hi, this is my first time posting here. just happened to come across this post and felt that it was something similar to what i've experienced.
i met my bf on a job just 6 months ago. then, i knew he had a girlfriend. he had a girlfriend of 7 years, and from what i know, his mother just bought the bai jing and was preparing for their marriage already(though my bf had not proposed to his then-gf. but u knw how some mothers are, and his is the controlling kind. lol)
we kind of just got attracted to each other fast. as we both were freelancers, we knew that after that project together we most probably wont see each other again till we have a chance to work together again. at that time i still didnt know he likes me. it appears he was trying very hard to curb his feelings for me as well, as he is a very faithful guy.
but after that project, we met up everyday. and sad to say, i became the 3rd party. he was two-timing. at first i thought this r/ship would go no where. he has a gf his whole family expected him to marry soon anyways. but one day he couldnt take it. he even booked a hotel and stayed over for a night with his gf, but he told me that face wasnt the face he wanted to wake up to every day. and he decided to break up with his gf.
upon knowing the full story, the girlfriend tried to kill herself, not once, but several times. he even told him she's pregnant with his child(which i didnt believe from the start but my bf is a family man). that girl even went to tell my bf's parents. well, i guess she was just too deeply in love with my bf to let go. but is love that selfish? my bf went back to her because he was afraid he would cause her death.
but after a couple of days he decided to really leave the girl, and let the girl do whatever she wants because he just wasnt happy. then, he told me the whole story. throughout their 7 years, the girl has been using suicide as a tool to keep him by her side. and he admited that he just wasnt emotionally strong enough to break free. he was used to her as well, and didnt really want any change.
his mother still hasnt accepted me. she called me(not in front of my face of cos) a chi b** face and all. im still the vixen, the 3rd party, to many people.
i dare say im in love with my bf, and he with me. given the circumstances that we met, im surprised - he has my 100% trust. too early to say, but he might just be the one. he's been talking about marriages recently. i kinda get his hint. lol.
anyway, what i want to say is, sometimes, its not that guys want to stray. its also not that the 3rd party is in the wrong. if the rship could not withstand a 3rd party in the first place, there must be something wrong. its nobody's fault.
my friend just got engaged last month, with his gf of 6.5 years. guess what. the girl, on the day they wanted to file a registration, decided she's been with the wrong guy for the 6 yrs plus. and now they've broken up.
sometimes, its a matter of meeting the right one. its a matter of connecting with that one special one out there.
my bf told me, that 7 yrs was pure torture. but the moment when he met me, he knew it was i he wanted.
PS: remember when i said his ex gf told him she was carrying his baby? i was right. she was faking it.