that u start to see PRC girls in the line. it wasn't so long ago when i was sitting with local Poly/Uni students n m'sian girls. the influx of PRC ladies has made it a stereotype but in actual fact there's also russians, eastern europeans, mongolians, koreans... and for the cheaper KTVs the viets, thais, cambodians etc.

actually it's a good thing that it's foreigners and not locals... else there's certainly gonna be more divorces and splits... since the girl would be in spore indefinitely 24/7.

The above portion just to put some things into perspective.

If u girls really wanna get a true feel instead of just limiting your knowledge to imagination, u might wanna form your groupies and head to KTVs for ladies... the above average KTV guys earn Wayyy more than KTV girls, so u can imagine the spending power of women compared to men on such entertainment. from experience, it's the girls who fall hard into love and get all emo... whilst guys who go ktv knows it's just another biz/recreation setting.

as long as u do biz, it's an unavoidable part of life. as to whether the guy enjoys... is totally upto individuals. i personally enjoy it for the male-bonding.. as for the women i'm half-half cos some are really nice to talk to, whilst some are so farkin irritating u chase out them out of the room. And yes, it's a dangerous activity particularly for local men with very little exposure to sleaze.
 

cococherry

New Member
Been to such ktv with friends twice, though they didn't call for special service because I was there. There are still some huggings and intimacy which im sure majority wives or gfs won't like their husband or bfs to have with another women. So no!
 

tomasulu

Member
Exactly my thoughts powder hehe. Expressing disdain for KTV girls is what wifey wants to hear. Or the guy doesn't appreciate his own susceptibility. In my book, better the guy who is aware of his limits then the guy who fancies himself to be above it all.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Not about allowance, rather, comfort level and tolerance of every individual is different. Like I mentioned, some are completely fine with open relationships as well. There is no one way. What's important is how well we understand ourselves and respect each other in the relationship. If it doesn't work, no use to force it or try to mould or control the other party nor to suppress ourselves convincing ourselves its normal and common.
 

soisuka

New Member
I think u guys are missing the point.

"If guys go there just for singing and enjoy the feeling of being king and nothing else, would you allow?"

Maybe poster needs to examine why he needs to feel like a 'king', is his real life so unsatisfying that he needs to buy fake affection and attention to boost his ego? (on a regular basis no less).
 

powder

Active Member
well If that was the basis of the poster's intentions... then it's moot isn't it?

good relaxing 1-day spas can make women feel like cleopatra...

a good fight on the latest lan-games to conquer the enemies can make the nerd feel like a king...

a good princess-themed pink bday celebration can make a girl feel like a princess...

so the context isn't the king part. if it is, then it's not an allowance thing.

everyone should just go about their day trying to feel like sh!te, or feel very committed to their relationships with no regards to personal recreation.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
The issue is when personal recreation is against ethics, morals and basic values of the partner. When spouse cannot see eye to eye over such issues, one really question if its a compatible union.

An uptight person will need a hamster in a cage. A prideful chap will need his/her ego fanned. It takes 2 to tango.
 

soisuka

New Member
There's a difference between being uptight and reasonable jealousy.

If your wife engages a male escort on a regular basis to fan her ego (let's assume only flirting and no sex), does that bother u, would you be considered uptight if you do, or would it be considered reasonable jealousy?

Unfortunately, even compatible unions hit the rocks at some point. You either love someone and want it to work or you don't love someone hence you don't want to make the effort. Incompatibility is mostly an excuse.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
I'm painting the extremes for one to understand the disparities. Even when you love someone, it doesn't mean you will succeed to work it out. When you have tried and realize it doesn't work, why fight it? Either change your mindset to accept it or move on.

Jealousy and possession are emotions. Emotions don't justify control nor needs justify the hurts to our partners. Disparity isn't an excuse. When even basic values conflict, its a matter of time, one will reach point of exhaustion. Why discount it as an excuse? You seem to believe all divorces and break ups are for excuses. Did you love all your exs? if yes, then why did u break up with them? Or somehow, there is no more love liao?
 

soisuka

New Member
It is an excuse for the person who doesn't want to work it out. If both love each other and want it to work, why would it not work out? Unless one person gives up first....or one person don't love as much.

It all comes down to how much you want it to work, if you love someone, you would have this desire to want it to work. If at any point, one person gives up.... then it will of course fail because like you say it takes 2 to tango.

Compatibility shouldn't be more of a priority than love itself. What if I find a compatible partner whom I don't love, will it last? What is it based on? If we rather be with someone purely based on compatibility, we might as well go back to matchmaking days.

