Yes, I admit I do feel lonely at times, esp when I am not someone who socialise alot and in fact, I dun really want to make frens (dun like spending time/ going out with pple, feel that it is a total waste of time)
Whether I need love or not, I dunno how to answer, cos I derive love from my own family (my parents and kids) and I do my best to spend as much time as I could with them. I make it an effort to take dinner at home almost daily and spend my weekends with them. I spend my time with him when my kids are not with me (asleep in my parents' place/ after midnight etc).
Carrie, I know where you are coming from, cos u are someone who had been hurt and betrayed before by the other woman. So am I, but I am not doing this in the form of revenge. When my ex betrayed me, I dun feel hurt, just very very angry. I had not shed a tear since the entire D process. Dun ask me why, but I just look down on the man who do not know how to treasure me. To me, he is hopelessly pathetic to risk the marriage for some flings and as expected, I do not bat an eyelid when I signed the papers. Am I heartless ? I dunno.. Maybe.but I dun see a reason why I should humble myself to accpet whatever shitty mess he made.
Thrill, yes. Money is not. I have never ask any of them for $ or anything. I do not like the idea of being together for the sake material stuff. I prefer companion and hate to admit this, lust blinds us. I have no intention to be someone's mistress for goodness sake!! Maybe I m really sending wrong the wrong signals but it so happened that many guys I've met are either married/ attached.
I dread marriage.Cos I dun trust anyone anymore. As I had mentioned earlier, I spent 10 freaking years of my youth on a marriage that failed and another 2 years fighting the divorce battle. I am truly sick and tired and that paper from ROM scares the hell out of me.It is a grave mistake that I got married at a rather early age, where most of my frens are still in the U ,cos I guess I am blinded by love then. Now I think love does not exist anymore..at least to me. Sigh..