Hi shirleypoise
I'm sorry I even suggested sitting down to TALK with him. Yes, I know you have tried without success. But my point really is, talking it out is the ONLY way to resolve such issues. Yes, it sounds like a simple solution. It really is.
Only problem is, when he no longer wants to talk, then there can be no progress. As good as saying the marriage is destined for a breakup, aka DIVORCE. You can't possibly be living with a "stranger" who is supposed to love you, and be closest to you.
Indeed, marriage is something that should be considered very carefully before embarking on the journey together.
Don't know why some people marry without thinking of the consequences and repercussions. On a global level, maybe it's the changing times that make one view marriage as less sacred, and foreign cultures where divorce is more common influence us to think it's only a passing fad?
On a more personal level, it oould be that it's something the "abuser" was curious about: "Oh I'm getting married!" But after that, it's "So boring. Think I married the wrong person." Basically, personal, innermost feelings were not sorted out well before the marriage.
I think there's little left for you to do now since you've already put in so much effort. You must move on and really think hard about your own future. Never let this experience bring your life down. But rsther, create another one which gives you more satisfaction. And true love.