But that's me, however way you or anyone else chooses to decide, is up to you. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying its not me.

And I don't believe all divorces and break ups are for excuses. I don't know why people divorce and break up. I only know why I would and wouldn't.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Is this really a simple matter that has got to do with "allow" or "disallow". If yes, you can try disallowing it if it pleases you and see if it works that way.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Soisuka,

"It is an excuse for the person who doesn't want to work it out. If both love each other and want it to work, why would it not work out? Unless one person gives up first....or one person don't love as much."
You talk like someone that comes from a world of fairy tales. Not everything in life have solutions like this. For sure, there are lots of folks that excuses themselves and shift blames. However, the assumption that breakups are always because one party didn't love enough or giving up is so one dimensional.

Why compare between someone you love and incompatible vs someone you don't love? Remember that world isn't made of the 2 extremes. Neither do we live in isolated islands with just the 2 where love can conquer everything. Let's don't pretend it does for everyone.

We don't just stop loving someone just because it might not be possible to be together. Neither do we continue to love someone by virtue that they are in a marriage. We will love more than one in our lives. Likewise, we will let go despite loving them if we know its better that way. Love is only one aspect of our lives. We don't forgo everything else about ourselves to accommodate with our partners in the name of love. People that does that often blame their partners for their 'sacrifices'.
 

soisuka

New Member
"You talk like someone that comes from a world of fairy tales."

There's no need to attack my personality just because I don't agree with you. Let's just accept our differences and move on, shall we?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
its calling a spade a spade. As already mentioned, I do acknowledge it is an easy excuse for many to cite incompatibility reasons. But, it doesn't mean every relationship that doesn't work out is only an excuse. Your comments that its only an excuse completely fail to acknowledge the world is much bigger than just relationships and marriage alone. Everyone has a different context and priorities in life. It is absolutely impossible to have just expect all relationships to work simply because there is love and commitment. It is not about your personality. Its about what is mentioned. If you disagree, point out why. If you can't refuke it, it does point out exactly why that assumption isn't exactly so valid in most scenarios as you had put it. I didn't not just bullshit your comments, I validate where it is applicable and also pointed out why it isn't so for many other scenarios as well.

To say that I attacked your personality, how is that? I cited exactly the quote I'm referring to with reasons on why it is a very naive assumption. Remember how scope discount everyone else with his THE ONE theory. All issues in all relationships somehow because they have not found the one and knew love. How is it different with your idea that with love and commitment to work a relationship, you don't see how it cannot work??
 

soisuka

New Member
I said incompatibility is MOSTLY an excuse. Do you really want me to go into detail and explain what are the other reasons for a break up? Why are you so agitated anyway?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
exactly, MOSTLY is an over statement. There are so many people that tried so hard to be happy in difficult marriages only to fail. Don't discount them as finding excuses.

You saw the excuses but not the realistic barriers. Not everyone can overcome them and achieve happiness. When it brings only misery, then how? Many people are in unhappy marriage despite trying everything.
 

soisuka

New Member
Ok, I will hear you out. So what would be considered realistic barriers that would break a relationship where the love is mutual?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Incompatibility is such an important aspect to be overlooked. Life and career aspirations, expectations of the individuals, the family and everyone that somehow in the picture... the stigma and relationship problems with in laws and spouse family, health, sexual needs, values, religion, parents, roles and responsibilities in our family, priorities... the list goes on. Not everything can be aligned and within our control. Everyone is dynamic, it isn't static, we change, our needs evolve, people can grow apart and become no more suitable. Pointless to attempt to go on listing.

Whether it is only an excuse, no one knows better than if we are truly honest with ourselves. So many factors on why marriage and relationship is never a guarantee despite the love one might share and cherish. A marriage is hardly only about 2 people, we continue to have roles and attachments to our current lives and also new areas that we would want to pursue beyond the marriage.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
If you have taken it as a general comment about your personality, my apologies, its never the intent. It is specially only about the comment I had quoted earlier.
 

soisuka

New Member
I believe if there is a will, there will always be a way, it maybe a really difficult and exhausting one. So again, it boils down to how much do you want it, how far are you willing to go for it?

I just choose to be hopeful instead of condemning a relationship based on external factors.

