We've been living together for almost 2 years and we were a happy couple. We even planned to get married. As his parents were from overseas, they came for a long visit and lived for some times with us prior the ceremony. They will still be here for another 1.5 months.
My future parents in-law were not very easy to live with, especially the mum, my bf is their only child. They have a high standard and sometimes I felt it's very hard to please them. And when my bf showed any loving action towards me (it can be a simple action like praising me, giving me a peck / kiss at the forehead, scooping dishes for me etc), the mum would look unhappy and sometimes I noticed that she stared jealously at us. I also had a feeling that they dislikes me because I am Asian, my bf is an Ang Moh, so maybe they think I am not good enough for the son.
She always complained about a little thing like the house was not clean enough after I tidied it, about the toilet bowl, kitchen, bedroom etc. She was also very emotional. Worse she would even resort to crying and said I have no respect for her. I admit that I am someone who don't smile a lot, quiet (ie don't not how to sweet talk or please the eldery), sometimes I may have actions or words that may upset them (unintentionally) and I don't know until my bf tells me they don't like this and that etc. But all these are minor things which I think can be rectified especially we've just met and we need time to adjust to each other? Especially I have no experience for being a daughter in-law? But in my heart I really care about them and always try very hard to make them happy. For example one time on the way home and though it rained heavilly, I still felt like getting them something, so I bought the dad his favourite beer and the mum her favourite salad. The dad was happy but the mum didn't even want to eat the food.
My bf came from a broken family. When he was young (in his teens), his father was a alcohol addict (till now he still drinks but at an acceptable level) and he had countless affairs with other women. Sometimes during the arguements the dad would even hit his mum. He has been really strict with him since young that's why up to now he is still 'scared' of the father. When the mum's feeling was down with what the father had done, she would release it on my bf, once she even slapped him continuously. He once suffered but recovered from a very serious depression that caused him the trembling, pale looking face, sweating, sleepless and thoughts of suicide.
After their marriage is shattered, there's no harmony in the family until now. That's why my bf chooses to leave his hometown and be far away. But still my bf make the effort to talk to the mum once every week. My bf always regards her mum as a victim and pities her very much, so he will try to please her.
My bf used to have a good job while I am just a general administrator, so all along he is the one who pays for the basic living expenses like the rent, utilities and food (not including my personal expenses). But he decides to persue a full time studies so he resigned from his work. He told me he had enough savings to substain the living expenses until he completed the studies, so I don't have to worry about it, he also understands that my parents are financially dependent on me. So all along we have been very careful in our spending.
His father learns about our living arrangement and he burst into anger because he says the son has been borrowing money from him and blamed I didn't contribute to help the son. I don't even know about these loans so this make the matter worse!
Ever since the parents came, they always talked bad about me. When he told me about it I was unhappy and felt that he didn't stand up for me, therefore countless arguements started in between us. In long term it hurts our relationship. He thinks I'm not understanding and he has enough, he is depressed and he just wants to get away from this situation. So his solution is to call off the marriage and break-up.
The last few times we met after the break-up, he looked very sad and souless. I tried to save the relationship but he had been very insist to break up. I say if leaving me is a relief, why do you look sad, you should look happy?
He refuses to answer my call / sms / email. I've stopped contacting him to give him some time and space. I am very sad and I really don't know what to do. I don't know if this is the end of our relationship?
My future parents in-law were not very easy to live with, especially the mum, my bf is their only child. They have a high standard and sometimes I felt it's very hard to please them. And when my bf showed any loving action towards me (it can be a simple action like praising me, giving me a peck / kiss at the forehead, scooping dishes for me etc), the mum would look unhappy and sometimes I noticed that she stared jealously at us. I also had a feeling that they dislikes me because I am Asian, my bf is an Ang Moh, so maybe they think I am not good enough for the son.
She always complained about a little thing like the house was not clean enough after I tidied it, about the toilet bowl, kitchen, bedroom etc. She was also very emotional. Worse she would even resort to crying and said I have no respect for her. I admit that I am someone who don't smile a lot, quiet (ie don't not how to sweet talk or please the eldery), sometimes I may have actions or words that may upset them (unintentionally) and I don't know until my bf tells me they don't like this and that etc. But all these are minor things which I think can be rectified especially we've just met and we need time to adjust to each other? Especially I have no experience for being a daughter in-law? But in my heart I really care about them and always try very hard to make them happy. For example one time on the way home and though it rained heavilly, I still felt like getting them something, so I bought the dad his favourite beer and the mum her favourite salad. The dad was happy but the mum didn't even want to eat the food.
My bf came from a broken family. When he was young (in his teens), his father was a alcohol addict (till now he still drinks but at an acceptable level) and he had countless affairs with other women. Sometimes during the arguements the dad would even hit his mum. He has been really strict with him since young that's why up to now he is still 'scared' of the father. When the mum's feeling was down with what the father had done, she would release it on my bf, once she even slapped him continuously. He once suffered but recovered from a very serious depression that caused him the trembling, pale looking face, sweating, sleepless and thoughts of suicide.
After their marriage is shattered, there's no harmony in the family until now. That's why my bf chooses to leave his hometown and be far away. But still my bf make the effort to talk to the mum once every week. My bf always regards her mum as a victim and pities her very much, so he will try to please her.
My bf used to have a good job while I am just a general administrator, so all along he is the one who pays for the basic living expenses like the rent, utilities and food (not including my personal expenses). But he decides to persue a full time studies so he resigned from his work. He told me he had enough savings to substain the living expenses until he completed the studies, so I don't have to worry about it, he also understands that my parents are financially dependent on me. So all along we have been very careful in our spending.
His father learns about our living arrangement and he burst into anger because he says the son has been borrowing money from him and blamed I didn't contribute to help the son. I don't even know about these loans so this make the matter worse!
Ever since the parents came, they always talked bad about me. When he told me about it I was unhappy and felt that he didn't stand up for me, therefore countless arguements started in between us. In long term it hurts our relationship. He thinks I'm not understanding and he has enough, he is depressed and he just wants to get away from this situation. So his solution is to call off the marriage and break-up.
The last few times we met after the break-up, he looked very sad and souless. I tried to save the relationship but he had been very insist to break up. I say if leaving me is a relief, why do you look sad, you should look happy?
He refuses to answer my call / sms / email. I've stopped contacting him to give him some time and space. I am very sad and I really don't know what to do. I don't know if this is the end of our relationship?
