I also think biological is not the most important. What is important is the genunine love and concern shown..
Raising children is an art in itself. Easier or difficult - that will depends on the parents. Raising 1 kid is in my opinion the most difficult. Raising more is easier relatively.
Favoritism is really a difficult issue to tackle. Different people around you will tell you that you "show" favoritism when in your own mind, you tell yourself you are not.
One of the trick is to let each child feels that he or she is special. The best way is to spend private individual time with them. If you have more than 1 child, you need to spend private individual time with each of them - to connect with them and give them that special feeling.
all night cats have nt zzz. Cheong might be too tired nw,chill out here lor,keng kay here.
Hw u daddies cope with 2 kids?im stil considering no 2,worrying hw to juggle 2? In fact i have been considering for years.
After so long, everything is done. I have made my choice and choosen my path. Till now, I'm
happily married after a year with my husband (J) and already in the process of getting our own flat. We both love our son very much get him everything he needs and best of the best. I guess this is what all parents get and want for our child. Yes... I'm occasionally having arguements with Hubby. All due to his daughter and His family bad background. Therefore, I have laid many terms n conditions with him in order for me to be happy in this marriage and cut down on quarrels. I know all of u will think I'm cruel, selfish or evil. I myself did feel that way too base on my conscience. However, I give up struggling trying to be a nice person and making everyone happier. It's too hard. I rather choose to ne selfish... Indeed very selfish . I made my husband promise never to mention his daughter name and stuff infront of me. I told him, I will nv accept her and will never let my son even see her and not even acknowledge her. We will treat her invisible. I made him promise me that I don't need to visit his family and no need for him to go back to see his daughter. At most once a month. She die or wad not my concern. And when our new house, his family cannot step in and shall not even know where. I made my will that all my money and assets n investment shall only go to my son . Not a single cent to my husband and his family. Otherwise, money will be donated to SPCA. He has to agree or we divorce. I also remind him... To abandon a child and let her alone ne fatherless and motherless is better than two being grow up in broken family. I let him choose... Cos it's too hard for me.
Although I think that taking care of your hubby's gal is not your responsibility but your terms and conditions....do you really think you can enforced it...they are father and daugther linked by blood...I think its too much to forbide him to seeing and caring for his daugther...against nature and not humane....
The kind of selfish values that he's going to learn from his mother. As dysfunctional as your "family" already is, you don't need to make it anymore worse. He doesn't need to learn bad lessons from adults like you.
I'm not going to mince my words and make it sound nice for you. This is what you are:
Actually kids do not need perfect environment to grow up. In this case, his mother is probably exposing him to the negative and what not to be. Similarly, there are many things that we might grow to disapprove about our own folks. No matter how parents try to influence us, we have a mind of our own. We will discover for ourselves on what is not right.
Probably, her son would lose the respect for her upon learning the truth. Dream on if she thinks it can be kept underwarps forever.
You are indeed a very selfish woman. I cannot understand why you need to distance your husband from his daughter. What's wrong when he mention about his own daughter?What goes around comes around and do you want it to happen to your own son? Very selfish behavior.
Anyway, why would anyone make their partner promise on things against their wish? Think about it.
Totally laughable. You think that you can somehow make him accountable through a promise. An agreement made under such circumstance is nothing less than a threat. Does it hold any value? Fat hope. If the man wants to quit, promises mean nothing.
Promises are overrated as people think believe in its magical effect clings on to the need to make their spouses promises to things as an assurance. If you marry someone trust worthy, there is nothing to guard against him. Otherwise, all these fake assurance doesn't really give you any assurance at all. What really give u the true assurance is your quality in the relationship, marriage and communication itself. You would know if he is someone with integrity to trust in the very 1st place.
Driving him to commit against his will only ruin that quality in the relationship and marriage.
Thanks for all ur post. After reading what i expected, i thought i will be "moved" or change... but i feel nothing. Thus, i guess i am really able to be a real cruel and harsh woman in order to get what i want. "i will stop at nothing to make her miserable". The ex wife has made me very displease with her. Of cos,since i cant vent my anger anyway.. i take it on her daughter who she left and abandon for a man / affair.
Outcast, i posted this here despite i knew peoples bombard cos i know both Helelina & Ng Xiang Kai is reading. Not only i dare to say this to her but to the people ard.
imk not like her know how to sweet talk and lie. i find it too tiring. i prefer to spell out whats from my heart. i dont want to accept means NO WAY. So, dun try to push ur responsibility to me. Do get ur daughter back to urself. Dont tell me u cant raise her as u have another daughter with ur affair. You tell me n treat me as a fool. Thus, i am not going to spend a single dime cent on ur fu*king girl. Even she beg for food, i feed to dogs than to her. My anger is ur cause. Helen, u can act n hide behind a nickname. cos u have no guts and honesty. dont need to sms me anything saying abt my post here yet u dare not reveal ur true colours here.
