Is Wife Having An Affair?

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by Adrian7878, Oct 9, 2017.

  1. Adrian7878

    Adrian7878 New Member

    We just celebrated our 30th anniversary. We have 2 grown children and a 21-yo godson. We had a loving relationship and wife had an emotional affair with her colleague 10 yrs ago (when I was nearly financially ruined). Praise God I was wonderfully restored (financially) to what I had hoped for. Now, my children are overseas graduated and in good jobs.

    3 years ago I had a medical mismanagement issue that nearly took my life. I was semi-comatosed for 2 years (bed-ridden and cannot hold a conversation) and woke up ... spent 6 months physiotherapy to learn how to walk and talk again. Wife is holding a high corporate position and we were financially free (independent accounts). Noticed wife coming back after midnight (Mon-Fri) and when I kissed her, tasted alcohol in her lips.
    I told her to resign as the job is so demanding and we don't need the good cash she brings in. She said "No. I enjoy my work." She now comes home by 7 pm and my physical condition is gradually improving daily. Found she took $600K from our joint account.

    Noticed she whatsapp from 10 pm onwards and smiling/giggling after long texting sessions. One night I got out of bed to living room at 11 pm, she was texting and quickly left for bathroom (to delete phone logs & chats). When she got out from bathroom, I asked "Who is the secret friend you have been texting almost every night?". She replied "My private matter. You don't have to know." I told her "You both are texting in my time. I didn't get to spend time with my wife. You both can text during office hours and I won't bother. As an incentive, we can divorce to give you more freedom for your private activities." She said "No." I wondered why?

    Getting a PI to snap pics of her 'outside' activities. If got evidence of her affair, I will file for divorce.

  2. newproject

    newproject Active Member

    How old are you both
  3. buddhabar

    buddhabar Active Member

    Frankly, its not abnormal for gal to text and giggle to themselves . 8 or 80 yr old doesnt make it different . Perhaps you two need to discuss about the unilateral 600k withdrawal. "My private matter. You don't have to know." Depending on the tone, this could have very different underlining meaning. Dont jump the gun.
  4. Cath_rina

    Cath_rina Member

    Your wife is not having an affair. It is her right to choose again. You in the first place failed as a man, who ask you to be sick? You cannot blame your wife from trying to improve her life with the true man of her choice. And that 600ķ? Be a man and give her!
  5. meiji5

    meiji5 Member

    Do exercise some caution in your reply and don't apply it to your situation that you have gone through.
    No one asks to fall ill and it does not require you to berate them either.
    Hope you can provide more constructive comments rather than focusing on whether a person is a local or a failure, that is not for us to decide or judge.
    newproject and SingleGal like this.
  6. Cath_rina

    Cath_rina Member

    Why so defensive? Can't handle the truth?
  7. buddhabar

    buddhabar Active Member

    What "truth" are you referring to ?
    "Your wife is not having an affair. It is her right to choose again" how is this ok while she is still married. I dont understand your perspectives .
  8. Infernolord

    Infernolord Active Member

    Honestly, after several of "her" replies, i think it's a "he" and a troll that trying to disguise as a lady.

    The way u replied really give you away.

    Pathetic and shame of you to not even able to be yourself and resort to such nonsense and childish ways.

    Period. You dont have to revert back and defend that you are a "her" unless you be honest to yourself and reveal some truth. No one in this forum will give a shit what you said.
    newproject likes this.
  9. Cath_rina

    Cath_rina Member

    Don't know how you local men can be so weak lah? You cannot respect a woman's right meh?
  10. Cath_rina

    Cath_rina Member

    Oh no...not again? Do you have something more creative?
  11. Adrian7878

    Adrian7878 New Member

    Sorry Cath.rina, I don't think local men are weak. If you are dating, your man is not up to it then you can choose other men but not when you are married.

    As for my wife, I asked her if she wanted a divorce so she can find someone else freely ... she replied "No." and behaved properly. Now home by 7pm and no more texting at home. I told her lovingly "If caught red handed, I will throw divorce papers at you. .
    SingleGal likes this.
  12. Cath_rina

    Cath_rina Member

    Is it very hard for you to be more gentlemanly enough to let her go?
  13. SingleGal

    SingleGal New Member

    I think your wife treasures you and the marriage. Don't worry too much about the texting. Perhaps she is really innocent and she could be giggling when texting a female friend (i am a girl and i also giggle and laugh when texting my female friends). Most important is that she has listened to you. I hope you will put the past behind you. All the best to you and your wife. May your marriage get stronger.
  14. meiji5

    meiji5 Member

    I wasn't even being defensive but just suggesting that you could provide something more constructive.
    But whatever you take out of anyone's comment, so be it.
    SingleGal likes this.
  15. Cath_rina

    Cath_rina Member

    Haha.. you can't handle the truth.

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