Company going to shut down soon, now having holiday mood, dun feel like working... suddenly this question pops up my mind. Wonder what will you all do if this happened... Sorry if this question is too wu liao
For me, I always believe in treating others the way you want to be treated. So personally, if I was the betrayed wife, I would want to know simply coz I have a right to know. I mean, why hide the cheating from me, right?
And if I knew my good friend's HB/ wife is having an affair, then I think I'd know them well enough to know whether they'd want to know, or whether they'd want me to keep quiet. So, I'll act accordingly lor. But I doubt I can stay completely quiet also, haha, so if the latter, then I'd drop hints.
It did happened to me before and i also did dropped hints to my friend abt her hubby cheating ways but she chose to ignore the hints that i gave her. Sigh.. guess she might choose not to believe since she already found out abt her hubby's cheating long ago but trust blindly in her hubby words.
Your approach - go to your buddy directly n release your bits and pieces of information; whether he/she gets your hints, is another matter. You feel that you've done ur part as a friend liao.
My approach - if possible, talk to the partner(since i saw what shldn't be the case) and try to better comprehend the circumstances leading to that particular situation.
Afterall, the involved person is my gd buddy - someone whom i care abt, and i feel that it's not my nature to simply ignore that situation, or to simply tell my gd buddy without getting the full picture.
And to you, it's your buddy's business but you still feel the need to get involved with your bits and pieces of information... which might be detrimental instead of helpful to your buddy's cause.
nope nope nope... i still dunno my approach yet... if it happens to me, i wont really know wat exactly to do.
just feel that, if go to the partner directly, it might be too direct, and there might not be turning back which, it might not be what my buddy want ma. somehow, if such things happen, it shld leave to my buddy to decide what he/she wants to do?
and in fact, i'm wondering whether to drop hint to my buddy also. or maybe another way, if possible, to 'secretly' find out the truth first, instead of asking the partner face to face?
i have this experience 6 months ago. I saw my fren hb cheating and told the wife. She does not believed what I say and say I am making the story up. And finally the whole thing was exposed and they are now seperated.
My friend knew about my ex-husband's affair and he even knows the 3rd party. He kept it from me for more than 6 months, before I discovered the truth. The feeling was terrible to be cheated by someone you love, and it was made even worst by the fact that your friend helped to cover up.
So I guess, if you care for your friend and wish the best for him/her, get the facts sorted out and tell him/her if it need be. If he/she thank you for it, it will be a good deed done. But if he/she blames you and does not believe what you said, then you have done the best that you could have.
I once finally confessed to a close friend tt I knew her fiance was cheating on her, after about three months, where I warned her fiance that I knew, asked him to change his ways, and that if he did not do so, I would tell her. He didn't give up the affair, so I told my friend. She was really upset, confronted him, broke up with him initially. But one month later he convinced her to get back together with him and said that I had been exaggerating the incidents. And because she wanted to believe him, she took him back. And we don't talk very much anymore. So what's the best thing to do? I have no idea.
There is no fixed answer. In principle, I would have told my friend. But, getting the appropriate timing is not always easy.
Also, if the guy happens to be also my friend, instead of telling the wife, I would call the husband for a buddy talk and offer some brotherly advise. The purpose isn't to help to cover up. If he insists on his affairs, then I would find the opportunity to inform the wife.
At the end of the day, we are their friends. The focus should be thinking about their interests. Not some judge to determine and side with either of them. We are not in the situation to really conclude who is at fault nor to 'punish' the 'villian'.
hi, just joined in.. now I change the question to..
if your husband share with u abt one of his very close buddies who ALWAYS have affairs with different girls.. just merely Oral Sex.. will u tell his wife?? basically I think all his buddies know.. If thats the case, most of their gfs and wives are aware of it too..
what you can do is approach your friend's hubby. let him know that you know. see his reaction, whether he is repentant or otherwise.
From his reaction, you can then make your decision. If you feel that he is repentant and willing to make amends, then give him a chance to. Sometimes, in such cases, ignorance is bliss. If you tell on him, then whatever hopes of salvaging the relationship is lost. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If by telling, she lost her trust in him, then there is no basis for this relationship.