Insecurity!! Need some advice badly..

chelody

New Member
Hi I've just got together wit my current bf for about 4mth plus.. we were best frens for e past 5 yrs and only got together recently..

I'm feelin very insecure recently.. due to my past experience of being cheated by my ex.. (I caught him in bed wit another ger and i forgave him) I tink i've brought this insecure n suspicious feeling to my current bf.. however i know him as a fren n he knows what i went thru and he's e one alwaz there for me when all my ger frens have given up on mi coz i'm too stupid in their opinion.. i felt very sorry for treatin him this way.. but i can't getaway wit this feelin..

another reason y i feel so insecure is also because i'm a 3rd party.. well we were really best frens over e past 5 yrs.. alwaz giving each other support and advices whenever we're down at work or relationship.. but we nv crossed the line of being frenz ony till recently when i was single and he had problems wit his wife.. we went out in a group and den suddenly things btw us starts to change.. maybe it was there all along jus tat we dun realise..

he's gg thru annulment with his ex wife and gave up alot to be wit me.. but i still doubted his love n suspect he has another ger.. i havo no evidence it's juz a feelin tat my ex gave mi tat i cannot forget.. i feel tat my bf can do it to his wife he'll do it to me from a gf point of view.. but as a best fren i know he won't.. coz thru his relationship in e past.. he alwaz confide in me and he tries to salvage the relationship till it finally reach his limit.. then he will have a clean break with the gf before he get another ger.. for mi n him, there were problems wit him n his ex wife.. he had a very clean break with her.. i know he tried his best to salvage but his ex gf n wife took him for granted.. i personally see it myself.. i know i shld trust him tat he's not a 2 timer or flirt.. but my suspicions are just getting out of hands.. my bf is enduring coz he know my past.. but i know it's hurting e relationship in e long term..

wad can i do i reli dunno..
 

cuclainne

New Member
you need to tell yourself that your current beau is a separate individual from your ex .. you should not think that if one man has cheated on you, that all men are cheaters too by default.

also, i think that perhaps you should give him some space to settle the annulment first before you put your everything into the relationship.
 

thermos

New Member
Like u wrote, u know your insecurity is straining the relationship. Normally what people do when they feel insecure, its to give the partner more space and relaxing your grip, you'll soon appreciate that its not that hard to let go of suspicions. That poor guy is going thro' annulment and here you are feeling insecure and afraid he got other GFs, pls lah, give him a break lor. Since u r friends for 5 yrs oredy, surely u know how different he is from your ex wad...
 

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