smurfetteyang
New Member
I have been confused for a while and don't really think that talking to my friends help. I thought this could be a good channel to seek some opinions but still remain annonymous... especially when this is something not too glamourous.
Unlike many of you in this forum, I am not planning for my wedding nor comtemplating about married life and its pros and cons. I am just a undergrad still trying to find my footing in life.
I stay in a students lodge and this is about my room mate, who happens to be my cousin and her boyfriend.
He comes over very often (the landlord's not very strict about such things apparently). So much so that I have to listen through the door each time before I turn the knob to enter the room. Very irritating if you ask me.
And on a few occasions, I would have to wait at the common area for them to 'finish up'. My cousin's not shy about it at all. At least the boy has some shame. Whenever he sees me waiting at the common area, he will apologise before leaving.
We all go to the same uni. And last semester, the boy and I attended the same intermediate Italian class. Since we sort of know each other, we became like partners in the class. We grew somewhat friendly with each other.
Towards to end of the year, the instructor planned some sort of an exchange to Italy for 3 weeks. I went and so did he.
I am sure you can guess what happened... I slept with him during the trip. Too many times to count. Funny thing is, we just enjoyed the moment and we didn't talk about why we did it or whatsoever.
When we came back, and just like any typical story, things went back to normal. He is still together with my cousin and I still had to wait a few times for them to finish. But deep inside me, I feel very hurt. It is the kind of feeling where you know you should not be feeling that way, yet you cannot cannot help it.
When he sees me now, he hardly meets my gaze. He will just walked passed me quickly. I don't understand. We had so much fun in Italy together. Exploring, trying to converse with the locals in our half-halted Italian. It felt like we were in love. At least to me.
I think he just wanted the sex and nothing else.
How could I be so stupid? These days, I try to avoid my cousin as much as I can. I only return to my room to sleep. It is so hard. My cousin says I am acting all weird and even called my mum about it.
I really want that boy. But I do not want to hurt my cousin too.
Someone just kill me.
Should I just come clean with it? Maybe I will feel better.
Unlike many of you in this forum, I am not planning for my wedding nor comtemplating about married life and its pros and cons. I am just a undergrad still trying to find my footing in life.
I stay in a students lodge and this is about my room mate, who happens to be my cousin and her boyfriend.
He comes over very often (the landlord's not very strict about such things apparently). So much so that I have to listen through the door each time before I turn the knob to enter the room. Very irritating if you ask me.
And on a few occasions, I would have to wait at the common area for them to 'finish up'. My cousin's not shy about it at all. At least the boy has some shame. Whenever he sees me waiting at the common area, he will apologise before leaving.
We all go to the same uni. And last semester, the boy and I attended the same intermediate Italian class. Since we sort of know each other, we became like partners in the class. We grew somewhat friendly with each other.
Towards to end of the year, the instructor planned some sort of an exchange to Italy for 3 weeks. I went and so did he.
I am sure you can guess what happened... I slept with him during the trip. Too many times to count. Funny thing is, we just enjoyed the moment and we didn't talk about why we did it or whatsoever.
When we came back, and just like any typical story, things went back to normal. He is still together with my cousin and I still had to wait a few times for them to finish. But deep inside me, I feel very hurt. It is the kind of feeling where you know you should not be feeling that way, yet you cannot cannot help it.
When he sees me now, he hardly meets my gaze. He will just walked passed me quickly. I don't understand. We had so much fun in Italy together. Exploring, trying to converse with the locals in our half-halted Italian. It felt like we were in love. At least to me.
I think he just wanted the sex and nothing else.
How could I be so stupid? These days, I try to avoid my cousin as much as I can. I only return to my room to sleep. It is so hard. My cousin says I am acting all weird and even called my mum about it.
I really want that boy. But I do not want to hurt my cousin too.
Someone just kill me.
Should I just come clean with it? Maybe I will feel better.