If my relationship can be broken by what our parents think, stigma, religion, work, then I would deem my relationship as weak to begin with. Again, that would indicate TO ME not enough love from either side or perhaps just sheer pessimism.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
The awareness of the factors isn't to condemn rather to not take things for granted. It is not a given. We need failures in life to grow, we shouldn't condemn but learn from them. We learn to understand ourselves better, know what are our needs and priorities.

To me, being hopeful alone is being hopeless if one doesn't have a clue why. Many couples that eventually break up were hopeful to begin with believing in how unique and strong their relationship was. Once again, breakups don't just occur because there is no will. A working relationship will have so many reasons for its continued success. They are happy and motivated despite difficulties. When both are not motivated, all the believe of the will and how strong the relationship seems like history to the couple. It is a long and dynamic walk, what's strong today, doesn't by default remain constant that way. No matter how strong we are, our strength and passion isn't endless, we need to be motivated. Taking and giving works hand in hand. Synergy comes with the right combination and timing. It cannot be forced. Barrier hinders communication, destroy trust and causing resentments to build up. Every relationship have to deal with it. Having a completely conflicting interests between couple is a disaster waiting to erupt. The realization that peace in the relationship is only achieved with one party suppressing and bottling their emotions would be a good indication it is going downhill.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
There is a limit to what we can take, we all do. beyond that, everything becomes numb, tears dries up, it is when we have to do what it take to stop it no matter how much it is hurting or become completely unfeeling about it in order to go on. Loveless marriages are very common scenario.

It isn't how much one wants the relationship... its how much the relationship is worth keeping. One should not be stubborn. We look forward not backwards, we cherish the past but need to make decision for the best interests of the future... its important to have the good attitude to work on the relationship but when its clearly not good for the couple, don't insist to hold on without happiness.
 

soisuka

New Member
I agree we need to be aware of the difficulties and I am aware of it. I am just hopeful despite of it. I see difficulties as challenges rather than obstacles(if the love is mutual).

If both are not motivated, both have lost a bit or all of their love or they simply choose to 'withdraw their love', don't you agree? So isn't it all about love?

Everything in life is about love, love for self, love for others, love for things (which really is love for self).

We can continue to debate our views till 7am, but I'm assuming you have an early day? let's leave it as different opinions and you can get some sleep?
 

phoenix_sky31

New Member
My bf doesn't like to go ktv or sing song cos he doesn't drink and neither does he like to sing too. But I know he surf a certain forum but the most he does is comment on pictures that's all. But I don't check on him cos I trust him. He said it himself also that he doesn't have the time and extra money to do it either,
 

powder

Active Member
Soisuka,

divorces happen the same way breakups do... just that divroces are tougher becos it involves legality and abit of stigma.

whilst some pple dun try, some ppple do... loving is easy, living together isn't as easy and it can slowly corrode the love and leave u with just the option of living together... with the love disintegrated somehow... so being humans, we would like to live life, and may seek to split from the current and move on in search of it.

love doesn't conquer all, unfortunately. it cannot conquer terminal diseases, amputation, law, academic results, wars, religious disharmony, politics etc... this happens more on reel life than real life. Love for life actually conquers more than romantic love, yet Love for Life doesn't conquer all, it only helps us to conquer ourselves.

back to ktv... it is part n parcel of life and most guys have been exposed... some seek, some need, some reluctantly go... it has little to do with love, and more to do with self control. end of the day it's just paid-company of pretty young things... the guys who feel like kings, fail to realise ithey are in that position becos it is paid, and not becos they are very goodlooking and desirable.

in the first place, i doubt such guys would make good material for relationships. sadly, ladies are as much at fault for choosing such guys.

love cannot conquer the guy's career progression if he refuses to go ktv for biz reasons... neither can love conquer if he goes and acts all uptight and religious. he can only get mileage and please his gfren/wife... beyond that, i guess he has to change to jobs that dun require entertainment. then again, it might limit the horizons and that romantic trip to paris.

something's gotta give. life isn't all love n sunshine.
 

phoenix_sky31

New Member
Powder, even if he has time and money he wouldn't spend it on ktv either, cos he doesn't like to drink and he simply doesn't sing too. Cos we went to some ktv before and all he does was drink coke and accompany me.
Anyway, it's trust. What's the point of being together when there's no trust for each other.
 

powder

Active Member
yeah it's good to have trust, without doubt i agree.

i'm just saying that 'doesn't like to drink' and 'doesn't sing' isn't a basis for trust. my wife will just say she trust me, and not have to add abt me not liking drinking nor singing.

