is it very silly to pay for airticket and accomodation for boyfriend when we go travelling...I am the one who wanted to go there to shop and my bf actually have financial difficulty and i didnt want him to pay me back. Am I very silly?
dear anne, its not silly. => i think in a r/ship, its abt give n take, love, support, encouragement, faithfulness etc. $ is not smthg tat i wld measure.
ur bf has some financial difficulties now, so just take it as u 'treating' him or pampering him w a hol. in time to come, he will also spend $ on u w/out questioning whether it is silly. hee. today's world is more equal. the guy can pay for the gal, sometimes gal pay for guy, sometimes go dutch for big expenses. fair enough. =>
I think it is silly that you wanted to go for a holiday to do your shopping and volunteered to pay for the air ticket and accomodation because you think that it is nice of you to do that and he is in financial difficulties.
Then after a few days, you have doubts that if you have did the right thing by paying for your boyfriend.
I wondered how you will feel if you know your boyfriend buys you something nice and then regreted doing it. It would be pretty funny i think.
1. If he is having financial difficulty - what type? Owe money? I don't think he will be in the mood to go overseas. Esp if you just want to go shopping. Maybe it is better off to save the money and you go alone. Why do you need him there? You will be busy shopping and he is sulking. Worse right?
2. You should be okay to look after yourself. Or if you are going with friends, its just fine to go alone.
3. Personally if I have financial difficulty, the primary objective is not to spend un-neccessarily. Granted, its your money but save it bah.
i guess the pride thing is out..I choose bangkok as i guess its also what i can afford..choosen a budget hotel too.. he has no objection as he thinks i am using my own money...of course, though its shopping, i will spend wisely..by the way, i am a very thrifty person. he knows...the reason why i am bringing him is to let him have a short holiday and relax too...dont feel good to enjoy myself only.
there is no fixed answers. It depends on how flexible and open is your relationship. And how much you guys can trust each other enough to share your finances. I'm a firm believer of marrying only someone that I can completely trust my finances with.
This way, there has never been a question who pays more or can afford more. We don't leave each other with a budget so thin to need to micro manage the funds. Most conflicts happens due to poor fund management and lack of communication & understanding of each other constraints and priorities.
If you cannot trust him enough for your finances, go dutch. Work with your comfort level.