"ALSO, quick question: If we decide to go through the whole ROM thing, are there religious people that would step in and start giving orders and directives?"
Snow...your answer to the above question is NO. We're not in Malaysia. We're in Singapore. We're not an islamic country. We're a secular country. Therefore, you won't get a syariah court order.
Seriously, marriage is just not about converting here & there. It's between 2 people willing to build a marriage together. If you marry your own race, it's also the same thing. Even marrying own race but both are not working hand-in-hand to make the marriage work, will also end up in divorce what!
If you talking about legal issues, one thing you have to consider is that once you marry under ROMM, it means in any case of divorce proceedings, it will FIRST go through the Syariah Court and not the Civil Court. Hence, Muslim laws will apply. Understand?
Put aside other people's opinions and all those KPO ppl makciks, amah, apek whom you think will gossip about you..blah blah blah.. These gossips are common even if you marry your own ethnicity.
So if i'm in your position now, these are the questions that i will start pondering carefully and answering them as well as discuss with my FH:
1. Do i love my FH?
2. Do i think i can make my marriage work?
3. Can i accept Allah as my God?
4. Can i accept the religion wholeheartedly?
5. If i convert, am i going to really practice it or convert for the sake of converting?
6. If i have children next time, and sway my marriage fails, what will happen to my children's upbringing?
7. If in the case of divorce (assume you convert and register in ROMM), what are the procedures like?
8. What are my chances of being able to win custody of my children?
9. Will my family accept my "new path"?
10. Do i really believe in the religion? (this must come truthfully. Only you can answer this).
11.Can my FH accept if i don't convert?
12.Can my FH accept if i convert but i don't practice it?
13. Can my FH be able to defend me if his own family objects?
14. Is my FH agreeable that we compromise to practice both his race culture & my culture?
15. What are the cultures that i am still able to practice if i convert? (For this, it's better for you to ask the right people, for eg.. the ustazah / ustad from the converts association)