i dislike drinking, but i drink at ktvs... alot of pple i know dun sing either... u dun have to enjoy drinking nor singing to goto a ktv where u can also enjoy other stuff.

if men only went becos of these 2 reasons, then it won't be a thriving biz with thousands of girls coming n out every month.

i dislike drinking but i still go twice a week for over 10yrs... i dun think it's becos i am going there to practise my singing either...
 

powder

Active Member
and erm... i dun think it's very possible to find guys who will express their absolute thrill and total enjoyment to their gfrens after going ktvs...
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
being hopeful despite the difficulties in relationships with strong fundamentals and compatibility is completely logical but not so for one with all the obvious tell tale signs that is a bad gamble. I'm pretty hopeful over my own marriage as well. However, our own personal relationship is hardly a yardstick for everyone else. We can share references, to bring across some practical use cases, that's about it.

When one goes through all the hurts of a break ups, we learn to reflect and realize the mistakes made, it help us appreciate the future more and avoid wasting time struggling over the same problems.

On the topic of KTV, I would avoid frequenting these places, not because I find the women there distasteful or the hate of drinks. Simply because I know I'm just a normal guy and ktv is in a business that leverage on men's weakness and needs. That is the main selling point behind making the entire sales entertainment. I love beautiful women like many other men. Even if its just superficial or fake. It doesn't matter for the pure pleasure of lusting or sexual enjoyment. Our sexual instincts are no so deep to begin with, we have basic animal urges. It just appeals to that.

I have the choice not to choose a career that needs me to run on thin ice all the time.
 

phoenix_sky31

New Member
Man in general will maybe go for some reasons. But there are a small percentage of guys just won't go and my bf happens to belong to that small percentage.
Maybe it's hard to believe but it's true.
 

tomasulu

Member
there is just no talking to some folks. all they do is retreat to their safe houses and shut all avenues to outside reasons. your bf doesn't go ktvs because he doesn't drink or sing? so what's the worry if that's all people do in there? have you asked yourself the basis of your trust? that he is too poor to be bad? if that's the case, make sure you take control of his finances.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
What is trust? Is it something you place in someone who does things you approve of, can identify with or can see/understand, like drink coke and keep you company; basically just staying in the comfort zone.

Don't know since when trust has such a thin meaning.
 

mum_of_2_girls

New Member
Hi Soisuka,

I recommend you to watch this movie "The Age of Innoccence".

Hi Phoenix,

My Hubby doesn't go KTV or surf porn website but he has a collection of porn magazines and VCDs and like to look at sexy binkini girls at the pool.

After all these eye candies, he will buy sexy lingurie for me and be adventurous in bed at night.

Am I in the DANGER zone now? He has a lot of time,only work 3 days per week and has a lot of money lying around.

Any advice for me?

Hi Powder,

You are a man, do you really feel nothing, that is no reaction down there at all when looking at these sexy KTV girls?

Will you go back home and be adventurous with your wife after that?
 

soisuka

New Member
Albee, why ask me to watch this movie?! Haha sorry I like asking questions a lot. Wah your husband only needs to work 3 days a week! Hahaha he is so lucky. Ooh but be careful, boredom is one of the top motivator for sex. When bored, the mind wanders......

Milo, Powder, I hear you, but I have faith in love (the real kind). I am aware of the many things that can make or break a relationship, so it isn't blind faith. Love should help you conquer most things and not hinder you, but probably not things beyond our control like terminal illness and natural disasters etc. Love itself doesn't hurt, its people who hurt people. I believe in life we make decisions either out of love for ourselves or love for others, so it's a matter of who or what.

I can't say I always act out of love, sadly I am human, I am also prone to selfishness and self preservation, but I try.

Phoenix, just be careful the trust you have for him isn't a blind trust.
 

soisuka

New Member
Age of innocence is about a guy torn between his conventional wife and his passionate lover and in the end chooses to stay in a loveless marriage.

Er don't understand Albee, what are you trying to say?
 


simpleman

Active Member
Soisuka

I hear you, but I have faith in love (the real kind)


Sorry for being a kaypoh here. But you talk about the "real kind". Are there fake love? Mostly when we were initially in love - are they not real? Are they fake?

But real love also can fade. It can change over time. Or it is the people that will change. Don't get me wrong. I understand where you are coming from. I too believe in "love". Even to this day. But I believe "eternal love" is fleeting to say the least - and probably only in the minority - will it be that way. Like Yang Guo and Xiao Long Nu.... how many couples can be like that?

Most of us are mere mortals.
 

Top