Listen Helen: U choose to leave n abandon here to have ur lustful way of life as a whore by fu*king around when u re pregnant n even married. This is ur retribution. People usually say, punishment does not come ur way..but ur decendents. Since u dont care about her, why should i? shouldnt i concentrate and give my son the best? If i need to divide my spending of money, time, love, care, concern and teach him to study for ur daughter... i wont. Cos my son is going to get the best. i will give my son two portion of food more n see ur daughter die. This is how muh i hate her. I want her motherless and fatherless. You call my son a dog, ur daughter will be like u... a FREE WHORE when she is in her teens like u...
Thats all i have to say. Helen. do save this up n give ur lawyer to fighht for her sole custody if u want. i dont mind as this reflect my true sentiments on u n ur daughter.
En Xuan: Have you really grow up upon going into Motherhood? Is the child really at fault? She can't choose her parents can she? Dun you find yourself childish for targetting at a defenceless little girl? I think you need some professional help seriously.
I will not blame you of not wanting to take care of the gal, I will not blame you for putting your son and your self interest first, I will not blame you for wanting to give the best to your son, I understand the hatred you have now towards his ex-wife (I used to have the same hatred towards my relatives too) but I also think that the little gal is innocent and she is very pitiful having losing her mom and now you are forbiding her father to care and love her....i was once in that position and understand her feeling...unwanted, dispised and lonely...she might be naughty but thats her way of getting attention from adults...she needs love and care...someone to guide her in her life..its ok if you dont like her but please do not make it difficult for her father to love her...thts the very least you can do for a fellow human being not your hubby's daugther...
To be frank, its very difficult for me to response hatred with kindness and understanding...but my mom taugth me its possible...i dont know how but my hatred only dissovle after the death of that person....I dont feel any happiness then...only slight sadness...i dont know why but i asked myself what did I get in the end...nothing but the lost time....I know no matter what I said here will change you now but as a human being, please be fair to the little gal...you can do whatever you want to the her mom but please do not take it on the gal....she is the most pitiful victim in this whole episode...thank you and best wishes to you.
Albee, u dunno wad I feel... I can love my friends child not to mention my nephews too.. I organise swimmin trips to baby spa and even got them stuff n visit them when sick and help to care for them... They r so angelic...
But the thot of that GIRL drives my blood climax! I hate it whenever she trys to stand in between me n Hubby and shove me aside. She always tell people I don't like her n only love didi. Yes! I am... But she n the adults made it worse. Yes! She is the victim. But she is also the cause! Her non exsistance will be the solution. She is the EVERYTHING of it! Luckily my Hubby understand y I'm so hateful towards her n made extra effort in coaxing me n not to mention her... Do u know when I m angry whenever I think abt her... I clench my son so hard while carryng him tat gives him bruises? When I realise it, I was upset n have hurt my son without realizing... Therefore, e best is keep her out of my space!
The best is her mom take her away... If she doesn't want her anymore, I wished that she can die n someone's place... So she disappear forever! Some babies r so poor thing... Miscarriage or stillborn... Why can't she is the one when it was four years back?! Many will be happier! Why Baby Even die? She should die n take his place... Baby Even has a good n lovng parents. They will be ver happy as a family...
Hey woman, beware of your tongue that speaks. I think u've been getting much too out of hand. Where's ur mother, she never teaches u manners and kindness? I wonder, how ur mother and father feel when they hear u speak in such evil manner with evil thoughts of a young child. Ur parents should be very different from u, I reckon? Where are ur real friends and family? I don't think they sing the same evil tune as u, given the fact that when æˆ‘ä»¬èº«ä¸ºäººæ¯äººçˆ¶ æ›´åº”å½“æ‡‚å¾—å¾—é¥¶äººå¤„ä¸”é¥¶äºº. Make peace, no war. Give kindness, not evil. Be angel, not devil....
It's just a matter of time that the table turns back on you. Don't think that your hb can tahan you for so long. Which man would be proud to say that he has a wife who wishes his own daughter death??? Oops, I forgot! He's just a loser like you. He wouldn't dare to share this with his friends that his wife is like this. What about u? Do u share ur evil thoughts with ur parents and BFF as well? I shudder at the thought of ur pathetic existence. But I'm sure that despite having such an evil mother, your son will be a man who sees the truth and knows to stay away from warp evil thoughts.